DA TORO MFKN GFY's blog: "my writings"

As i lay beneath the mighty walnut tree my skin warmed by the sun and kissed by the wind,i think to myself my dark lord how i wish it were ur kiss apon my warm and wanton skin.

As the light of the predawn shines through the window i look to u but can only smile like a fool over the night we have spent together with much pleasure and pain tortures and raptures and exstacy i look to u and think ohhhhh my sweet dark lord the many ways that i love u.

As i lay here cryin drifting in and out of my slumber i hear the words to a familar song repeating in my head and cant help but sing them quietly, I TEAR MYSELF OPEN I SEW MYSELF SHUT MY WEAKNESS IS THAT I CARE TOO MUCH THE SCARS REMIND US THAT THE PAST IS REAL I TEAR MY HEART OPEN JUST TO FEEL and i wonder where are u my lord my darkangel in the night????

laying in the darkness i wake to look for u and find u gone i rise from my bed to look for u as i search i find u know where , i think to myself my love where are u??? why have u gone from me ??? i return to our bedchamber cryin i lay restless and await ur return thinkin will u return to me or have i lost u forever my love???

my love my darkangel in the night i call ur name and hold u closely as i awake frightened in the night from a dream of lossing u , u hold me close and i nuzzle into ur arms thankin the gods for the day they sent me to u and wondering shall we last forever or shall i truely one day loss u ???

as i walk through the night the moon high in the sky making the river sparkle i look out onto the abyss i see a light in the distance , as i approach i see u smiling at me with the moon makin ur eyes sparkle like the stars, u becon for me to come to u , and as i do i can see that u are wearing nothing put a sliken robe. i smile and come to ur side and we sit by the fire, as we sit i feel ur hands correse my body and i shiver at ur touch, as u pull me closer i feel ur breath warm against my ear as u whisper to me FEAR ME NOT MY LOVE ILL NOT HARM U. i  whimper softly and curl into ur arms as i feel the sting of ur bit apon my neck and i cry out in pure exstacy.

as i feel the bit of ur dark kiss apon my neck i curl closer to u as ur hands and claws trail over my now nakked body i shiver and moan as ur kisses travel from my neck now to my shoulder slowly slowly they trail lower and lower until i scream as ur fangs capture my breast i dig my claws into ur back as i pull u closer reveling in the feel of u feeding apon me, u release my breast and look at me with a smile and i can see my blood dripping from ur fangs, i smile and exspose my own fangs and sink them into ur chest as i feel ur fingers at my thigh i release ur chest and look up to u as i whimper and softly call out ur name and look into ur eyes as i say plz my love plz.

u smile as u lay me back apon the bank of the river the moon shining brightly in my hair as my eyes roll back and shift to a glowing purple as i feel u kneel and part my legs i feel the sting of ur fangs once more apon my thigh and i growl at u lustfully as i shift and let loose my wings i reach down and curl my fingers into ur hair as u begin once again to feed from me. i feel ur breath hot and cool at the same time against my sweetest of places and i moan softly as u lower ur head once more and continue your teasing i think to myself my dear sweet gods what wonders u have sent to me this night.

i cry out loudly as i feel u pull away from me i look up to u and pout u smile and reach for me pullin my up u rip free my dress and lay me back apon the river bank next to the fire as u return to me i see ur hardness in the light of the fire and the glow of desire in ur eyes i watch as u shift revealin ur true form to me and i gasp as i look apon u and thing my love what beauty the gods have created for my eyes to behold. u come to me and take me into ur arms pulling me up slightly as u slowly enter my warmth with ur hardness i cry out and sink my claws deeply into ur back.

as we come together moanin and howlin in exstacy i wish that this night would last forever as i feel u tighten and slow ur pace i feel my self sliding over the edge and as our two souls meet i cry out as our desire crashes together  and i see fire in ur eyes as mine roll back and shift to a deep dark jade i pull u close and kiss u deeply as our bodys calm and we lay by the fire panting and sweeting yet we cant stop smiling at each other under the light of the moon.

i lay restless in the bed that we share as i look to the place were once u did lay and weep as my soul calls out to yours but no answer do i resieve i cry out to the gods as the heavens open and even they cry out at the breaking of my heart, and i relise as i weep that i have truely lost u my dark angel in the night but i dont understand why u have gone from me.

my heart breaks as i howl loudly sending a song to the gods as i must shut my heart forever and live with what they have given me and suffer in silence and missery never to have the truest desire of my heart fulfilled i weep as i look to u longing for your imbrace knowing that it never shall be.

my heart crys out for u yet u turn ur back on me when i call to u . what is it u want from me what is it u exspect why is it i cant turn away from u and when i do i always come running back even though ur cut me to the quick??? and yet i return like a moth to the flame u hurt me and cut me down and yet i always return i love u sir i really do even when u hurt me and stomp my heart my love is still yours.

i lay here crying my eyes swollen and red why is it doing the right thing has to feel soo wrong and doing the wrong thing feels so right my heart crys out for you my soul weeps and my heart dies and stains everything that once was my life and yet i want u still with every fiber of my being why why my darling must this hurt so much to be with u is to die and to die is to live so why why am i still hear crying ???

why is it my dreams must die to be a part of your reality my family must suffer for u to feel alive my pain is ur pleasure and my heart ache is your reward i try and i try to be what is best for u yet again and again i fail and bring u nothing but pain and suffering so tell me my darling why do u hold to me so tightly when i am soo cruel and uncaring to u why do u want for my heart when it is dead and i lie dying in my own pool of blood and torment .

my love is my pain and my pain is my hate and ohhh how i hate the way that i love and that my hate consumes me i hate how it feels to loss u and everything near and dear to me i hate loving u and i hate that u love me once i am gone i want ur promise that no one will cry at my funeral that not a tear shall be shead by man or beast for i am not worth there suffering i am not worth there pain i am not worth the tears they shead for my long dead soul my life is gone now and i am finally truely at peace and free from this world free to fly with all my brothers and sisters.

my heart crys out for love and affection yet u turn from me u stab me in the back when i all i want is to be close to u u turn me away u make me cry and wish for death i long for its sweet immortal embrace i want to be gone from this world and all of its pain and suffering from its torrtures to my heart and soul. i reach for u but u are gone from me u have turned away and i have slipped away i dont want to see the pain and the hate in your eyes i just wish it was gone and that u werent numb and cold to my touch. but we are addicts to the pain the victims of  love, who constantly hurt each other to feel alive.

my weakness is my heart my heart is my pain and i care so much for u that it tears me apart with each day we are apart i die a little inside i wish for your forgiveness i wish to take away your pain and suffering and replace it with mine let me end ur suffering and pain.

hold me like u held onto life love me like u loved the sun scorching the blood in my vampire heart i wish i could be there to hold u like u once heald me close and safe in your arms as we once were i long for u i miss your embrace and the sweet words u would whisper into my ear as we fell asleep. My heart is in tatters and my soul is dark for i have nothing more to give to this world i have nothing left to offer my soul is black and my heart is withered and gone so i ask why is it u stand at my coffin with blood tears in your eyes why is it u watch as my remains are lowered into the cold dark earth why is it u cry for my worthless soul ???

my soul is dying my spirit is broken my heart grows weak and yet it still calls for u . on the plains i reach for u and call for u but i get no answer i look to where u onces laid at my side and find nothing, i roam our once full castle calling and find it dark and empty why is it i have been forsaken to walk alone when all i want is to love and be loved???

my heart aches and my spirt crys out for u i am wanton for ur love and affection yet u deny it to me , what wrong is it i have done u , what is my crime that u ignore me , why is it u say u love me and need me u want me yet i feel abandoned and relplace by another i call for u and u are not avalilbe to me , i set plans to be with u and u say no not tonight ???? i love u dearly and i am fully yours yet my mind qustions are u truely mine or have i lost ur heart and favor for another???

together at night i look to u and u to me as i trail my hands against ur body caressing every inch of u , i nip and nibble lick bite kiss and suck apon ur flesh not missin a spot from head to toe, i grin as i see ur man hood spring to life against my gentle touch, i look into ur eyes and smile as i sink my fangs tinto ur neck, my beloved how i want this to stay as it is now, i pray thee keep me forever mark me as ur own..

i want for ur touch i ache for the feel of ur manhood with in the warmth and tightness of my woman hood, my wish is to be at ur side forever more will u have me my darling will u take me and show me ur wourld threw eyes anewed ????

my soul weeps and my heart aches for i have found my match yet u say to me i will not go with u , i cannot go with u if go to a new place, ill not go with u u will be as u are now alone and wanton , living in a fantasy that i truely wish to make reality , i want u with me my darling one , i want to cold u adn  make u stronger wth my love .

the sun is high in the afternoon sky i spread my wings and greet it willing ly as the sun kisses my cheeks i smile thinkin my darling my love i cannot wait to get to u i want and desire what u offer but i question does ur offer still stand or have u found another???? i want to be with u but fear lossing my others .

I am wanton for ur affection i cry out for ur love i reach for u and am left wanton and alone when all i wish to do is be at ur side to fill ur bed and ur arms with my love to be ur shining star a lady by day and ur wild cat at night, why is it i can never meet with ur approval??? why is it i can never stop being what it is i am and be good for u, i love u with every thing i have and i await each night for just the chance that u will call to me and speak my name in that special way , must i wait forever on and walk apon egg shells as i wait for u ??? i am yours mind body spirit heart and soul but are u mine truely mine ????

my love my darling once more ive found u ive shared something sweet and special with u and u dart away u leave me alone and wanton for ur touch, i reach out to family and am cast aside once more why why is it when ever i try to do right it all goes wrong??? everything i touch and love turns to shit it dies and goes away as i watch and each time i die a little more inside and out i love u my darling i love u and yet u turn from me ill be here awaiting ur return lost and alone tell u are once more at my side.

 sweet beautiful creatures of pain and addiction are we tangled together in love and hate when will we find that which we need most .

i ache i yern i want and i need i look for u i call for u yet u are distant to me will u come back will i see u why have u gone my darling my love my dark angel of the night????

my mind is a blur my body is a quiver when u are near all i want is for u to be nearer for u to be closer for we two to become physically emotionally mentally and spiritually i cant wait once weve stopped for our dance to begin again.

from the deepest depths of my soul my heart crys out to urs my body aches to be touched by your hands my spirit craves ur immortal embrace i seek u out and u find me wanton for u will u come to me again soon my darling??

 lost lonesome castout and a lone wolf once more am i searchin for my true family will i ever find my pack my place my heart aches and my spirit is weak i long for my family yet my family shuns me.

u come to me in my dreams u ravage my body and lay claim to my heart my every wakin though is of u ur eyes ur lips ur hand apon my skin and my hands apon urs as we make passionate love, will i have that which i seek ?? will u allow me that which i want most in this world and in the world of our shared dreams???

here i sit and wait for u when will u come back to me i await ur return eagerly and wantonly i want for ur arms and wings around around me to feel ur lips apon mine to feel ur hands apon my body i want for u my dearest one desperately and eternally shall i wait for u.

WAITING AND WANTON 

i lay here awake in my bed tossing and turning i check my phone awaiting any word from you ive texted a few times and patiently await an answer that never comes i lay awake and cry myself to sleep awaiting u will u ever answer me will i hear from u my soul is crushed and my heart is aching as is my body for ur touch my ears await to hear the sweet words of our play.