Santa didn't bring me anything today,
I guess he thought I had enough this year,
And I reckon he's right,
But still a little something
Would have been nice.
He passed right by my house,
I know I heard his sleigh bells ringin'
As I sat in my chair,
Playing my guitar and singin'.
I stepped out my door
And said, "Santa why do you tease me?"
"You give all these wonderful gifts,
And to everyone I am so nice?"
I heard him laugh and say, in his jolly way,
"Sir, you're truly nice and a poet at heart,
But the gifts that you seek don't come
In a box or a bow,
And they can't be found at your local Walmart."
I said, " Santa, how come you didn't come to my house? Why didn't you send them by mail?"
He retorted in a way that seemed almost evil,
"Last time I did I ended up in a Mexican Jail!"
"But Santa, it was fun I left lemon and tequila!"
He looked down and said,
"Yeah, Rudolph hasn't flown straight since: Let me tell ya'"
I knew he was right and I knew it was true,
And there really wasn't much else
That I could say,
And nothing else I could do.
He said, "Son, I know you made my nice list,
And you have a heart of gold,
But there is something dark in you,
And not that the whole world should know.
It's not evil and you don't mean no harm,
And you do still have your boyish charm.
Some day you will find that with your heart
You will find joy and not need gifts,
But please go back inside and put up your whips!"
The reindeer looked skittish,
And Rudolph slighty insane,
And I knew they were all onto my game.
So I did as I was told and he dropped me a gift,
Right on my porch; That's what he did.
I opened it happily and gave the wrapping no care,
And inside the box, I dare not share,
But also inside, was a little reminder note:
"You're more than you seem,
And you have a great heart,
You have a little twist,
Which isn't all bad,
Everyone say your warm
And you seem so nice,
but not many can claim
They made the 'naughty list twice'!!!!
