Catalyst of Insanity TO Girl's blog: "messed up life"

mean nothing these days things r just getting so hard on me i feel vary on my own and i dont always like it i hate that i have to feel this way cuz i memeber whne the world cared more and i was a better person then cuz i wanted to be these things jsut seem to happen to me there not good at all they hurt me i hate to hurt i hate to feel like things r not gonna be better i dont know i just dont like howi feel i dont like the fear and the regret and howi seem to drown in the day to day now

it broke my heart the day u put me on the out side

it broke my heart the day u put me on the out side

it broke my heart the day u put me on the out side

These are my thoughts AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH silly girl lol omg omg omg i made a mess i did it to my self but thats it i am done so done with it U go away and u know who r u omg i cant belive i was ever the fool that would talk to u and let u in not only that but lettting others get so close so fast god i muyst have slipped up somewhere this time i am just beside my self angry right now AHHHHHHHH There will be no more i am done i quit i not bothering any longer and i cant belive it too me this long to get this thru my head

i wanna i sorry i wasnmt there and i sorry that i didnt care sorry for the way pushed and i sorry for the way i looked that i'm not as strong as used to be cant see to shake that vibe something wrong with me this time and maybe not always them seems like it wasnt him and i paint my self perfect trying hard not to be a wreak i wanna be what they need anyone but me seem to my self but i cant find someone else i dont know who to be i dont know who is me she got lost along the way and there really nothing i can say but i sorry i wasnt there i sorry i dont know care sorry i cant be me sorry sometimes i am to blind to see int he morning i look in the mirror trying to see something clear i look my self in the eyes i dont know that girl by my side i hate to be a lie but i dont know how to get by i paint me perfect everyday trying to be all the ways everthing they expect of me but i cant seem to find my self i lost in someone else ' it might be time to be alone i need to find home when i was a lil girl i used to cry screaming calling for someone to be by my side no one ever came and i just wanna go home i still cry that way i'm sorry

So ya i feelin much more up today i found this song a few weeks ago and forgot about it till i got a lil minder ... i found it funny well anyways u should all listen to it its making me feel stronger and happyer and better http://cherrytap.com/stashEntry.php?stashId=1117199&bl=1 go hear it I'm over your lies And I'm over your games I'm over you asking me when you know I'm not ok You call me at night And I pick up the phone And though you've be tellin' me, I know you're not alone Oh, and that's why Your eyes.. I'm over it Your smile.. I'm over it Realized.. I'm over it I'm over it I'm over [CHORUS:] Wanting you to be wanting me No, that ain't no way to be How I feel Read my lips Because I'm so over (I'm so) Moving on, and it's my time You never were a friend of mine Hurt at first A little bit But now I'm so over I'm so over it I'm over your hands And I'm over your mouth Trying to drag me down And fill me with self doubt Oh, and that's why Your world.. I'm over it So sure.. I'm over it I'm not your girl I'm over it I'm over it I'm over [CHORUS:] Wanting you to be wanting me No, that ain't no way to be How I feel Read my lips Because I'm so over (I'm so) Moving on, and it's my time You never were a friend of mine Hurt at first A little bit But now I'm so over So over It I'm so over it Oh, oh Don't call Don't come by Ain't no use, don't ask me why You'll never change There'll be no more cryin' in the rain Oh, oh oh I'm over it [CHORUS:] Wanting you to be wanting me No, that ain't no way to be How I feel Read my lips Because I'm so over (I'm so) Moving on, and it's my time You never were a friend of mine Hurt at first A little bit But now I'm so over it I'm so over it I'm over it [CHORUS:] Wanting you to be wanting me No, that ain't no way to be How I feel Read my lips Because I'm so over (I'm so) Moving on, and it's my time You never were a friend of mine Hurt at first A little bit But now I'm so over it

its really weird its like when u start to see stuff and just have to take it for what it is ... it kinda sucks but thats ok i guess .. it just reaslly sucks when u see ppl woth out he rose glasses and everthing u thought was wrong .... and its like what u think now pisses u off but thats how it is ... its like y is it that way u dont know but u see how one sided it is its like well if someone cared they would do this and they always seem to come short of what u need and expect so u cant just keep trying to make them in ur head the way u want u hjave to look at there actions and not over look the lil thijngs that u find un excusible u cant forget those things u never would take b4 and takle them now just cuz u wish things were differnt and it really pisses u off when they let u down and u know thjey alays will and its like wow u have to stop trying to see things in a differnt like realize what u need and what u want r not happening at all so is there a point

Not to happy right now see things never change and i ready to get my head out of the clouds and deal with whats there Nothing

about a time lonmg ago well one that feels that way just the same when this girl could feel loved and adored ever week hour minute counted down to the second waiting to have to hold to be with slowly i see things trun it hurts me that u dont seem to look at me where has it gone the love i remember when y would say it all the time now even at the good bye is it there no it seems most of everthing these days is gone i will give it back that is what u want right thats all u want right cuz if it wasnt that way u would say i love u 2