Jonathan's blog: "Grandma Williams"

Happy belated Birthday Grandma. You are still so much a part of my life. Every day, you live through me as I work, baking desserts, pies, cheescakes, brulee's. There was no one more special to me than you. Your word was law. If you were displeased, dammit, I changed. I remember Lasagna on Thanksgiving, Fried Chicken on Christmas, and those Christmas cookies. God, you would think that Kroger sold their entire stock. She would bake for days only keeping some for herself and mostly her guests. She gave out trays of cookies to the church, health groups, family. The greatest compliment I took from your funeral was when Junior said he felt like family when he began recieving trays of your cookies each Christmas. I should have known that last Christmas when you didn't bake, that you knew. And it would be our last together. I have tried to keep the tradition up since you have been gone, using your recipies. The fig nut pinwheel is not right, i will keep working on that. After four long years of not speaking to mom, it was you who brought us together again and I thank you for that. Jackie has almost given birth to an entire soft ball team, and I still have yet to give you one, and I am sorry for that, but when I do, if I can show them even half the love you gave me, that child will be blessed. I miss your laughter, your voice, the way you said my name. There was no safer place on earth than your home or any as welcoming. I remember odd little things like when you asked me to fix your dashboard light because it was to dim. I remember you saying "Jon, I screwed with everything in that car! Every knob, every switch, every button. If there had been a man in there I probly would have screwed him too." I laughed so hard, I almost shut my fingers in the door walking outside. I remember when I went on that hockey trip with a 103 temprature. when I came home and was afraid to be home alone, you took me in at midnight and sat up while I lay unconcious for two days, feeding me, watching me. I remember baking with you, cooking with you. That was always our time. I remember sitting with you every day in the hospital and the nursing home. Even when we didn't say anything, you would twirl my goatee withyour finger. And that is all that you had to do. I knew that you loved me, and there was no place that I wanted to be beside there. Five years and the pain is still as fresh as the day I held your hand and watched you breath as you slowly slipped away. You almost passed the exact day as grandpa did so many years before. I just want you to know, I need to say it again. I love you, I miss you, and I will every day walk past your picture posted by my bedroom door and do my best to make you proud of me. I love you Grandma. Happy belated birthday.