Aroraa's blog: "hi there"

Hey there guys srry i havnt been on here much. I am working and going to school so I am not on here that much but I think of you all often. Wondering how everyone is doing. If any of you want to stop by and say hi to me I am always on messenger. If you want it just let me know.

I met this guy last summer out by our pool in our apartment complex. He seemed like a nice guy and he wanted to be friends no big deal so he got my number. He then like a week or so later just showed up at my door and asked me out. I told him I had a boyfriend already. That was cool with him. We talked some after that. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary with him. Then when Jeff left he was calling me more nothing wrong was going on until like 2 weeks after Jeff left did thinks start to change. He still called me everyday or everyother day and he would come over. I started to get this uneasy feeling when he was around. My body would be tense all the time like it should be ready to run at any moment. He would talk about sex he even showed me ky he had and he wanted to get my some laungeri for valentines day. I was going to have ppl over for a party and he showed up get drunk and he was trying to get me drunk. I fell asleep on the couch and I woke up sometime in the middle of the night and he was asleep on the floor. I kept myself protected in case. I also didnt want him to drink and drive and kill someone. He asked me if I wanted more kids once and I said eventually and then he started talking about getting his vasectamy reversed then he tried to kiss me. Then he came over ponding on my door cuz he called me twice and I didnt answer my phone. Then I saw him driving by my house and I was outside loading stuff in my truck and I know he wasnt coming from his friends. Then today the apartment was broken into and seemed like somone was trying to set it on fire. Guess its time to look into getting some peper spray and a tazzer.

Jan 9th 2007. The day my heart was crushed and it continues to be crushed. My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me. The pain is still great. He told me we could still be friends and then if it became more then that later then it will. I later found out that he just was saying that. That he doesnt want to get back together. He is makeing me sound like this horrible person and that I treated him so bad. I didnt. Ya I didnt always keep the house clean or the first year we lived together I had a job that didnt offer many hours so I didnt have much money coming in. But after that I got a job that was worth something and I paid him money. I bought him nice expensive things. I would do things for him without him asking me sometimes. Yes I may have done somethings in the past I am not proud of like the house and the job thing, but I didnt treat him like shit. I didnt cheat on him, yell at him, hit him or anything like that. He thinks that I didnt trust him. He has become a real jerk. Even after we broke up I did his laundry and bought him some groceries. He said I was taking advantage of him. I am starting to wonder if maybe he was taking advantage of me in some small way. I dont know maybe I am wrong. I dont know. All I know is I loved him and trusted him and I still do and always will. I just want the pain and hurt to go away.

Last night I learned that my boyfriend wants to move out. He said that he loves me to death but he cant live with me because I am too clingy. If I am I dont mean to be. He said he is not abandoning me and our daughter and I know that. We are not breaking up but damn my heart is breaking as tho we are. I dont know what to do or where to go. I cant afford to live on my own. I dont want to live with out him. I want him to lay beside at night, to see him when I wake up. He said that he is trying to make our relationship work. He wants to be happy. I guess I wasnt doing enough to make him happy. I cant change his mind, its already made up. I hope this works and we can live together again that he will want me. I hope he doesnt break my heart completely. He went to a friends house, whom I would love to hit right now for even suggesting that he move in with him, before he left he asked if i would believe him if he said he still loved me. I do still love him, I wish he could love me enough to stay with me. When am I gonna have someone that is gonna treat me with respect and love me no matter what? Who is gonna spoil me just a little? Think of me for once? I want to be happy for once in my life. Maybe I am not ment to be happy. Some people arent ment to be loved, maybe I am not one of those people. I dont know. He said its not really my fault that its his for asking me to move in with him. He thought he was ready to move the relationship to the next level and he wasnt. I just dont know what to do. All I know is that I dont want to hurt anymore. I am almost to the point of putting up a wall or making my heart stone. I dont know if he is trying to push me away or what. I really hope this works and we can live together again. I have 2 mo to find somewhere to go. I need to get my daycare up and running. Thats what I want to do. Oh well, I will figure something out.

The Bathtub Test During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. 'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.' 'Oh, I understand,' said the visitor. 'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.' 'No.' said the Director, 'A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?' ARE YOU GOING TO PASS THIS ON, OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE ?

T-G-I-F vs. S-H-I-T A business man got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a Bright, "T-G-I-F." He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T." She looked puzzled and repeated, "T-G-I-F," more slowly. He again answered, "S-H-I-T." The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile, and Said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F." The man smile d back to her and once again, "S-H-I-T." The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain. 'T-G-I-F' means 'Thank Goodness It's Friday.' Get it, duuhhh?" The man answered, "'S-H-I-T' means 'Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday'

Lastnight I decided I was gonna take a preg test. I should have started my monthly like almost 2 wks ago. I wasnt sure if I should tell Jeff that I was late or wait until I took the test. Well I decided to go ahead and tell him. Now I wish I hadnt. He got off work early and he said he wanted to talk to me. The first question he asked me was "where you taking your birthcontrol?" I told him that I was. Then he said I didnt need to get defensive. That its hard to talk to me cuz I get defensive. I get that way if I feel like I am being accused of something. He even said that he was keeping track of all the times I got defensive with him. He said he prayed that it was just stress that thats y I am late. I took the test last night and this morning and all were negative. I laid on the couch lastnight when everyone was in bed and he came out and asked my y I was on the couch. I told him what was on my mind and he said that he was only asking cuz he hasnt even seen my pills. I dont think I need to tell him where they are. I keep them hidden so my daughter wont find them. I did show him where they were tho. Then the subject turned to money. He asked me if I realized how much money I gave him for bills the last 2 times I got paid. He thinks that I am not gonna pay him anything. Its like he is keeping track of my money. I never ask him what he is doing with his money. I told him that I had his money and I was getting it to him on Monday and he asked if it I was sure thats I am not saying that cuz he said something about it. I just dont feel like he trusts me for some reason or has enough faith in me for some reason. I cried myself to sleep lastnight. I never have any money for myself to do what I want. When I get paid I give most or all of my check to him for bills. And that is fine and all but I wish he didnt make it all sound like I was a roommate. I am just wondering when its gonna be my turn. When is it gonna be my time to be happy. Not to worry all the time and stressed about if I am making everyone else happy. If I am doing something wrong. I know I am not perfect. I love Jeff so very much but sometimes he can hurt me more then he knows. Maybe I am just being dumb and there is no reason for me to feel this way.

Awhile ago I sent in a poem to poetry.com and yesterday in the mail I recieved an award. Editor's Choice Award for outstanding achievement in poetry. I had the chance in July to go to their convention in Vegas to present my poem and there I would also get my crystal statue and medal and something else but I cant remember what, anyway I never got to go or was able to send them the money for them to ship my awards to me so I never got them. But this is fine to. Not very many ppl get them and it feels good to know that my poems are not bad.

Hello?" > >"Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?" > >"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul." > >After a brief pause, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul." > >"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy right now." > >Brief pause. > >"Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. > >Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout Mommy, Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway. > >"Okay Daddy, just a minute." > >A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone. > >"I did it, Daddy." > >"And then what happened honey?" he asked. > >"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran >around screaming. > >Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she >isn't moving at all!" > >"Oh SHIT, I mean shoot!!! What about Uncle Paul?" > >"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on too. > >He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the >swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out all the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and he isn't moving either." > > >***Long, Long Pause*** > > > >"Swimming pool, honey? This is 486-5731, isn't it?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q31nA6LCMxE might have to copy and past in serch too