That's what happens when you let your heart lead,
You always end up burnt in the end.
She says she loves me,
But always tells me to hit the road,
And it leaves more scars
And unanswered questions.
No, you're not good enough,
Her words say :
But it sounds different:
"I'm doing this for you"
Everyone knows that's not true,
It's more than a trailer load
Of collected country manure.
The stench burns my eyes,
The odor chokes away what breath
That I have left.
My heart shattered beyond repair
At the words that cut like a knife,
But I should have known.
No, I don't drive no fanciful car,
And I don't go to the gym
Six days a week,
And yeah, well, I am only kinda cute--
Oh yeah, and sweet.
Sweet like the stench of rotting meat,
It seems--
So sweet the gagging begins,
And I am shunned- shattered.
Demons have invaded my dreams,
And told me it was going to happen,
But I didn't listen,
I didn't want to know the truth,
But the truth has cut me--
Sliced my heart into minute pieces
That will NEVER be put back together again.
Guarded isn't even close to the word needed to describe how I protect myself-
The once kind hearted friend,
The once "perfect gentleman"
No longer exists.
Just like my heart.
It doesn't exist.
There's an empty seeping hole
In the spot that once occupied
This lion's heart.
No longer will there be words of kindness,
No longer will there be words of comfort-
The organ that once created these has
Been torn and smashed
Severed from my body in the most unholy manner.
So today, I think I will just die.
No heart left to beat,
The flame in my soul forever extinguished.
Robert J Nye (2008)
