Over 16,532,151 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?
As some of you already know, I had a hearing this week for my divorce. It was going to be a final hearing, but when the magristrate asked if my oldest daughter was better off living with her father, I could only tell him that I wasn't sure. That's mainly in part because I was threatened by my ex that if I contested custody of Gabrielle, he would come for my other child Gracie. I have had Gracie with me since the day she was born. We have a wonderful bond. Needless to say, his threat had an impact on my testimony.
My ex was emotionally abusive to me from the moment I married him. He has told me if I didn't lose weight he would leave me. That no man would put up with me and that he should have left me alone to raise our children. When I was pregnant with our 1st child, he told me that he had no choice but to be a father now. Last but not least, you are just like your mother. More of the last comment later. That was the biggest insult of all. When we separated he threatened to have me investigated in front of 2 witnesses that are not family. He was going to do everything to make sure I got nothing and was going to take both of my children. If it wasn't bad enough, his family was emotionally abusive too. They claimed I was a gold digging whore and make it a point to let me know I was never worthy of him. It took me 5 years to realize that it wasn't that I wasn't worthy of him, but he wasn't worthy of me.
As a result of all that abuse, I had a nervous breakdown at 22. A year later I had a relapse because I didn't fully recover from the 1st one. I blacked out several times during both, not remembering anything. The 1st breakdown nearly killed me and I haven't been the same person since. My senses are a lot higher than they have ever been. There's a whole week of my life that I don't even remember being awake for.
This week has been spent collecting evidence and testimony to support my case. It's difficult to prove emotional abuse in court, seeing as I never reported any of it. The courts could see it me being an unstable parent. i haven't had any relapses or issues in over 11 years. I'm a lot stronger than I was then. I came from a bad home life growing up and married into an even worse one. My daughter has gained 40 lbs. and 9 clothing sizes since living with her father. He claims it's a growth spurt. First of all, you don't gain weight during a growth spurt period. My daughter needs dental work and hasn't seen a dentist since she was 5. He is court ordered to have medical and dental insurance for both children. He only has the medical for them. Also, he makes really bad judgement calls. It frightens me as a mother what will happen to my children.
I just wanted to vent today. This entire situation has me stressed out.
