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What are you waiting for?
It has been a life time, 14 years, but the scars still stay, both physical and otherwise. I was 19 and you had just turned 18, you were charismatic, and yet shy. Strong, yet so vulnerable, already your life had given you more then your share, and I just added to it. I still remember walking through the park, and you asked me if I wanted a relationship with you, or if we were just fooling around. I was scared, and still trying to come into my own and figuring myself out. I wanted so much to say that I did want a relationship, but I hesitated, and you drew your own conclusion and you backed off from me, I had blown it, but worse then that I had become just another in a long line of people who hurt you and let you down. Then I had to go and tailspin out of control with my life, and you got sucked into it. Maybe you wanted to hurt me like I had hurt you, but in that moment I snapped and did something really stupid, and you got blamed for what I had done. I ultimately did the right thing, and took my blame that I so rightly deserved, after hearing you curse me, and heard you cry. I had hurt you even more, and I had never wanted to do that, but I did.
Still to this day, "I don't want the world to see me, because I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am" It haunts me more then I like to admit. I have tried finding you, and I hope that you finally found something worthy of you, I wanted to find you so I can tell you how truly sorry I am that I hurt you so badly. I want to tell you in person, but would settle for on the phone. You deserve no less then to hear me say the words, and to know that I truly mean them. Maybe you will see this, I will still look, even if it takes another 30 years
