Last night I learned that my boyfriend wants to move out. He said that he loves me to death but he cant live with me because I am too clingy. If I am I dont mean to be. He said he is not abandoning me and our daughter and I know that. We are not breaking up but damn my heart is breaking as tho we are. I dont know what to do or where to go. I cant afford to live on my own. I dont want to live with out him. I want him to lay beside at night, to see him when I wake up. He said that he is trying to make our relationship work. He wants to be happy. I guess I wasnt doing enough to make him happy.
I cant change his mind, its already made up. I hope this works and we can live together again that he will want me. I hope he doesnt break my heart completely. He went to a friends house, whom I would love to hit right now for even suggesting that he move in with him, before he left he asked if i would believe him if he said he still loved me. I do still love him, I wish he could love me enough to stay with me. When am I gonna have someone that is gonna treat me with respect and love me no matter what? Who is gonna spoil me just a little? Think of me for once? I want to be happy for once in my life. Maybe I am not ment to be happy. Some people arent ment to be loved, maybe I am not one of those people. I dont know. He said its not really my fault that its his for asking me to move in with him. He thought he was ready to move the relationship to the next level and he wasnt.
I just dont know what to do. All I know is that I dont want to hurt anymore. I am almost to the point of putting up a wall or making my heart stone. I dont know if he is trying to push me away or what. I really hope this works and we can live together again. I have 2 mo to find somewhere to go. I need to get my daycare up and running. Thats what I want to do. Oh well, I will figure something out.
