DEMONS WHISPERS
they come like the wind back to my mind
telling those lies I've tried so hard to forget
lack of sleep and fever only help those words
come ever so clearly into my broken spirit
so easily as if they never left
no one here to help chase them away
all I can do is listen and look for my
beloved paper clips, for my delicious agony
to return in beautiful crimson color
seeping through my skin as i scratch,
scratch, scratch away the pain.
giving myself control yet
again over something, anything.
tears flood into my eyes as i throw the
bent pieces of metal across the room and
I scream, holding my hair so tight
it might rip out.
demons whisper into my ears
you are fat, you are stupid, you are so ugly..
no wonder why he stays in Kentucky.
Its so clear why you are still single,
why all anyone has wanted from you is sex,
because that's all you're worth.
STUPID, FAT AND UGLY!
You are destined to be alone..
remember me telling you this not to long ago?
alone.. alone.. alone
I rip the shiny dull metal clip across my skin
again and again and again
watching my skin tear away
needing to see the deep red seep through
look, there it is, I CONTROLLED THIS
something I can control..
making a new line across my arm,
and another, and another
Shooting up out of my sleep,
I look down to my arm, holding it
nothing there..
I glare at the clock with
its bright green numbers
2:04 AM. Damn, 4 minutes of sleep tonight..
I click on the T.V.. nothing but re-runs,
I open my poetry book and words spill out
as if they have been held captive
stretching my neck, turning my head,
rolling my shoulders..
I push my fingers into my eyes...
God please bring me sleep, restful sleep.
