Reeka's blog: "Cancer stuffs"

So if you have a breast reconstructed from your own (abdominal) tissues, is it still a fake boob? Discuss amongst yourselves. :)

crap. I finally heard back from the plastic surgeons. I have my evaluation for reconstruction scheduled for Dec. 5th. Dammit, another 11 days to sit and wait to see what can be done, while my cancer multiplies. I apologize in advance for being freakishly moody. Even more than usual.

The second biopsy site was confirmed to be DCIS as well. I will definitely have to have a full mastectomy. The surgical oncologist is referring me to a plastic surgeon to do the reconstruction. Good news is so far it still looks to be noninvasive, so no chemo hopefully. It was expected, and I feel better having it confirmed... but I'm still mourning my boob :( It's a pretty boob, it doesn't deserve this :P

The bad news: there is definitely something invading my entire ductal system. The mammograms showed fairly extensive calcifications that were not present a few weeks ago. The ultrasound showed the area that was biopsied before was much larger, and there are several more areas as well as what looked like an entire duct affected. The good news is my lymph nodes look normal in the ultrasound. I should have the pathology results back on Friday to see if it's cancer for certain... but it's pretty likely.

Just got off the phone with the breast imaging department. They talked with my surgeon and decided to do another ultrasound, and possibly a fine needle aspiration. After that, if necessary, they can do another core biopsy or whatever... all starting tomorrow morning at 7:30. At least it's moving along...

Just heard back from my surgeon. He says the MRI showed the tumor looked to be extensive enough that a lumpectomy would not be an option. Since a mastectomy is such a big deal, though, he said we could try another biopsy in a different area to make sure the cancer is as big as they thought. So now I get to wait to have that scheduled too... but worth it if it means I can save most of my boob. *sigh*

Had the MRI today. To do a breast MRI, you have to lay on your stomach on this weird setup, and your boobs go through holes in it and hang down. Because of this, the IV for the contrast has to be put in a hand. Had I known this I would have panicked more. When I was in labor with my son they had to try 6 times to find a good vein to put the IV in. Eventually they used a vein between my fingers or something. At any rate, she tried on my left hand first, and after more than 5 minutes of prodding around she called for help. She felt the vein, but it just wasn't hitting it. She got it, but then lost it. So she had to try the right hand. Still took several tries to get it in.... I have huge bruises on the backs of both of my hands now and they hurt. After they got the IV in and started flushing it, I felt extremely faint. I'm usually fine with needles and blood and such... but I swear I almost passed out. In about 30 seconds there were 4 medical professionals in the room with me trying to see what was wrong. They had to wheel me down to the room with the MRI in a wheelchair cuz I was afraid I'd fall down. I barely fit in the machine. My ass was squeezed pretty tight, and I couldn't take a full breath because then my back would be compressed as well. I would have slept - might have even nodded off a couple times, but the thing is so darned loud it was basically impossible. My daughter is home sick with me. I'm heading off for a nap soon... I'm exhausted, barely slept last night.

I have my MRI scheduled for tomorrow to define my treatment plan. I'm so wiped out... I've spent the last 2 days doing what can only be defined as nesting. My living room hasn't been this clean since I was preparing for last years' xmas dinner. I feel lost. I don't know what to do. The people I need most don't want to talk about it, and it hurts. That's not to say I have no support... just .... oh hell I don't even know what I wanted to say. And I can't stop crying, it was stupid to try to watch Grey's Anatomy.

Reeka's got a Happy Hour! Auto 11 will be on! Come help me move closer to Disciple pweeaasseee :D This would not be possible without the loving support of my friends who gave this to me: .violets. Monica the Great Who Knows Vixen260 Bounty Hunter Majik Philemon ♡Reeka♡ ~ Anti-Lounge whore ~ owned by half my fu-familly ~ Fishinrod's Human @ fubar