The wife stands in front of a mirror."you know, dear," she says, "I look in the mirror & I see an old woman, face wrinkled, fat legs & flabby arms"
She turns to her husb & says, "Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself."
He says in a soft voice, "your eye sight is perfect"
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Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U Continue to do so.
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Wife : Honey ...... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ..??
Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiration date.
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Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
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A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time."
The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
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A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
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A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
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WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
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