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What are you waiting for?
it was only a matter of time before...i became a force to be reckoned with...entirely.
sure the ammo of being a dirtbag living in almost nothing seemed to be a well suited attack at me, but i dont take kindly to morons. soooo...i attack back with whatever sharp thing i can find in my mind.
most of it isnt picked up by accusers and assumers but it is consumed by them like a knife in the neck, they willingly paid for.
all figuratively speaking of course.
i would only physically harm those who would take the time and effort to do the same to me or others that i care about.
yet a few words, a few rumors, a few bags of bullshit arent going to keep me from washing my mind or my hands of certain accounts of mentally inefficiant blows.
i have let it all in...like a broken levvy, i'll hold the water back myself.
but i love to see those waves of anger and 2 bit quips of distain flow at me.
it brings me closer to what i love to do...some sort of reverse psychology goin there but...it works.
i offended a half wit friend last night because i was working on something when he showed up outta the blue at my door and i kept working on what i was doing.
came back in my room within less than a minute and the friend was nowhere to be found.
i was filling up a water can for my plants, which later i found out from his phone call a few minutes later that he wanted to know "jerm,whats up man? what happened?..." hahaha...and laugh is all i could do as a reply.
this person believing i was angry because i was in the middle of something and didnt nurse his ego by stopping my less in 60 seconds task, to sit with him in my own room after he showed up unannounced?!
the poor fool had to deal with me laughing at his upset assumption that i "hated" him haha.
having to apologize for laughing at him , i also told him to never assume that im mad at a person because i didnt give em a hug and drop what i was doing to see how they were.
haha...still i laugh.
after knowing this person is writing an article about how some "art promoters" in this city assume im out for revenge or that i have a deep rooted hate towards anyone doing something im not.
what else will a weak mind assume of me if i dont play the game they play.
im a friend, im a brother and im a son...yes i do get pissed off at the drop of a hat but its usually when someone knocks mine off into the dirt.
but i have learned not to take out a machete and aimlessly start swinging when it just needed to be dusted off from an accidental hit.
these arent hits though.
these persons i have been dealing with arent turning me into the Hulk...their attacks are too limited and always will be.
even when or if said persons, had millions of dollars, built a new Ark and had the blessings of the sun!
i dont care!
i live as i live.
and to have someone completely lose their cool because i didnt grab their hand and shake it like we're in some private club, is just too much of a bad thing.
my paranoia can reach bounds higher than a meth freak running naked down the street at 3 am.
but...not when it comes to simple shit.
not when its just another misunderstanding by a weak mind.
who perceive themselves as "strong willed" or secure in what they trust.
they dont trust anything, if you cant trust yourself, how you gonna trust me?!
im not afraid of saying what i say because i know the ramifications if im lying, if im just assuming, if its all in my head.
i would laugh myself to tears and a shotgun to the head if i acted anyway that some of these people ive been associated with.
im not looking for that ONE TRUTH! or neither am i trying to figure out the world from the inside out.
i am part of the world...as is everyone.
i wont be the one who exclaims...The End Is Near and then wait for it.
and those who do believe the end is near they might want to do what they want to do soon.
the shock value of saying "we're all gonna die" loses its effect when you have been to funerals of loved ones.
when old friends are 6 feet under now.
yes, we are all going to die, unless there are those freaks who believe vampires and the immortal cloning devices are in the works.
but as for now those things are all tv and things to be found out when or if they happen...im alive as me, jerm! and i do believe enjoying what ever shit life that has been given is the way to stay immortal.
no need to run for cover when things arent going as planned even with a few minutes of a well thought out acknowledgement.
i dont care!
actions do speak louder than words and when a person decides to leave my area because i didnt give them their thought out acceptance speach they wanted to hear when they see me, i can easily not care about that person.
it shows horrible lack of character and self worth.
im not part of that league.
i dont want armies of well wishers and BFFs.
i want the people who i care about and those who care about me.
i like paranoid people...i dont like those who assume things.
think of things yes! assuming things?...bad idea, especially when im being assumed of doing something that was thought up, not by me.
