Georgia Rose's blog: "Good Home Remedies"

Eliminate ear mites. All it takes is a few drops of Wesson corn oil in your cat ' s ear...Massage it in, then clean with a cotton ball. Repeat daily for 3 days. The oil soothes the cat ' s skin, smothers the mites, and accelerates healing. Kills fleas instantly...Dawn dishwashing liquid does the trick. Add a few drops to your dog ' s bath and shampoo the animal thoroughly. Rinse well to avoid skin irritations. Good-bye fleas. Rainy day cure for dog odor ....Next time your dog comes in from the rain, simply wipe down the animal with Bounce or any dryer sheet, instantly making your dog smell springtime fresh. Did You Know that drinking two glasses of Gatorade can relieve headache pain almost immediately-- without the unpleasant side effects caused by traditional "pain relievers." Did you know that Colgate toothpaste makes an excellent salve for burns. Before you head to the drugstore for a high-priced inhaler filled with mysterious chemicals, try chewing on a couple of curiously strong Altoids peppermints. They ' ll clear up your stuffed nose. Achy muscles from a bout of the flu? Mix 1 Tablespoon of horseradish in 1 cup of olive oil. Let the mixture sit for 30 minutes, then apply it as a massage oil, for instant relief for aching muscles. Sore throat? Just mix 1/4 cup of vinegar with 1/4 cup of honey and take 1 tablespoon six times a day. The vinegar kills the bacteria. Cure urinary tract infections with Alka-Seltzer. Just dissolve two tablets in a glass of water and drink it at the onset of the symptoms. Alka-Seltzer begins eliminating urinary tract infections almost instantly-- even though the product was never been advertised for this use. Honey remedy for skin blemishes ... Cover the blemish with a dab of honey and place a Band-Aid over it. Honey kills the bacteria, keeps the skin sterile, and speeds healing. Works overnight. Listerine therapy for toenail fungus. Get rid of unsightly toenail fungus by soaking your toes in Listerine mouthwash. The powerful antiseptic leaves your toenails looking healthy again. Easy eyeglass protection... To prevent the screws in eyeglasses from loosening, apply a small drop of Maybelline Crystal Clear nail polish to the threads of the screws before tightening them. Cleaning liquid that doubles as bug killer ... If menacing bees, wasps, hornets, or yellow jackets get in your home and you can ' t find the insecticide, try a spray of Formula 409. Insects drop to the ground instantly. Smart splinter remover. Just pour a drop of Elmer ' s Glue-All over the splinter, let dry, and peel the dried glue off the skin. The splinter sticks to the dried glue. Hunt ' s tomato paste boil cure .....cover the boil with Hunt ' s tomato paste as a compress. The acids from the tomatoes soothe the pain and bring the boil to a head. Balm for broken blisters... To disinfect a broken blister, dab on a few drops of Listerine. a powerful antiseptic. Vinegar to heal bruises .... Soak a cotton ball in white vinegar and apply it to the bruise for 1 hour. The vinegar reduces the blueness and speeds up the healing process. Quaker Oats for fast pain relief... It ' s not for breakfast any more! Mix 2 cups of Quaker Oats and 1 cup of water in a bowl and warm in the microwave for 1 minute, cool slightly, and apply the mixture to your hands for soothing relief from arthritis pain.

PIZZA: > Heat up leftover pizza in a non-stick skillet on top of the > stove, set heat to med-low and heat till warm. This keeps the crust > crispy No soggy micro pizza > EASY DEVILED EGGS: > Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal, mash till they > are all broken up. Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, keep > mashing it up mixing thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy, > squeeze mixture into egg. Just throw bag away when done > easy clean up. > > EXPANDING FROSTING: > When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip > it with your mixer for a few minutes. You can double it in size. > You get to frost more cake/cupcakes with the same amount. You > also less sugar/calories per serving. > > REHEATING REFRIGERATED BREAD: > To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, > place them in a microwave with a cup of water. The increased > moisture will keep the food moist and help it reheat faster. > > NEWSPAPER WEEDS AWAY: > Start putting in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil. > Wet newspapers put layers around the plants overlapping as you > go cover with mulch and forget about weeds. Weeds will get through > some gardening plastic they will not get through wet newspapers. > > BROKEN GLASS: > Use a dry cotton ball to pick up little broken pieces of > glass- the fibers catch ones you can't see! > > NO MORE MOSQUITOES: > Place a dryer sheet in your pocket. It will keep the mosquitoes >away. > > SQUIRREL AWAY: > To keep squirrels from eating your plants sprinkle your > plants with cayenne pepper. The cayenne pepper doesn't hurt the >plant > and the squirrels won't come near it. > > PROOF OF OWNERSHIP: > If you purchase a new bike for your child or grandchild in my case, > place their picture inside the handle bar before placing the > grips on. If the bike is stolen and later recovered, remove the >grip > and there is your proof who owns the bike. > > FLEXIBLE VACUUM: > To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add > an empty paper towel roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. > It can be bent or flattened to get in narrow openings. > > REDUCING STATIC CLING: > Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not > have a clingy skirt or dress. Same thing works with slacks that > cling when wearing panty hose. Place pin in seam of slacks and - > voila - static is gone. (But be careful where you put the pin!) > > MEASURING CUPS: > Before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill it > with hot water. Dump out the hot water, but don't dry the cup. > Next, add your ingredient, such as peanut butter, and watch > how easily it comes right out. > > FOGGY WINDSHIELDS: > Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in > the glove box of your car. When the windows fog, rub with the > eraser! Works better than a cloth! > > REOPENING ENVELOPES: > If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include > something inside, just place your sealed envelope in the freezer > for an hour or two. Voila! It unseals easily. > > CONDITIONER: > Use your hair conditioner to shave your legs. It's a lot cheaper > than shaving cream and leaves your legs really smooth. It's also > a great way to use up the conditioner you bought but didn't like > when you tried it in your hair... > > GOODBYE FRUIT FLIES: > To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass fill it > 1/2" with Apple Cider Vinegar and 2 drops of dishwashing liquid, > mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the cup and gone >forever! > > GET RID OF ANTS: > Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, > take it "home," & can't digest it so it kills them. It may take > a week or so, esp. if it rains, but it works & you don't have the > worry about pets or small children being harmed! > > TAKE BABY POWDER TO THE BEACH: > Keep a small bottle of baby powder in your beach bag. When > you're ready to leave for the beach sprinkle yourself and kids with > the powder and the sand will slide right off your skin

*Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was: "Name seven advantages of "Mothers Milk." Worth 70 points or none at all. One student, who had partied late the night before, was frustrated to think of seven advantages. He wrote: 1. It is perfect formula for the child. 2. It provides immunity against several diseases. 3. It is always at the right temperature. 4. It is inexpensive. 5. It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa. 6. It is always available as needed. And then, the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang, indicating the end of the test, he wrote: 7. It comes in such cute containers. He got an "A".*

Message A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith about enlarging her tiny breasts. Dr. Smith advised her, "Every day after your shower rub your chest and say, "Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies." She did this faithfully for several months and it worked! She grew terrific D-cup boobs! One morning she was running late, got on the Bus and in a panic realized she had forgotten her morning ritual. Frightened she might lose her lovely boobs if she didn't recite the little rhyme, she stood right there in the middle aisle of the bus closed her eyes and said, "Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies." A guy sitting nearby looked at her, "By any chance, are you a Patient of Dr. Smith's?" "Why, yes I am... How did you know?" He leaned closer, winked and whispered, "Hickory dickory dock..."

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed. 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink. 4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer. 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough. 7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. and finally, remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. Never pass up a chance to pee, and never underestimate a fart. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance. And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.