Cadillac Lady's blog: "Help!!!! My bed's been invaded by Baby Dolls, Hair brushes, and a two year old saying "Ewwww""

This is the blog that has no name... it just goes and on the same... I started writing it, not knowing what it was.. and I'll continue writing it just because it is the blog that has no name... it just goes on and on the same....

Ahhh, okay... I feel better now that is out of my system.... but be forewarned... I may blurt out words that will make absolutely no sense to anyone at all including me... just bare with me...

Spring break is here,,, and I've accomplished nada... partly due to having my granddaughter due to her being sick and not able to go to daycare... partly because by golly... for as long as I can remember I've always cleaned house, worked on the yard, and done activities with the kids during spring break... this is my week to do nada... and I am doing a mighty fine job of it also... I am almost perfecting it...

Bad thing about it is, by the time I got the energy to do what I need to do, it is time to go to my other job.... when I get home from that I don't want to do anything else... shamey shamey on me...

I did take Bailey over to a co-workers house and we did our walk-- didn't go far with kids in tow... Bailey had fun playing with her two ... they played so nicely and Bailey really hated to leave when it was time... ahhh, to be that young and carefree again...

Bailey had a blast playing in the dirt... getting as dirty as she could... keeping up with a 6 year old... while trying to be Miss Bossy over another 2 year old.... We heard plenty of her "I don't want to" and "I don't want that" and "That's mine" even when it wasn't... not hard to guess her age after a few minutes of observing her...

While the wee one's played, Amy and I chatted... got to know each other a bit better... some of our talk was serious... the rest was on the far side (which is where I think she has permenant residency).... I even shared some of my worldly (Okay okay... maybe not worldly) expereince and advice as a mom... not that I did that whoopie of a job... but hey.... they all are alive and breathing still today... so that has got to account for something right....

I am looking forward to this Saturday... it appears March is one busy month... with numerous birthdays and a wedding.... so on Saturday, March 15, we are having a "Party" at Vic's Club in Hutchinson to celebrate all the birthdays and the wedding... So if your in Hutch, come join the fun.... If some of the people show up that we are expecting... there will be plenty of laughter and fun for all...

Let's see.. what other types of rambling should I do... because I am procrastinating doing anything productive right this instant... actually thinking about getting some much needed beauty rest-- we know I need as much of that as I can muster.... (okay okay... I hear you snickering and agreeing with that statement-- shame on you)... instead I will just sit here continue writing this..

Did I mention my computer is in the hospital... waiting for surgery... it has to have a transplant... so we are just waiting for the part to arrive... in the mean time I am using my son's lap top... always thought I'd want one of these, and I do for when I travel and such... but for home use-- NO WAY... my pudgy short fingers don't like that little keys and my finger is protesting all the exercise it is getting pretending to be the mouse on that little pad... so I broke down and connected my regular keyboard and mouse to the lap-top... now If there is a way to make the screen bigger...

Well I think I have ran out of things to say... Bailey has finally fallen asleep for her nap.... and I have a list of "To Do's" that are screaming for my attention... My collection of dust bunnies are running scared... afraid they are soon going to be evicted, while the cobwebs and snickering hopeing that I can't reach them .... little do they know I have a broom with a long handle and I'm not afraid to use it...

So long farewell, auf weidersehen good-bye

Good Bye 2007 (Glad to see you go) Hello 2008 (Let's see what adventures you bring me) Jan 1, '08 5:16 PM for everyone 2007 brought with it a lot of laughter, tears, discoveries, and learning experiences... My relationship of 8 months with Scott ended the end of April, and my relationship of 7 months with Daren began in May and ended just a couple of weeks ago.... I learned a lot from both of these guys-- and I will forever be thankful to Daren for actually showing me what it is like to have fun again... Now I want that in any relationship I have... An internet friendship of almost 4 years ended a week ago-- And while I will miss the friend I thought I had in Bear... I won't miss all of his womanizing stories or his Alpha Dog Lady Rochelle controlling him... Guess I won't know when God will bless the world again with another off spring of His... There were other challenges in my life this last year... the arrest of my son, my youngest daughter & my granddaughter moving back home, Battling my weight and trying to lose it... I ended the year doing something I am hoping to be doing more of this year... and that is actually getting out of the house and finding things I enjoy doing-- such as playing pool.... or bowling.... who knows what other activities I may actually enjoy... 2008 will have a lot of whole new opportunities and experiences for me.... With finding a new place to live, work that will pay me enough so I can afford to live... to getting to meet and see my newest grandchild (due in July), and continue to discover my passions in life... I can tell already it is going to be a busy busy year for me... Welcome 2008!!!!

Rack 'em again Boyz.... Dec 30, '07 12:26 PM for everyone I found a new passion.... who'd thunk it... Playing Pool... now mind you-- I have never never ever ever played pool in a bar before... watched plenty of other's play... but never myself... Growing up I'd play pool at my grandparent's house (when we weren't using the table as a bed to sleep on) and when the video game craze hit and you actually had game rooms to go to, I'd play pool there... but we are talking at least 20 some years since my hand held a pool stick... Well last night when my date and I didn't connect up for the night, and a co-worker of mine needed an "out" with her derk da der date... we decided to go bowling and still have a good night-- well we get there and the lanes are full-- no open lanes... so we decided to go check out THE JACK OF CLUBS which has now opened up under new management.... I get carded at the door-- now mind you, I am wellllll over the age of 41.... I felt flattered by this (I did look "cute" if I say so myself) and the door watcher called me back over about 30 minutes later and wanted to know how I got in without I.D... I reminded him I showed my I.D. and he asked my age and I told him-- he didn't believe it... I told him even if you reverse the numbers in my age I was still over the age of 21... KM and I started playing a game of pool-- I was holding my own-- successfully moving the balls around the table and once in a while would actually get one in a hole... the first game we played I sunk the 8 ball before it was time so I lost... the second game we played, we both had all of our balls off the table and then she sank the 8 ball... We had just ordered a new round of drinks when the waitress came up to us and said "Do you like Mexican's" ... Just like that she said it... she went on to explain that the two mexican's at the table behind us would buy our drinks if we would talk to them... I told her we would talk to them and not expect them to buy our drinks (Is buying drinks the new -- putting the steak around their necks???)... Actually they both weren't that bad.. one was good looking and the other rather "cute".. The guys introduced themselves as "Alonzo" and "Valenine".. Alonzo must of been afraid we'd forget his name because he kept saying "I'm Aloooonnnnzzzzzoooo"... Neither spoke much english... Valentine and I went over and proceeded to play pool... Alonzo & KM proceeded chatting--she knew more spanish them I do... and Valentine and I continued playing pool... Valentine thought he'd try to show me how to shoot and when he did I would mess up... He finally backed off and I started shooting good again... During this game of pool a major fight broke out in the club... mixture of a lot of young punks, too much beer, and youngen's feeling 10 feet tall and bullet proof.... One of the bouncers got hurt... they get the dude out side and for a while no one could get in or out of the bar... the guy wouldn't leave the door area... Some how the guy gets back in... I am near the pool table and the next thing I know this dude is charging into the bar, damn near knocked me down as two guys attempt to grab him... two girls got shoved into a door way and were hurt... Valentine at this time had to be held back because he was pissed that three of us gals were affected.... but he cooled off quickly... We finished the game and KM and I was wondering how we were going to get away from these two fella's... It was obvious what they wanted when Valenine kept grabbing my arm trying to put my hand in places that I didn't want it to go... I finally spotted a high school classmate of mine and I went and said "HI" to him.... after several minutes I look over to KM and see these two guys have her cornered... so I head back over there.... With the exception of the fight(s) and the guys thinking because we chatted with them and played pool that we were going to jump in bed with them... I had a fun time.... Dan, my classmate, runs a Kareokee buisness and has invited us back out there tonight... and I just may do that... Now... here's the shocker of the whole night for those that know me pretty good.... I am not much of a drinker.... I am lucky if I have 4 drinks a year... I had 4 drinks and 2 jello shots.... Let me tell you... their drinks, especially for the price you pay, are not made very strong... the jello shot(s) had more affect on me then the 4 drinks did... lol

My Dating terms for 2008 Dec 28, '07 9:43 PM for everyone With the way 2007 is ending... and everyone else setting their resolutions-- I thought-- sure.. why the hell not do one myself.... I usually don't do resolutions because I believe they, for the most part, set you up to fail... For example: we all claim were going to lose weight in the new year... for Valentines day to fall a few weeks later with the romantic dinner and chocolets... and then it is easter-- more chocolet.... and by then there is no chance of fitting into that bikini you swore you'd get into this year.... So, I am considering this as a guideline and not so much a resolution.... Setting some dating ground rules so hopefully the heartbreak and disception I expereinced of late won't happen again... I am officially putting myself back on the dating market... one week to deal with the emotions of Daren is all I am going to allow.... he's not worth any more of my time or tears.... I have grieved the loss of this relationship long enough.... If you ask me out for a date, then be man enough to show up for it... don't leave me standing outside a resturant waiting for you, or in a park where you never show.... ONE TIME of standing me up is all you get... you then lost any chance of taking me out again.... Don't think that just because I am a BBW (Big Beautiful Woman) that I am desperate... I am not... I have plenty of things in my life to keep me busy and occupied... I am not desperate and having a man come across as desperate is a major major turn off... Dating means you pick me up or we meet at a generalized location... It means a meal, maybe a drink, possibly movies; concerts; museums; bowling; car races; shooting pool; riding a motorcycle, quads, or 4-wheelin; or going honky tonkin.... maybe some hand holding, cuddling, kissing.... it doesn't mean the night ends in my bed or a hotel.... A second date isn't a given... if you want to go on another date then you must show interest and ask me out for a second date.... which will look much like the list above... so will the third, fourth, fifth, sixth, etc... etc... No sexual relationships will occur until we've been dating regularly for a long period... That should be occuring about the same time we start meeting each other's children and parents.... I am NOT looking for "adult fun"... I am not looking to be someone's friend with benefits, I am not available to be someones convience while they wait for someone better to come along... I AM looking for a potential Long Term Relationship (LTR)... and I am the someone better that came along... I want someone who will share their world with me as I share mine with him... I want someone whose not afraid to be seen in public with me and even less afraid to show some level of public affection.... Now... with all of that being said and done, and with the option that this can change at any time (after all-- I am a female)... I say Let 2008 begin!!!!

Tonight I went to a Company Christmas party with a man I had shared a part of my life with for the past 7 months... I had a great time... I so looked forward to this night so I could spend some time with Daren... Often over the past 7 months I had questioned where I stood, as far as relationship status with this Daren, and for 7 months received a lot of mixed signals... and the end result was "were dating"... I often tried to find out exactly what "Dating" meant... did it mean we date others while dating each other or did it mean we were dating to see if a relationship was possible... I never got a clear answer... Well despite how well the evening went, and how comfortable I am when I am around Daren-- I wasn't prepared for what happened... While I am very grateful I was told in person, and not via email or instant messenger... the hurt was none the less painful.... I heard those words... "I met someone else and I won't be seeing you any more"... I felt the tears welling up behind my eyes-- but I didn't cry in front of Daren... I know I shouldn't of been emotional over it at all-- after all-- we were only "Dating".... regardless... the pain I am feeling is real... and I realize again that I invested more emotionally into a this relationship and I shouldn't of.... I am not mad at Daren... how can I be.... He said all along we were just dating.. and I know my weight was part of the reasons... I am thankful to Daren for many things... Daren had brought some fun into my life.... riding the motorcycles, going out looking for Deer after it rained, the Vacation he allowed me to be a part of... he even offered to come help cut the limbs in my yard last weekend but couldn't because of the snow... Part of me feels as if I should be yelling, screaming, making him feel the pain I am feeling right now... but I can't do that... I care for him... and I don't want to hurt him despite the hurt I feel... I will be okay... this I Know... I have bounced back from worse thing then this... the timing of the news was all wrong tonight-- it's my dad's birthday, and I had gotten word earlier today that my oldest daughter's grandfather (my ex-father-in-law) is very ill and they called the family today to come say their good-byes.. not to mention this is just days before Christmas... and right now I am sitting here alone and hurting and just needed to vent... Daren, if you read this... I do wish you luck and I hope you and the kids have a Merry Christmas-- let me know how they liked the gifts I got them and I hope you enjoy your gift also.... Thanks again for taking me to the Christmas Party... I did enjoy that part of the evening...

I am not liking Condi's scale right now... It has been so nice to me but today it was very very mean and I don't like it... don't like it one bit... I know where my downfall has been, with being stuck at home most of this week due to the ice storms and no work, I did some baking of cookies for my granddaughter (and me)... and I have done a lot of cooking for meals -- big meals... meals that aren't diet friendly... and we won't even talk about the hot cocoa with marshmellow's I've consumed this past week or so... With my granddaughter here, I find the time I have to walk on the treadmill is when she is finally down for nap... problem is-- the treadmill is in her bedroom and the noise will wake her up from her nap-- so I haven't been on it in over a week... I need to get refocused, back on track... and remember I need to cook for me and not everyone else... I have to keep in mind that I am doing this for me... and thus I have to do the cooking for me and make time for the treadmill regardless... even if it is 5 minutes a day... I have to make the time...

My granddaughter, Bailey, was being her charming self last night.... Britney (my youngest daughter--her mommie) had put her to bed... and after a while I went to bed.... Bailey went through the bathroom and into my room and crawled into bed with me.... we started chatting and playing... pretty soon Britney came in and took her back to her bed... A short time later I hear a little giggle as a little girl is slowly crawling back into my bed.... and she is just a chattering and giggling away.... Ut Oh... her mommy heard her again and took her back to her room and changed her diaper... Next thing I know she is running back into my room and crawling back into bed with me.... Britney came to retrieve her once again and this time took her to bed with her so we all could get some sleep.... I thought it was cute... how every time Britney's back was turned she came running into my room and would start giggling and chatting... Bailey came up to me a bit ago and was pulling on her britches and said "I farted".... so after a few times of this I checked her britches and shes did more then fart.... the whole time I am changing her she is still trying to convience me that all she did was Farted... lol Bailey's speach is improving and she is becoming more and more devious every day.... She is definately giving her mom a run for her money.... and I just sit back and smile and know that the parent's curse lives on....

What do you get when you have a little bit of cold air, moisture, some ice on windshields, slippery streets, and Kansas drivers behind the wheels??? Idiots on Parade... I swear (okay okay, I know I know.. not nice to swear) we had a seasoned driver get in his bus the other day and tell "Control" that the defrosters haven't cleared his windshield and he didn't know what to do.. she told him to let the bus warm up a bit more-- I am thinking--DUH.. isn't that what ice scrapers are for??? He then came back with "For how long"... our bosses classic reply was "Until you can see out the windshield" HERE'S YOUR SIGN!!! Watching drivers and listening to the scanner I realize this driver isn't alone... There are lotzof them out there... Do you know what happens when you have bald tires, a junker of a pick up truck loaded down with junk and trash in the back, and you approach a stop light on a slick street??? You end up on the medium at Avenue A & Main.... I can't wait to see what listening entertainment I will get to enjoy if the weather they are expecting for tomorrow happens... That would be adding some snow this already present conditions we've had for a couple of days now...

I was reading an inspirational article the other day on MSN about a woman who lost 500 pounds in 3 years... that's an average of 130 per year... This woman talked about how her son feared coming home and finding her dead... and that her turning point... believe it or not, was the computer... She got a computer and started chatting and found that her new found friends online liked her for her thoughts, opinions, and personality--NOT HER SIZE.... She said she noticed after a while that her fingers were smaller (Probably from all of the typing)... This woman broke down in tears and cried because the kindness of faceless strangers saved her life and gave her back a life... This woman also talked about she said "If I just lose 40 pounds I'll be happy" and then found the opposite to be just as true... If she gained 40 pounds she was momentarily happy.... I also read another article on MSN about talked about how some clothing makers are making their clothing size larger... for example a size 2 from years ago is actually a size 4 today but still labeled a size 2.... It's all about image.... that some women won't accept the fact that their hips have spread or their bodies are a little more rounded and thus refuse to believe that they would fit into anything but a 2... after all-- they have always been a 2.... I can relate to the "image" we have of our bodies... Even despite the 20 pounds and 7 inches weight loss-- I look in the mirror and I don't see any changes at all... I am afraid to give up my baggy clothes because I fear I will need them again... and in time I am sure I can give them totally up also... or use them as rags this summer to clean the buses... (I am down to X08) I have attributed a lot of my success this time around to baby-steps... for those that have read my earlier blogs you know I've stated that a lot... These baby-steps may not sound like much-- but 20 pounds and 7 inches later they are a lot... I stopped frying my chicken and bake/boil it instead.... I park further from the doors... I move things I use often further from my seat forcing me to get up and move more... I cut back portions-- eating off of sandwich plates or child's plates vs. platters or dinner plates... I also have a great support system.... I have a diet partner whom I get along with (Even though she is a republican and frigid as an iceberg)... and a great support system with my online friends... and less stress this time around.... months of the empty nest has done me good... To me it's not a race, to lose weight... but it is an opportunity.... It has taken me 30 years to put on all of this weight, and if I can lose it in 2-3 years, I will be more then thrilled... I am seeing success... even though there are days in which I feel like it is all smoke and mirrors and I am still that blob of a person-- I then look at photo's... and I can see "suttle" changes... like less double chin, my eyes more visible, and less stomach under the boobage area... It's been an awesome journey... and I am glad I have decided to stick with this...

Or at least that is what it feels like... I am about tired already of holding my britches up as I walk-- or having them fall down and my undies exposed as I am going up or down the stairs.... While it is nice to pull down my britches and not undo them-- I do get tired of pulling them up all the time.... The pants I have been wearing have been baggy for some time-- I convienced myself I streached them out and that is why they are so baggy.... but then a friend of mine gave me a pair of 34's and a pair of 32's... the other night.... Nice looking pair of pants if I say so myself.... Yesterday I wore the 34's.... and I took two steps and they were falling down... they were a cute black pair of jeans and I was determined to wear them no matter what.... By 5 pm I was saying "To hell with this" and slipped them off and put on a pair of shorts.... they were too baggy.... So this morning I put on the 32's... while they weren't as baggy-- they are still pretty baggy.... they didn't fall all the way to my ankles like the others did, but they are hanging low on the hips-- showing the panties I am wearing today.... My same friend had given me a pair of pants a few months ago and I couldn't get them buttoned... so tomorrow I am going to try those pants... Let's hope I can get them fastened... Everyone keeps saying "Great, that is what you want.... baggy britches" and I am sitting here saying "Noooo, I want britches that fit".... but I am going to have to endure the baggy pants for a bit longer... until I can afford to go clothes shopping... and then I don't want to get too many new pants-- for I am hoping to lose a lot more before it is all said and done... By the way-- The holidays didn't hurt me none-- I have been fluxuating between X13 and X10 for a few weeks now.... When I weighed this week I was at X11.... so considering the amount of food & pies I ate over Thanksgiving-- I am very pleased with this weight.... I guess getting on the treadmill 5 times that day did the trick.... lol