Just Me's blog: "A Little Lighter Stuff"

LADIES!!!!! Have I got a deal for you!!!!! Have you ever seen a Soldier walking down the road and thought to yourself "DANG! Wish I had one of those!" Have you seen a Soldier in his dress uniform and thought "Where can I get me one of them?" Have you ever seen a Soldier and wished that one would show you how he handles his gun? Well step right up, place your bids ladies. Step right up and you may very well have yourself one very SEXY, young at heart, agile, mobile, sweet, lovable Soldier. Not only will he put your picture on his page, you have the great honor and privilege of having him place your name, next to his. List of items offered--currently--are: He will be at your beck and call and rate EVERY picture, blog, and stash item you have. He will do his damndest to make sure you are at 100% FUBAR all the time. He'll make a couple of shout out bulletins for ya. He'll make some pretty danged awesome SFW salutes for you. (minimum 2, more will be added as the bids go up.) He'll leave AT LEAST (most likely MANY more) 100 Photo or Profile comments. You'll be #1 in his family, his friends, and his heart. You'll have a new crush. You will get all of this for AT LEAST 3 weeks (dependent upon internet access.) He'll be adding more as the bids go up. Don't hesitate to own one of Uncle Sam's finest! (by finest we mean he looks good, is good, and is an OUTSTANDING Soldier) Go show this Soldier love. He is a Guardian of Freedom, and the American way of life. He IS an AMERICAN SOLDIER!

Doctors (A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000. Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000. (C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171. Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health and Human Services. Now think about this: Guns (A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000. (Yes, that's 80 million) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500. (C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .000188. Statistics courtesy of FBI So, statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners. Remember, 'Guns don't kill people, doctors do..' FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR. Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!!! Out of concern for the public at large, I withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention!

Does anybody know how many rings there are in marriage? Three. The engagement ring. The wedding ring. and SUFFERING!

An old woman was sitting in her living room mourning the loss of her dear husband. As she sat holding his picture, she made up her mind to commit suicide. She thought of many different ways to kill herself. Poison. Hanging. She finally settled on shooting herself in the heart. She wasn't sure she knew exactly where her heart was and decided to call the doctor. She wanted to do this right. "Doctor," she says. "where is the human heart?" "Well" he replies "on a woman it would be just below the left breast." The old woman was rushed to the hospital later that day with a gunshot wound to her left knee.

Well ya'll, my birthday is coming up again. I'll be the big 31. 31 years on this earth. That's 11,322 days (7 leap years thus far.) That's quite a few days for me to be so danged immature. Now what do I want for my birthday? All I want is for everyone to come by and just give me love. I want everyone to come by, rate some pics, maybe a blog, maybe leave a comment. I don't want bling, don't want a blast, no happy hour, no cherry bomb, no Auto-11's, don't want gifts, flowers, balloons, alcohol (I'll have enough of that IRL). If any of ya'll are in the central Texas area, well, ya can come by and help me celebrate with a cookout. I'll provide the meat, you just provide the company. And if ya know of anyone who is needing a cuddle buddy in my neck of the woods, let me know. If ya'll think ya can, the most awesomest gift would be for me to Godfather by then, but that would be a heckuva stretch.

Well, guess what? Yeah....Now I am under 40 days. I have 37 days left. 26 days till I start clearing post. I have been busy, but took a 4 day pass this past weekend. I went to the pool on Sunday, and OH DAMN! did I get burned. I got baked, deep fried, and then toasted. Luckily I had two days to heal a bit before I had to be back at work, but it wasn't much. I have started on my second bottle of Aloe already, and yes, I did put on Sunscreen, but guess that the stuff they give out at the pool is not as effective as what I buy at the PX. Thankfully, Under Armor doesn't rub too much, and I am back to wearing it. On Friday of this week, we had our monthly MWR event, we had a tailgate party in the motor pool. We were to wear the jersey of our favorite team. Unfortunately, I didn't do laundry after I wore my favorite team's shirt, so I had to wear my Jeff Burton, AT&T shirt. I did wear an Army hat for Mark Martin since I couldn't wear the shirt. I actually got compliments on my hat. Oh yeah, and it was the first Army function where there was country music played for the music. I don't think they will let me use my MP3 player ever again. (that's what they get when they tell the set-up crew to get the music going when they start the cooking...fortunately no one else was there.) Oh yeah, and it is official. I GOT MY ORDERS! I turned in my leave form, and this Friday they are having a mass going away luncheon/bbq for me and 3 other people who are leaving over the next two months. 38 days and that cold beer better be COLD! Now if only I can find someone to buy it for me. :p

Well, another week down. I have been staying extremely busy at work. I have not even taken lunch but a couple days this week. Go to the chow hall, grab food, sit eat, go back to work. Then after work, come to my room, change, get food, come back to my room, change from shorts/civies into my swim trunks. Then I go to the pool about the time that the sun goes down. Thankfully Kristina has a lot of patience. I have been taking swimming lessons. Yes, I am 21 years old and just taking swimming lessons. I have always been able to dog paddle/frog swim but figured it was time I learned how to actually swim. Besides, it's a good work out, and I want to tone up some before I head stateside. Gotta look good. Kristina, the lifeguard, says that she has not really taught me anything, but I think she has taught me a lot. I now know how to swim, using Freestyle, the Breast Stroke, the Back Stroke, and how to float on my back. I was standing there talking to Kristina, Kirsten, and one of the Third Country National Lifeguards after I was wore out tonight, and my cell phone rang in my back pack. It was a friend I have been hanging out with on occasion, and asked if I wanted to go to the movies. I did, I wanted to see Get Smart. I had about 10 minutes to get changed and get over to the theater. Kristina had walked away, but as I was getting ready to walk out, she hollered at me. She had gotten in the water trying to help this other guy learn to float on his back. That was what he wanted as his first step to learn to swim. (he's older than me by a good bit.) She asked if I could show him how I do it. I spent the next 30 minutes trying to help Will learn to float on his back. He got it a couple of times, but would realize he was doing it and tense up and lose it. I'm supposed to meet him over there tomorrow and try to help some more. Kristina said I am now her "assistant instructor" because of how I was able to explain things in layman's terms better. She used to teach kids and Disabled Vets in Texas. Just an update on me and what has been going on for the last week. Oh yeah, and I got to drive this morning to the airbase, at 2:00 AM! Did you know that the McDonald's on the Airbase is open 24/7, and at almost 5:00 AM they do serve Big Macs. I had an order placed for a Big Mac before I left, so had to be a nice guy. Oh, and the Hot Apple Pies, dont' know what it is, but over here, they actually taste really good. I also got my replacement this week. He has been here for 2 weeks, but they are going to make him my replacement. That and I got a new supervising Master Sergeant this week. My other MSG is going to basically take a backseat and just bide her time till she leaves. For some reason, does not seem fair. I leave 22 days before she does. And since it is after midnight, 51 DAYS!!!!!!!!!

Well, as you all know, or should know, or should be finding out, I am going through a separation from my Spousal Unit of 8 years. It started out forced, and has not turned voluntary/involuntary. Today during PT something hit me. When this separation and the impending divorce are completed, what do I become? I'll always be a daddy to my boys, I'll become the hateful asshole ex-husband, but will I become single? Can I go to singles bars? Do I become a divorcer? Do they have divorced bars? Just some thoughts I had earlier. Any input? I know what the Army will say, I am divorced, but they don't recognize separation, so I know they are behind the times.