I don’t know why I picked this day of all days to vent this out of my system once and for all. I am a mother of 3 beautiful girls, when I met their father all was wonderful, until he started his drinking and staying out all night with his friends. Then it became his co-workers after work. From there it became some chick he met at work. When he stopped coming home and stopped caring I figured that was probably a good way to say its over. I was with him for 9 years. He is the father of all three of my children and now believe it or not we are pretty good friends..... Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t be able to live in the same house with him again or even the same state w/o killing him but since e are now 3000 miles apart I figure all is good and move on with my life. Next up would be an older man I met online and had a halfway serious relationship with until he decides to tell me he’s going to stay with his wife and make things better.... well now wasn’t that fun.
For a while I kind of drifted in love limbo.. not really looking or even wanting anyone to love me when I found the most perfect man. Again online, we talked for quite a long time before we even met. This time I actually tried to set him up with a friend. but that didn’t work. We talked for about 6 months before we even mentioned meeting. I was going to meet up with a bunch of the females from the game system where we met. I was packing and heading to New Orleans for Mardi Gras and planning to meet up with him on my return flight. We did met up, in the Houston Airport, where I changed flights from one to another and he had a ticket on the flight from Houston to my home. We had talked about him coming out to visit to see how things would work out. It ended up that his few weeks stay turned into us getting married a year and a half later. All was wonderful and as far as I knew still was when I started noticing things that should have drawn up a red flag to me months before. He stopped coming to bed when I did. I work nights and so I was only home 3 nights a week anyways. He would stay up till who knows when talking to his friends and chatting with some female friend. Every time I got close enough to the computer his conversation with her would vanish. It was more like I didn’t exsist when he was on line. He joined a chat room that she was in and at one time asked me if I wantd to join it also. At the time we had only one desktop and one laptop computer. The Desk top was very slow and the games and graphics of this chat room would load very slow so I told him that it was ok I didnt ned to join. Later on after I started noticing him change I also joined the site. We purchased another laptop and I was able to get on the site also. When I did I noticed on his profile that no where did it say he was not only married but I thought happily. When I looked deeper into his profile I was noticing that this one woman was on his page more than anything else. Well I got curious, and looked up her information also. That was a big mistake. From everything I found out it seemed that she had no clue I was ever in the picture. To shorten things for the sake of those reading it seems that once again my heart was broken by a man who couldn’t tell the truth. I confronted him about this and he told me that yes he has deep feelings for her and that he wasn’t sure what to do. Is it always the one who give a chance for love the one who gets hurt? Moving ahead I guess he is still with her in the sense that they are a couple even if they don’t live in the same place. I wonder if she knows the things he has said to her were first said to me? Or that the whole time he was talking to her he was lieing through his teeth. I don’t plan on giving out any names because one or the other is also on this site and I will let him live with the guilt of breaking my heart and leave her to the gullible non knowing that I was even in the picture.
~~~~~Onyx~~~~~
