Kookster's blog: "Kooky Nutt"

Cuzzin Willy will be over late this afternoon to spend the weekend. That gives Cooky the weekend off so he can visit his family and friends. I don't have any plans. Willy called me and said we would have tacos tonight. He is bringing more cigars and booze, too. A few of the strippers at the Saloon are going to come by fer a late night swim in my indoor pool. That will be after midnight when they finish their acts. Looks like it is gonna be Nookie Night in Hillywood! The Kookster is up fer it!

I like cruising around the internet. It reminds of the times of cruising fer babes. Only thar is a lot more babes on here then out thar. Guess what..? The Military Jeeps have been patrolling the backroads on the Mountain today. Obviously, they are searching fer something. My guess is it would be the giant coyotes. Well, I think that is a sure bet. Sheriff Earl came out this morning nosing around. He would not admit he was looking fer tracks. But he was looking down at the ground around the Hillywood Complex. I don't think he lost a ring. Chief Seeking Beaver phoned me and said two of his braves had seen the 4 giant coyotes in the woods before sunrise. I feel better now. At least, Cooky and me ain't seeing things.

I made some phone calls this morning and apparently no one else had seen the giant coyotes that Cooky and I saw last night. Cooky went outside the game and saw no tracks. What is up with that..? Elephant sized coyotes should leave tracks. I know it was below freezing last night but thar should have been tracks. I would chalk this up to me seeing things agin. But Cooky saw it, too. Course, He was smoking weed last night. I was drinking booze. But still... How could we both see the same damn thing? Tis a mystery!

I am watching a dvd. It's called "Dog Soldiers." It's about these soldiers who are stuck in a house with werewolves all around the outside. Pretty spooky! Especially, after seeing the giant coyotes. But I will watch this movie. I got the shivers-chivers! But I will leave you tonight with the wild cry of Kooky Nutt... "FubbaFoo! FubbaFoo!" FubbaFoo is my catch phrase! What does it mean? I dunno, but I like saying it!

I heard the shrill of coyotes. I peered outside! I had to rub my eyes in disbelief. I saw 4 coyotes that was bigger than elephants! I thought I was seeing things agin. Cooky was checking on me. He saw the giant coyotes, too. All he could do was make faces and say words like "Eeeeeh!" I don't know sign language. Cooky is a deaf mute. He can utter sounds but that is about it! He was making all sorts of signs with his arms and hands. Then Cooky ran back inside. The giant coyotes were outside the security fence. They could not get in. I grabbed my cell phone and woke up Sheriff Roscoe Earl. I tole him about the giant coyotes. He gave me a cussing and hung up. So much fer the law. The fat Sheriff don't never believe me! I reckon I should not have lied to him all them other times. The coyotes left and vanished back in the woods. Cricketshat! No one is safe around here with giant coyotes on the prowl. Chalk up another one fer the bubbling toxic wastes! I am certain the toxics somehow mutated the coyotes into giants. I can only hope everyone is inside and safe.

I heard the shrill of coyotes. I peered outside! I had to rub my eyes in disbelief. I saw 4 coyotes that was bigger than elephants! I thought I was seeing things agin. Cooky was checking on me. He saw the giant coyotes, too. All he could do was make faces and say words like "Eeeeeh!" I don't know sign language. Cooky is a deaf mute. He can utter sounds but that is about it! He was making all sorts of signs with his arms and hands. Then Cooky ran back inside. The giant coyotes were outside the security fence. They could not get in. I grabbed my cell phone and woke up Sheriff Roscoe Earl. I tole him about the giant coyotes. He gave me a cussing and hung up. So much fer the law. The fat Sheriff don't never believe me! I reckon I should not have lied to him all them other times. The coyotes left and vanished back in the woods. Cricketshat! No one is safe around here with giant coyotes on the prowl. Chalk up another one fer the bubbling toxic wastes! I am certain the toxics somehow mutated the coyotes into giants. I can only hope everyone is inside and safe.

My Moron Mama visited me today while I was taking a nap. She tole me some new things that freaked me out. More of those crazy dreams. But I believe they are the real deal. It would explain some things. Like, why is a 46 year old man still addicted to sex..? I mean, I should be slowing down. Not so, according to mama. She claims Moron Men only reach their sexual peak at age 55. Damn! I still have a ways to go before I peak. Mama called me a Lust Varmit. I have been called worse names. She asked me why I found some women so wild about me and other women would not give me the time of day..? I said, "Human Nature?" Nope! Not according to mama. I have a horny fluid within my body that some women cannot resist. One touch of my skin will make some earth women want me, while others will have no response to it. But thar is a part in my Moron half that feeds off the lusty desires of women. I need sex to stay alive. Weird stuff! Mama sez, "The women who have sex with you will always have a love fer you! They cannot resist your call." Sheesh! What a power to have! And to think... I thought I was just lucky! But one thing I will be careful about... Is who I shake hands with of the female species. Hmmm... Remind me not to shake hands with ugly women.

My Moron Mama visited me today while I was taking a nap. She tole me some new things that freaked me out. More of those crazy dreams. But I believe they are the real deal. It would explain some things. Like, why is a 46 year old man still addicted to sex..? I mean, I should be slowing down. Not so, according to mama. She claims Moron Men only reach their sexual peak at age 55. Damn! I still have a ways to go before I peak. Mama called me a Lust Varmit. I have been called worse names. She asked me why I found some women so wild about me and other women would not give me the time of day..? I said, "Human Nature?" Nope! Not according to mama. I have a horny fluid within my body that some women cannot resist. One touch of my skin will make some earth women want me, while others will have no response to it. But thar is a part in my Moron half that feeds off the lusty desires of women. I need sex to stay alive. Weird stuff! Mama sez, "The women who have sex with you will always have a love fer you! They cannot resist your call." Sheesh! What a power to have! And to think... I thought I was just lucky! But one thing I will be careful about... Is who I shake hands with of the female species. Hmmm... Remind me not to shake hands with ugly women.

Cuzzin Willy will be over late this afternoon to spend the weekend. That gives Cooky the weekend off so he can visit his family and friends. I don't have any plans. Willy called me and said we would have tacos tonight. He is bringing more cigars and booze, too. A few of the strippers at the Saloon are going to come by fer a late night swim in my indoor pool. That will be after midnight when they finish their acts. Looks like it is gonna be Nookie Night in Hillywood! The Kookster is up fer it!

People ask me. "Kooky, why do you write all these stupid blogs?" My answer, "Because you read them!" Actually, I must write them per the terms of my house arrest. The Shrinks think it is good fer me to express myself through these blogs. It should benefit my recovery. If one can ever recover from mental illness. I am not convinced any method of treatment can cure insanity. Perhaps I am mistaken. I think not. I have researched the subject. Thar are some medications that can work in concert with other forms of treatment. But then... I am not insane! I am an actor. Remember that! Don't worry... I will not allow you to forget!