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i dunno how tim always managed to BRAINWASH me over the years. everything that ever came outta his mouth was a fucking lie & reading about 2004 is so frustrating & i juswanna go back & kick my ass for falling for his shit AGAIN. i'm SO happy he went back to theresa (& then she proceeded to leave him a few years later after i was already married to jamie so tim KNEW he'd never EVER get me back ever again!!) so i should credit her for SAVING ME FROM TIM!! Thanks Theresa!!! (totally NOT sarcastic this time!!!) if it wasn't for HER i coulda made the biggest mistake in my life & i have no idea what woulda happened to me but i know it would not have been GOOD. phew! that was CLOSE!! but seriously all he ever did was drag me down, all he ever wanted to do was FIGHT & be miserable & wanted me to be unhappy. & that's not how marriages are supposed to be.( & did i seriously fucking think that i was gonna marry him??? seriously?!!!) that's not fucking NORMAL. jamie makes me happy & i make him happy & we are happy to be HAPPY!!! it's so fucked up that some people wanna be with someone but don't want them to be happy. they isolate them & don't want them to have friends cos they hafta have all of yer attention all the time for their constant 24 hour PITY PARTY!!! & if they see yer happy they hafta drag you down to thier level. fuck that shit!!! i love my husband so much & we live to make each other happy not DESTROY each other like tim wanted & he HAD to have DRAMA & CHAOS in his life & my life wasn't about that & he didn't like that i didn't wanna fight w/him everyday like theresa.....he was so miserable he wanted me to be as miserable as he was/is. i am so lucky that i fucking got away from him. enough of this shit i gotta get ready to go out with JAMIE tonight cos also UNLIKE TIM we like to go out & have fun.
ugh...today i am retyping my old LJ from 2004. when all i wrote about was "brandon this & brandon that"! It is SO fucking annoying...all i ever did was call brandon,make out with brandon & get pissed at brandon. i 'm so sick of brandon right now!!! arrrg... i just read this entry where i called him & he told me i was dramatic & that i would call him & "raise hell"...cos he was always fucking w/me & playing games!!! guys like him & tim & maybe even kraig only know that BITCHY side of me cos they brought that out in me. with their constant LIES & always picking fights...yeah i was a fucking bitch to them cos that's all they deserved.... they don't know me like jamie does. sure i can be mean when i'm pms-ing but that's only natural ! :) but he knows the sweet nutring side of me. he treats me with nothing but love & respect. brandon & tim never fucking respected me so it made it hard from me to respect them& they didn't deserve my fucking respect anyway. you get what you give. so once again reading about the past makes me so thankful for my husband & my life NOW! whew...
| Etsy Buy Handmade mrsnoggle |
i just realized something...i don't HATE kishtra. ( i don't like her either but i don't waste my time dwelling on the past or whatever) but i just had an epiphany! it's THANKS TO HER that i am with Jamie!!! i've been re-typing my old livejournals & putting them back online & all that shit that happened--happened for a reason. sure she deserves to be punched in the face for stalking us,spreading rumors& stealing from jamie but that was 4 years ago & i kinda owe her one....becos w/o her jamie never woulda told me he was in love with me & i never woulda realized that i could love him back as more than a friend...& now we've been together for 4 years & will be together for the rest of our lives!!! YAY!!! so THANKS KISHTRA!!!
old journals entries i just re posted:
I'M IN LOVE WITH MY BEST FRIEND (cos i didn't just jump into a relationship w/jamie. i tried to "let him down easy" at first cos i thought i didn't feel the same way!!)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY (this is from a few days later after jamie & i got together. we haven't spent one night apart since June 3rd,2005!!!)
SO ME & JAMIE HAVE AN ANNIVERSARY COMING UP!!! WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 4 LOOOOONG YEARS!!!! :)
[Riot Grrrl split review:]
This split zine features memoir style essays from Hannah Neurotica and Jolie Noggle, two ardent, diehard riot-grrrl-ists. They write about how they discovered the riot grrrl movement and music, and blossomed into their own righteous riot grrrl selves with an almost religious fervor. Hannah puts it best--she was "reborn" as a riot grrrl following a series of events and personal awakenings. We get to read about their fanatic obsessions with Kathleen Hanna, and all the riot grrrl heroes. Jolie includes a copy of a handwritten letter response that she received in the mail from Kathleen Hanna and a picture of the two of them meeting at a Le Tigre show. Hannah ended up interning at her favorite record label, Kill Rock Stars, and creepoly reports on details of their lives, like what Slim Moon was wearing, and how Tobi Vail would visit the doctor frequently. Both Jolie and Hannah write about their struggles and experiences with body image, eating disorders, girl-on-girl hat, and other feminist issues. My favorite part is the (not really) embarrassing pictures of the authors as teenagers. This might be a good read to knock down to that younger sibling who is going through those troublesome teenage tribulations...or maybe thats you. Read up, little sister!
since when is anorexia cool?
that is so fucked up.
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