DoctorJERMx's blog: "this is my brain on...line."

ive sat here on fubar hours and hours at a time for too long.

with myspace and facebook and all the other "social sites" as well.

i have met people in real life via the sites and ive even sold artwork to friends as well. yet...i dont believe i can believe the reality of it all.

i can photoshop a painting or picture to look like "art" but its not human.

a human makes it yes...but theres no paint mess or hands on activity

i have tried to connect with others from online lately and it seems as if that time is gone.

it is too easy to be aloof or a liar on here...just for the sake of being able to.

yet i come back after just a day or 2 haha.

why? who knows.

with people paying to be looked at, given fake gifts, "rated" for points and not a real reason...its not insane, it seems as if its a way to build up a person's self esteem from comments from people most will never know.

i have too much humanity left in me i guess...or maybe i dont want to see myself sucked into the pre-matrix arena.

i dont take insults to heart here.

i dont feel bad if im not a top friend.

no need for a crush or admirer.

although...i would like to find out why i see folks talk about it all just being for fun,yet they'll go nuts if theyre not "accepted" or get ignored.

i changed my entire view of things online.

its not a way to meet people...its a way to see what is happening to the world around.

in a small scale...this is fubar so there isnt much to examine haha.

i have to realize words are just words until they are backed up with action.

action can be taken online too...i have been part of that so i know.

so i guess ive been enlightened in a way.

i have used the internet as a modern communication device.

but im not sure how much has been real or just coded smoke up my ass.

i might be the wrong person for these things.

but....i wont delete my account or completely disband.

i will however remember to use my judgement a little bit more...as a good friend advised me to do as well.

haha and if i do end up finding out this is all the matrix...i'll stay in Zion.

reality is harsh but its also real.