LilSqueaker's blog: "help"

So many things have been going on in my life and too many times I feel like I'm loosing myself and not me anymore. I give so much of myself to everyone else and sometimes forget to take care of myself. I can't seem to figure out how to move on with some of the things I know will never happen and just accept the things that will happen. I often think of the serinity prayer that says "God grant me the serinity to accept the things I can not change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference." I have the courage to change the things that I can, but not sure I have the wisdome to tell the difference of the serinity to accept the things I can't.

I sit here and wander how to I get that serinity or the wisdom and then get lost in thought. Then I sit there and wander if I put everyone and everything else before my true heart desire. Did I mess things up and move too fast in my life and loose sight of what I have always wanted and what I always seen myself with. Did I care too much for others and not enough for myself?

` Then the thought comes to mind what if I was never suppose to have what I have drempt of all my life. Was it that I was suppose to have them but then I angered the Lord and so now I can't get what I always wanted. What do you do when you can't seem to excape your own mind and instead just sit there and get lost in the never ending emptiness of what could have been.