Icarus's blog: "Hurts to watch."

Well...
I think that's an official brush off

"just because I don't think of you in that 'special way' doesn't mean you're not an attractive and worthwhile person to meet'"

Every time.

Every fucking time...

I didn't even bargain for it. Just a club handed remark
and my retort:

if I'm so worthwhile, and thusly so attractive
what am I missing?
Because even though I admire J.D. Salinger, I'd rather not be as lonely and bitter as that man in twenty years.

Saying those things really doesn't do much for my ego
its still rejection
but its softer than a "you smell bad, gtfo"

I even told her...
when I used to do something tedius I'd daydream about giant robots, sci-fi, fantasy
I wasn't ashamed to tell her that lately
it was about her.

Don't read too much into that.
Just a change of pace.

of course
I'm anticipating that she'll "still want to be friends"

to which I say
die in a fire
that I started.