Jonathan's blog: "Grandma Williams"

Today started out as a bad day. Two of the three places I had considered to move into backed out, it was raining when I woke, I stayed in bed way to long waiting for something that would not come. I got up and went for a Doner Sandwich (I find myself addicted now) and sat to read from a book called "The Lakota Way". I flipped open to a chapter entitled Fortitude. In was a traditional Lakota story of a young woman and her strength of fortitude and then personal stories of teh author describing his personal examples of fortitude shown by his Grandmother. It was then that it dawned on me that today is teh 6 year anniversary of my own Gransmothers passing in 2004. I came close to breaking down in that small little shadowed restaurant thinking of how much I missed her. So, in her memory, I will share a small story of my grandmothers fortitude.

Fortitude: strength of heart and mind

There is rarley a happy or stand out moment in my life that doesnt include my Grandmother Williams. She was the matriarch of my world. It was her word that was law. She always showered me with love and she knew how much she meant to me. If she didnt agree with something, I cahanged it. But no matter my mistakes or my victories, she always stood beside me and supported me lovingly. My Grandfather had passed away in 1979 and she had never remarried or dated since because her love of my grandfather was so strong. She only had one son, and in turn only one grandson in me. She stayed strong for me and my father for 25 years after my grandfather passed. The start of 2004, I had gone back to school. My grandmother was so proud of me for doing so, but she also became ill, so much so that on February 2nd she went into teh hospital and 2 weeks later was transfered to a home for therapy in teh hopes that she would regain teh strength to go home. I saw her ever day while she was there giving her as much support as she had shown me. no matter how difficult it was for her to be there,she always asked of my day and lead the conversation about me before she would tell me about how she was doing. Dispite her pain and sorrow,, she loved me enough that she didnt want me to see fully how bad things were. For 3 months I battled doctors, therapists, administrations, as well as attending 12 credit hours of college and a 40 hour work week. One sunday after a weekend of college hockey, work and my own beer league, she seemed bright and energetic. I sincerly though she had turned teh corner. We sat in her room eating, talking, and laughing. I went home to prepare for my finals that week, one due in two days. I awoke teh next morning to a call from teh home urging me to override my grandmothers wishes to not be sent back to teh hospital. I said I would be on my way, and within 15 minutes I was walking in teh doors. There my grandmother was on oxygen sunken and frail unlike how I had seen her just 12 hours before and I knew that today would be teh day. I walked in and held her hand. She turned and recognised me, the gleam in her eyes there once more and held my hand. And I did teh only thing that I could do. I leaned in and told her that everyting would be OK and that she need not worry about me or Dad anymore. That I loved her and I always will. Holding my hand, she slipped off to sleep, and she passed away 3 hours later. It was her fortitude that caused her to hold on. She didnt want to pass without knowing that I would be ok. It was her strength of heart that kept herthere even as my grandfather urged her to come into his arms again. As I think of fortitude, it is my grandmothers love that reminds me as an example of strength of heart which I strive every day.