Goodbye Fubar's blog: "RANTS"

Suicide's no laughing matter and a very scary situation to go through.  Many, many times, I had thoughts of committing suicide because of the mistakes I've made, feeling like I didn't amount to anything, and feel like a major screwup in life or couldn't do anything right.  I never made any attempts but at times, I just wannted get a gun and end it all, but last night, something made me stop and think to end any of those thoughts.  I've watched a documentary of suicides on YouTube and it was really deep and hard to watch.  From what I was watching, it won't only make things worse for myself, it'll make things worse for the people you love and make them wonder why would I do a selfish act, or what did they could've done better to save me.  From the pictures I've looked at, and the phone calls I've heard of people wanting to commit suicide, or families called 911 reporting a suicide of a love one, it was really heartbreaking and hurtful.  I put myself in their shoes and thought about what would happen of somebody I'm close to commits suicide.  It wouldn't be a pretty sight and something that I would never get over.  Yes I've had a lot of negative thoughts and been a negative person because of being far behind in life & not knowing much of anything for my age, but I've learned to take life as it is and make things better for myself.  I've prayed to God many times to talk to Him about my problems and had thoughts of ending my life.  I guess that was the way of God telling me that suicide's not worth it, and that'll be a one way ticket to Hell, and that's where I don't want to go.  I wouldn't wish that on anybody, or even my worst enemy, so suicide's not the answer at all.  So if you thought about suicide or wanting to make any attempts, DON'T DO IT!!! It's not worth the risk.  Life's too precious and valuable to waist because of a temporary problem.  Pray, get help, and talked to a family member, loved one or a close friend you can trust to end any thought of it.