Vicki's blog: "In the head!"

created on 07/05/2009 | http://fubar.com/in-the-head/b302516

posted on 07/05/2009&nbs-07:00;@&nbs-07:00;04:07&nbs-07:00;pm

An Early Angel
http://fubar.com/an-early-angel/b302516-1041755

This article was published. Ranked #1 for birthstories.

An early angel

In the winter of 1991, some very significant events would unfold and ultimately change my life forever. I was about five months pregnant with my second child. The winter was blistering cold, and I ended up with pneumonia. Thinking that I only had a cold, I waited to go to the doctor's office. I waited too long. I ended up in critical condition in the hospital's intensive care unit.

At twenty-four weeks pregnant; I had stopped breathing entirely, and a respirator supported me. I remember waking occasionally to feel a cold plastic cover over me that I know now was intended to bring my body temperature down. I also remember my sister prying my eyes open to show me a picture of some tiny and ill looking baby. In the state I was in, I did not connect my sister's words with the idea that the baby in the photo was mine.

As the days passed and my sister worked harder to wake me, I began to focus a bit better on what it was she was telling me about that photo. I panicked and reached to touch my stomach. The baby was gone. I finally realized entirely that the sick little baby in that photo was mine. Suddenly she appeared more angelic than ill. I would name her Angelia and I would call her Angel.

After ten days, I was able to move out of the intensive care unit and into a private room on the maternity floor. The neonatal intensive care unit where Angel stayed was just down the hall from my room. Another week passed and, I was only able to look into the window at her. Recovering from pneumonia, I was a risk to enter the neonatal unit. Angel was born with pneumonia as well, and she was not ready to breathe on her own, so she too had the support of a respirator.

At three pounds, six ounces and fifteen inches long, Angel was a fighter from the very beginning. When I could finally go into the neonatal intensive care unit, I had to wear a mask, gloves and a gown, and I could only touch her through the holes in the incubator. Even though I could not hold her yet, I sat in the unit with her, and I made sure she heard my voice. She looked so fragile and alone in that incubator. I would even push her formula through her feeding tube rather than leaving the little machine to do it. I think that it was my way of bonding with her when I could not touch her. It helped me cope better to be able feed her myself.

In 1991, the doctors told me that twenty-four weeks was about as early as it gets for survival, but Angel was strong. Fifteen years later, the viability age has declined, and babies born as early as twenty-three weeks can survive outside the womb with a fifty percent chance of survival. Survival at this early stage however puts the child at a higher risk of brain damage and developmental delays ("Premature birth." Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia.).

I tend to believe that infants need the touch of their mother's right from birth in order to form secure attachments. Many of the parents that I attended a support group with said that their preemies were often fussy and very hard to please. Angel was hard to comfort and I believe there is a direct link with her premature birth and the lack of touch and bonding every baby needs.

Although Angel has a mild learning disability, and struggled in her first five years with respiratory problems, she grew perfectly. I was one of the lucky parents of an early angel.

Vicki Sinclair

Report as NSFW [?]

view comments

posted on 07/05/2009&nbs-07:00;@&nbs-07:00;04:07&nbs-07:00;pm

Guiding our youth: Mentor's matter
http://fubar.com/guiding-our-youth-mentor-s-matter/b302516-1041752

Published for the promotion of youth guidance and mentoring. Also a winning article.

Guiding our youth: Mentor's matter

Having children as a teen, is by far one of the most difficult stories for me to communicate. I, just as my mother before me, was at a young and vulnerable time in my youth, when I conceived my first child at age 15. I was a teenager, angry at the world for what I believed to be a miserable life.

Raised in poverty by young parents who ran away together from their own past lives; I grew up lost and alone. These experiences however have given me an insight into several factors. I do not feel burdened by my past. I believe in a true sense that my past has planned for my future. I am focused on helping others like me, and in particular, I hope to work with youth.

Today, I have come to a point in my life where I have learned the realities of several aspects of a difficult life. I feel rather experienced in the area of teen pregnancy. The issues leading to it, the issues young mothers will face, and many of the hardships they will endure.

Teen pregnancy, the causes, and the effects, are goals I wish to focus on in my studies. I strongly believe that my own personal experience, and the fact that I myself have over come so much, will be a precious teaching tool in my future. They say empathy is putting your self in the shoes of another to understand what they are feeling. I believe experience and heart places empathy at the top of my being.

Although I still carry much emotion, I whole-heartedly feel that detailed connections with others are necessary to not only the soul, but many times, for continued learning and growth. I continue to feel that with my own passion for communication and human connections; I will not only flourish into everything I was born to be, but I will also enable others to strive toward healing connections in their own worlds.

My future goals are not limited to the focus on teen pregnancy alone. I yearn to be a helping hand to abused and neglected children who try to grow up in a world where all too often, no one is there to guide them with heart in the process of life. I want to help the children who are lonely and sad. The ones who are born to addicted parents and the ones who do not get the opportunities they watch other children thrive in.

Working with children, as in mentoring programs, can be a detrimental link for lost and lonely children. I personally would like to see more of our college's offer public programs such as the big brother-big sister program that connects college students with local youth. This program is a mentoring relationship, where college student's can be a big part of a child or adolescent's life.

The majority of teen parents come from lonely and or abusive homes. Often, they reach out to whoever will love them and provide the attention they desire. If there were more youth exposure to caring people who could introduce them to better ways and guide them beyond their loneliness, I strongly believe our youth would have more of a chance to make better choices to feed their hearts.

Income class also plays a vital role for our youth. I have seen several very good and intelligent children who are continuously denied opportunities that would give them added personal value and better life chances to thrive in society. They often lack in these rights because their parents cannot afford the better things. It seems to me that life isn't very fair to our youth in need, and all too often, our youth are aimlessly driven to places they really wouldn't have chosen if they were born to better life chances.

I have explored in depth, my past as well as all the factors within it that ultimately places me in an income and social class where I choose not to be. Because of the mentor's I have had and still am lucky enough to look to; I have come to believe that even the paths that begin in turmoil do not end there. Human development is a constant and life long process that enables us to continuously change and evolve into what we will. I believe in the support of three necessary factors of this growth especially for child and adolescent times. Mentors are very important in this process because parents do not always provide. I believe in love, knowledge, and in God. Do you have the heart to be a mentor and make an impact on even one child who needs you?

Vicki Sinclair

Report as NSFW [?]

view comments

posted on 07/05/2009&nbs-07:00;@&nbs-07:00;04:07&nbs-07:00;pm

Adolescents & Poverty
http://fubar.com/adolescents-poverty/b302516-1041751

Published, #1 ranking article

Adolescents & Poverty

The effects of poverty on adolescents can be not only devastating but last a lifetime for teens. More often than not, poverty is carried from generation to generation. Parents raising families in poverty are burdened by economic stress. The emotional environment in the home and between family members is often harsh and lacking in emotional support. Depression for the parents usually brings on marital conflict and the children may suffer emotionally and or physically. Abuse and neglect are present in the homes of many families living in poverty.

Youth living in poverty generally have lower grades than those in higher income classes and the rates for dropouts are highest within this income class. Their self-esteem is low. They suffer with depression and other mental health issues as well as having more health problems than the norm. Youth in poverty also have higher rates of juvenile delinquency and crime records. The statistics on drug and alcohol use is high as well. Teen pregnancy has also proved to be a major concern among our teens living in poverty. All of these factors model into the adolescent's adulthood and create yet another generation much the same.

At the current time, 17% of children and their families live in poverty. They usually live in bad neighborhoods and positive role models are either non-existent or out of reach for these youth. There are several ideas known for addressing these problems both within the family and in the community. Programs to aid families are often not sought out or desired by the parent(s), and unless intervention is mandated, they are not obligated to seek any help for their children or their families well being. This is why it is so important for the community to reach out to help these young people overcome what they are forced to live.

Since good majorities of parents living in poverty isolate themselves and avoid the more community related involvement, it robs their children of not only the will through self-esteem but knowledge of social interaction within the positive aspects of the community to make a difference.

Civic activism can guide these youth into an area of life with new meaning and self worth. The focus on social injustice, just as they live, can provide our teens with a purpose and place in society. Along with that, they gain a sense of self-awareness in discovering their own growing values and belief systems. Erikson argues, "Adolescent development comprises a new set of identification processes, both with significant persons and with ideological forces, which give importance to individual life by relating it to a living community and an ongoing history." Mentors or role models are those significant persons.

Erikson Stages apply:

Stage 4 - Industry vs. Inferiority
To bring a productive situation to completion is an aim, which gradually supersedes the whims and wishes of play.

The fundamentals of technology are developed
To lose the hope of such "industrious" association may pull the child back to the more isolated, less conscious familial rivalry of the Oedipal time
The child can become a conformist and thoughtless slave whom others exploit.

Stage 5 - Identity vs. Role Confusion (or "Diffusion")
The adolescent is newly concerned with how they appear to others.
Ego identity is the accrued confidence that the inner sameness and continuity prepared in the past are matched by the sameness and continuity of one's meaning for others, as evidenced in the promise of a career.

The inability to settle on a school or occupational identity is disturbing.

The fact that civic activism can be a great youth development strategy is not in question. What is though is the willingness of role models to guide our youth in need. People who are willing to develop long and strong relationships with these teens who have been marginalized or isolated, leading to lesser life chances are actually very scarce.

Adolescence is the last real opportunity to reach teens in need, before they will most likely, repeat the pattern in the next generation. For whatever reason, and there could be several, they are not getting what they need. They will turn to areas in life where they feel comfortable and accepted. Sadly, this is usually a place where they will do what it takes to belong. Without community acceptance and guidance, it will ultimately end in crime, welfare dependency, and teen parenting that will repeat this cycle of poverty and lesser life chances for new generations.

Maybe you know of a teen that has lived with lesser life chances. How do you think they could benefit from a relationship with you? What could you offer them for guidance in social development? How much time would you be able to consistently offer even one youth in need of social and emotional support that they're not sure even exists because their family life suffers?

How much of yourself would you be willing to share for the good of one teen and for the good of society? We can and should ask ourselves these questions. Although these teens may struggle, they have not caused their own poverty, and they deserve all the chances in life that any other child gets, even when their parents fail to provide that chance.

Vicki Sinclair

Report as NSFW [?]

view comments

posted on 07/05/2009&nbs-07:00;@&nbs-07:00;04:07&nbs-07:00;pm

My Grandson...Love him!
http://fubar.com/my-grandson-love-him/b302516-1041748

Videos I did from his pictures and other short video clips.

Dustin James

September 26, 2007

10:52 pm 8 lbs 5.7 oz. 20 in. long

Report as NSFW [?]

view comments

posted on 07/05/2009&nbs-07:00;@&nbs-07:00;04:07&nbs-07:00;pm

Photo Slideshows
http://fubar.com/photo-slideshows/b302516-1041745

Old photos of Jax and Vicki events
..

6 Hours at the Glen
..

Pimp & Ho’s Theme Party
..

Card Board Boat Regatta (build-n-race)

Report as NSFW [?]

view comments

posted on 07/05/2009&nbs-07:00;@&nbs-07:00;03:07&nbs-07:00;pm

Beliefs, Values, and Clinical Gestalt with Individual’s and Systems
http://fubar.com/beliefs-values-and-clinical-gestalt-with-individuals-and-sys/b302516-1041718

Beliefs, Values, and Clinical Gestalt with Individual’s and Systems

Vicki Sinclair

May 16, 2009

Communication Skills for the Human Services Professional

As the learning process expands in the field of human services, there are many aspects that need continuous personal reflection from any person who will potentially be placed among the world of people helping people. It is important to know the strengths and the weaknesses present within our value systems in all areas of each population to be served as human services professionals.

Being aware of individual personal values and beliefs, adds a reality in the population that a clinician can or cannot effectively work with. Personal reflection about potential problems that may interfere with our belief systems in a professional manner may be determining factors in both the methods we may use as well as whether or not we are able to take a particular case at all. When a clinician is confronted with a personal bias or ethical dilemma that hinders a genuine, neutral approach; their clinical repose may be compromised at the expense of the client. An appropriate clinical repose sets an atmosphere of comfort, free from the clinician’s discomforts and anxieties.

In order for human services workers to successfully address problematic issues with clientele, a non oppressive atmosphere and relationship must be established between the clinician and the client. When a clinician enters the helping realm, he or she must provide a neutral and safe ground, free of any hierarchal structure and personal bias (Dietz, 2000).

Reflecting on my own values and beliefs, I have come to the conclusion that one particular population and or situation disturbs me. Abortion and the issues that unfold within my personal value system are harder for me to justify than any other. I find that while I may be able to verbally offer neutral ground, I feel this subject passionately enough to lack the ability to disguise my personal bias in my body language and facial expressions. Knowing this after self evaluation gives me an idea on potential cases to avoid for the clients best interest.

Religion is another area within most people. There is either a belief or disbelief, and our values on religious issues may interfere with our abilities to properly address our client’s needs. We need to be careful not to push our beliefs onto our clients or disregard their beliefs even when they are not ours. The article, Fundamentalism and Social Work describes a scenario where a Jewish woman was referred to a nonsectarian (her choice) agency for counseling services. When the woman went to the agency for her appointment, she was met by a clinician wearing a big silver cross around her neck (Dinerman, 2003).

The Jewish woman specifically chose to be counseled by an agency that had no religious orientation in order to avoid any issues concerning her own religion. She left the agency immediately because she was so put off by the clinician wearing the cross. This shows how important it is that we take the time and be sure we do not reflect our personal religious beliefs in any form while we are in our professional setting.

In reality, as professional clinicians, it is not always possible to avoid situations, even when we feel it’s the best way around it. Knowing our individual behaviors, such as facial expressions and body language when something triggers our morale can help us greatly improve our ability to provide our clients with the necessary neutral ground that the helping relationship requires.

An academic journal report called Learning Our Way through Welfare Reform addresses the important need for social work to address not only individual problems, but instead look at the larger system contexts to address the change process from the triggering forces. Some of the key points or assumptions addressed in this publication are, “Poverty, addiction, and violence are co-conspirators, rarely working alone.” If the larger system contexts are failing such as employment availability or placement, the downward slide is anticipated. When you look at addictions and crime rates or any other societal issues at a personal individual level, you will always be able to trace it to a larger systematic source or reason (Woolis, Nakashian, Fox, James, Gephart, and Marsick, 2001).

Taking a look into my own personal issues surrounding my life, each issue has a broader source that led to smaller problems demanding immediate attention. A larger systems context that has been greatly affecting my life since my moving between NY and AL has been the availability of jobs. I left an established, decent paying position to relocate to Alabama where my mother and siblings have been for several years now (I missed my mom). I decided to leave NY at that point because my crew at the place I worked was getting a layoff for 1 to 4 months.

I stayed for 8 months, and I decided that as a single mother, I wasn’t able to really make it in Alabama financially, and problems I had long since forgotten between siblings were an issue as well. I came back to NY where my friends were very abruptly with only my last pay check and a helpful friend offering her home until I could get on my feet.

I did get a minimum wage job with very few hours right away so that helped, and two weeks later I got a second minimum wage job. The hours between the jobs conflicted, so I let the first job go hoping to get more hours from the second. I also picked up cleaning jobs from friends of friends that I actually was able to make decent cash doing, and during hours I was available. I was able to collect up enough money within a month to get into my own apartment. It is a lot smaller than we need, but with the money and job situation what it is, its all that I can possibly do alone right now.

The larger system context being lack of jobs, has made it very difficult to get on my feet, and therefore has made several other impacts on all our daily lives. The larger system contexts people have to work and live by are like the center of a spider web in our daily lives. The smaller, everyday issues that stem from the larger system context can be the ones that make us or break us, and this is the concept that provides careers for human service providers. The general human services goal is to help people through the immediate contexts in their lives stemming from the larger system contexts which we may also have a hand in changing through advocating for change in broader societal aspects.

References

Dietz, C. (Fall 2000). RESHAPING CLINICAL PRACTICE FOR THE NEW MILLENNIUM. Journal of Social Work Education, 36(3), 503-520. Retrieved May 15, 2009, Education Research Complete database.

Dinerman, Miriamb (2003).Fundamentalism and Social Work. Affilia 18: 249-253

Woolis, Diana D, Mary Nakashian, Lynda Fox, Susan James, Martha A. Gephart and Victoria J. Marsick (June 2001). "Learning Our Way through Welfare Reform." Policy & Practice of Public Human Services. 59. 2 :28. Opposing Viewpoints Resource Center. Gale. Apollo Library. 16 May. 2009.

Report as NSFW [?]

view comments

posted on 07/05/2009&nbs-07:00;@&nbs-07:00;02:07&nbs-07:00;pm

Support & Education For Teen Parents
http://fubar.com/support-education-for-teen-parents/b302516-1041713

Community Resources

Support and Education for Teen Parents

Vicki Sinclair

April 2009

According to the article, Baby Think It Over ®: Using role-play to prevent teen pregnancy, teen pregnancy rates have recently began to fall for American teens, but still the United States remains to have the highest rates in the industrial world. In Canada, teen pregnancy is on the rise, and in 1996, 45.4 females per 1000, ages 15-21 years were pregnant. Even with the rise in Canada, the United States in 1996 reported 83.6 per 1000 pregnant females between the same ages.

Clearly there remain gaps somewhere along the way in educating adolescents on issues pertaining to safe sex, abstinence, and the realities of sex becoming an unplanned pregnancy. When we see so many youth having babies, and so few resources working to help them through many detrimental areas of life and growth; we need to question whether the programs and funds are in the right areas to actually make a difference. Baby Think It Over ®: Using role-play to prevent teen pregnancy discusses different prevention programs that have been in effect with little or no results as well as the study of a program that utilizes role-play as a way to offer an attitude change from their current “it can’t happen to me” views.

No matter which way we view it; teen pregnancy is very real and very near. There are programs for teens every where. Each program usually varies in one way or another. The area of N.Y that I live in seems to base their teen parent efforts more on referral, parenting, and immediate help needs such as housing, diapers and food. If our young parents are motivated enough and willing enough, they will reach out for all the help direction they are given. Although this help is necessary, many times and in many teen parent programs, the advocates or social workers allow the teen parent to choose what area they think they need the most help in, and their main focus is set there.

Family-of-origin interaction and adolescent mothers’ potential for child abuse, is an article that lays out studies done with teen parents that measured their potential for child abuse. This article states that in 1986, an estimated one million children were abused in the United States. There are several different reasons that teen parents may become abusive to their children. My experience as both a teen parent and the mother of a teen parent leads me to look more toward family interactions, intergenerational abuse and isolation many teen parents feel.

I strongly believe that a look into family history as well as a strong, close nit support system is necessary first and foremost for teen parent programs. In my area of N.Y, there are no programs that focus on these areas of help and support. Currently we have an Equal Opportunity Program that has several different programs within it for equal opportunity purposes, and one small part of that is for teen parents. This program is designed more for education and training and offers no emotional support or counseling programs. The majority of teen parents who are getting counseling services are ordered by Social Services or the family court after problems have occurred in their parenting.

There is also a program specific for adolescent parents called “Help for Adolescent Parents” or HAP. HAP is a program that begins with childbirth classes and offers diapers, clothing, formula and referrals. They have recently begun to offer more in depth parenting classes as well. Another agency that focuses on teens is TASA or “Teenage Service Act.” TASA is a home based program that visits as needed, usually monthly and develops plans and goals with teens. They are more into advocacy and referral, seeing that the teens have the resources in place to meet their goals.

With all the agencies, advocates and referrals, teen parents can get what they need and also receive help and motivation for education and employment. I feel as though even with the amount of help and networking between agencies, there is a huge hole that is not being filled for what teen parents really need or depth and inner healing and growth. If all the resources and programs for teen parents were compiled into an intense treatment program with a supportive and stable family interaction program and peer support groups, I believe it would target more reality to the fact that it all starts n the family and usually stays in the family.

References

Baby Think It Over ®: Using role-play to prevent teen pregnancy, Jennifer W. Out and Kathryn D. Lafreniere, Adolescents. Roslyn Heights: Fall 2001. Vol.36, Iss. 143; pg. 571, 12 pgs. ..

Family-of-origin interaction and adolescent mothers’ potential for child abuse, Mona McCullough and Avarham Scherman. Adolescents. Rosyln Heights: Summer 1998. Vol. 33, Iss. 130; pg. 375, 10 pgs. ..

Report as NSFW [?]

view comments

posted on 07/05/2009&nbs-07:00;@&nbs-07:00;02:07&nbs-07:00;pm

My LiL Girls heart on my divorce
http://fubar.com/my-lil-girls-heart-on-my-divorce/b302516-1041711

For three years I have been separated from my husband and we have recently agreed on the divorce. My youngest daughter who is 12 didn't see alot of him until less than a year ago, so she chose to stay with him for a while and I agreed to let her give it a shot. She is torn now. Every little girl needs her mom, but she also loves and needs Dad. Although him and I get along and agree on whats best for the kids, she still feels the broken side of divorce.

Jessi gave me this video tonight telling me this song means alot to her right now and she is struggling at the moment not knowing where to be. Hits the heart like a train. I cried for an hour tonight seeing what we have done to our little girl.

If you have no kids...think about it. If you do have kids and still hang on to the whole family...keep feeling it! It matters before it ever happens.