BigBen65's blog: "life"

I am still suprised by peoples doubt of their mortality. Deep in our minds we know death will come but we are scared and morose when the prospect of it creeps close through older loved ones getting sick.

I have made it a point to try to not stress about too many things and try to enjoy the little snippets of happiness that break through the dense clouds of a miserable existence. For existence is what it is..when u spend 75% of your day working then u have no life.

I have accepted my mortality..I have even thought about the premature emergence of it..but my harbinger of death will come when it is time and until then i want to be able to say man i had some good times.

Why is it that some women will not realize that sometimes what u give up is the best thing for you? Yet they r still on the search for greener pastures and what they THINK they r missing.There is no proverbial MR. RIGHT. There is only Mr. Right for me which is obtained through compromise,communication,intimacy and sheer determination. Some women expect to find their "dream man" who will do EVERTYTHING for them and they will live happily ever after. But remember: everything changes! Women always complain that men change and they don't realize they change themselves and normally men respond to those changes. So before u accuse your man of not being romantic anymore; try to look at what you might have changed to affect that( I did say try, cause it's not easy).Life is not constant. There are many curves and pitfalls in life and adjustments have to be made aka compromise. Women need to remember that men need as much as women do. We just try to conform to society's stereotypes of being macho and solid. However we are still capable of mistakes,frustation and moments of weakness. That is when we need support,but the same stereotype prevents us from asking for help. Some intuition is needed on your part to anticipate and just act without us asking. Then we get to the 'friend'. The one who always knows what to say and agrees with you. Women get caught in that trap not realizing that this 'friend' may not have the same responsibilities or be burdened with the same problems as your current or the estranged one. If your 'friend' is single then that should be a red flag. If he is all that then would he choose some one that already had kids if he wasn't trying to ease his way in for an easy lay? How convenient that he broke up with his girlfriend so soon and especially if he was chiling at your place most of the time? But enter the typical scenario: you start dating everything is euphoric; butterflies in the stomach and cute pet names for each other. But in time as all things will change rears its ugly head and the facade wears thing and the real person emerges from behind their mask. arguments start and if there is no compromise either then things fall apart. A new relationship is good in the beginning: taking pictures and decorating them with hearts, writing poems etc.Everyone is still trying to impress the other so everyone is on their best behavior. Just don' forget who was there for you as the faces of your "friends" changed and who listened as you told of how their true characters emerged and shocked you. The estranged and despised one was there.When so called friends, neighbors and supposed best friends let you down, who was there? Then they got forgiven and u started hanging out with them again, but the estranged one was kept in his state because you still wanted to chase the dream of mr right insteaqd of having the courage and the drive to stay committed and compromise. You found it easy to make excuses instead of the commitment.That is how I know that it was not taken seriously if u lacked the will to continue. Then you did not want it bad enough. Just remember all things you thought were lacking could have been worked out and worked on through communication, compromise and determination. One truth is certain: if u really want something then nothing will stand in you way or deter you.

Why do women always say that a guy who is 'cheap' won't get any but a guy who pulls out all the stops and goes to "Jared" is guaranteed. What happened to the days when you had sex because you liked the guy and not what the guy can get u? Sex for monetary gain is a ho-ish attribute, so ladies go out and fuck cause you're horny. Amen

Women need to understand that men and women view sex differently. With women sex is associated with emotions while with men it can be either emotional or just physical. Women tend to associate sex with love while men are able to either combine the two or keep them seperate. Women who are sexually free should not be considered ho's. The definition of a ho is someone who has sex for monetary gain. There are a lot of women who wait for a man to spend money and take them to expensive places before they give up the cooch. That is monetary gain. The cooch was given to women free of charge so why do a lot of women charge for it. Why give in to society's stigma and pressure saying that it is mandatory to wait at least three months before indulging? If a just wants sex from you then he will wait to get it and all that does is make you more upset because you had false hope of a relationship and you used all that time denying yourself and getting feelings for this person.It's your coocchie! Use it when you feel like it. Another point. Women ,please stop trying to train your man. He is not a dog, so quit trying to use sex as a reward or as a weapon. It only creates dissent and improves the likelihood of him cheating.Most men will accept you for all your flaws so accept us as we are.

I feel sometimes that a lot of women take themselves too seriously and are often hung up about the wrong things. If a man or ur man has no problem with ur body then why should u? Another thing is that u should give guys more credit. Sure there are a lot of assholes out there and there are a lot of bitches. If a guy has been in a relationship with u for a long time then whenever u have sex there is an emotional bond that gets renewed. If goes far deeper than just wanting to bust a nut. Sure men have the ability to have random sex without attachments, but in a relationship things r different. Your willingness to please your man without excuses and surprise him will boost his self esteem and mood and most times than not he will be more receptive to your emotional needs. Remember men are hardwired more physically than emotionally. There has to be compromise; don't expect a man to continuously be there emotionally for u if u withdraw his physical-emotional blend of comfort. Alot of times women just let things get to them and don't realize that it is actually a compliment in disguise. If ur man wants u constantly them that means u probably got tha bomb diggity. Keep him satisfied and he will keep u satisfied and he won't go anywhere. Most women who expect not to do much for their man but he should be there for them are the ones who start looking elsewhere for the FRESH, NEW, DIFFERENT attention because u claim that ur man doesn't care and all he wants is sex.. Men are more physical creatures. Even if u getthe initial attention from some other guy it is because he is still trying to impress u and get well what else sex. And most times after these romeos sweet talk u they cut their slice of the cake and vanish. It is much better to stick with the one u know and work out ways to regain that freshness. Take this from one who has been there and tried but this is a two person deal and if both are not willing then u will be where i am today... Slightly bitter and now will become obsessed with the idea of just getting money so life can be enjoyed for it is very short indeed. "A feast was made for entertaining and wine maketh merry, but money answereth all things" -The Bible