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what the fuck is wrong with me... i jsut want to sucker punch every one and there floating heart status's on myspace or there inatial + inatial=love forever crap... i feel like a grinch right now.. i know its not intentional but when they post the same thing like 8 times thats going overboard... i get it... thanks for shareing...
I seriously dont want to go out again with this company.....although i know i have to to get the experience i need..i cant waitto be able to find a local job or simply a better job with more home time...im suspose to be headed back out again tommorrow some over the weekend if latest.. and all week ive been procrastanting ugh.......i have certainly gotten myself in to something that has turned out to be something stressful instead of enjoyable and im not happy with it.. but im going to keep on trying and pushing untill more oppurtinities open up.... so keep your fingers crossed and think good things for me i really need it right about now lol...... i guess thats it i dont know when the next time you will hear anything from me will be but i hope the time goes by fast untill we meet again
♥
its offical... i leave tommorrow night for Tenn...ill be getting there bright and early on sunday so if you see me online send messages not shoutboxs because i cant type in the shoutbox messages will be easier because ill only be in Tn for about 4 to 5 days then ill be out on the road for a few weeks and will only beable to hop on my dsi if it allows me to get access where ever im at... but other than that wish me luck.. ill miss you all... but makeing money is just a little more important at the moment hahaha.... love ya'll (h)<3♥ muah
heather
i will probably be absent from here for the next 3 weeks excludeing the weekends when ill be home friday night till sunday night if you still wish to chat with me or even drop a line your best bet would to have a myspace becasue my nintendo dsi handles myspace better than fubar lol...
damn it time comes upon us fast.. ill be in sanford at the tdi wish me luck...
that is all...
www.myspace.com/envyisfortheweak
i know who i am....i know what i control...i know that life isnt simple and the world doesnt revolve around me... i know i have drama i keep most of it quiet but ive never quiet gathered as much hate for someone as i have these past few months....when will they learn.... im not a teacher..its not my job to tell people what to do with there lifes... but..when you put yourself in the position to get yelled at for not owning up to your mistakes and fuck up... when you want to talk shit about the people that let you stay with them and in that agreement that was made and then you break the agreement,more than once..you take advantage of the veichels that arent yours,when you mistreat a puppydog that you spent money on then yell at because it wants attention from you.... when you live in a room that reeks of bad odor and dog shit and piss because your too lazy to clean up after your self and yout pet.... and you wont take the better step and help around a house that you lounge in all day,when you mooch off of every body around you and have no respect for anybody but yourself and yet want respect back... fucking grow up....
I wont lie i know i can talk shit... i wont deny it.. i know im a bitch...but i only talk shit about the people that give me reason to talk shit.. the people that disrespect me and my home so far.... i think the count meter is at 2.. the 1st being ryans family who hated my guts for trying to get him away from that enviorment.. and 2 this boy...we have given plenty of people a place to stay.. and a lil ways down the line they ditch out on us..or up and dissapear... friendships dissapate and life goes on.....others they survive.. this one... i guess if u really even want to call it a friendship...its more like ti was an excuse for him to get away from granny so he could do his drugs and underage drink and act like hes tough shit... which its fuckin the stupidest thing i could ever see....
this is not the end of the world jsut because we wont take care of you anymore.. you should not expect people to make ur decisions then get pissed because were not as nice and we once were.. being nice.. you know hwat happens... we get fucked over for being nice.... but look what happend... so being controling and selfish with what we have now makes us a bunch of assholes??? hmm sounds like somebody just isnt happy because hes not getting the pitty attention... hes not getting to use peoples cars like we gave him the chance to... he took that freedom and ran.....
i know im rambleing... this here.. this blog is me venting...im so fed up and done with his bullshit and i seriously cant wait for thursday to come sooner i cant wait for this house to be better.. to be more relaxed to be more settle... everything is so high strung right now...and if i dont get this off my chest it would probably be to his face...and right now im tryin to bite my tounge the best i can
i can say one positive thing though that has come out of this experience... i have been introduced to some pretty cool people.. well they seem pretty cool and they seems to understand quiet a bit about the situtation which i appreciate that they do... and if your reading this im sry you have to read the situtation lol i jsut had to get it off my chest and get it off my mind... best way to do it is to write it out lol... so yea... alright enought with that topic.. .
thursday i have my final appointment with the workforce and should be getting my scholarship money.. so friday if i can get out there in time monday ill be in sanford doing the school.. im a lil anxious but excited at the same time i know itll go good and ive got nothin to worry about lol... and hopefully before the weekend ill beable to see my "neice" addison because im aunty heather now hehe... and ill be able to see miranda... which will be nice to ....
whats that phrase in angar managment that jack says to adam... something like goose throba??? hahahahahahaha.. alrighty... its off my chest and my mind time to have a good chill night woot.... take it easy chillens :P
got a phone call today..actually 2.. one from workforce the otherfrom tdi....tdi confirmedthat he sent the information over to workforce and workforce giving me my final steps on monday then tuesday ive got an important meeting with the lady to give me the scholarship money woot!!! so within the next 2 weeks i should be out in sanford doing the school stuff,then off to tn :D for orientation and what ever else..its about to get a lil hectic for a while.... :)
it seems like times are changeing..life is passin by...makein faces in the car window,giving that trucker the pull your horn sign...tastes are changeing with each day i discover a little something new about myself.where does this road lead anymore..i try not to worry about to far ahead,but to just try to follow the next step...ive gotten this far...
at times i feel like ill be alone forever,its not somethin i spend 2 much time thinkin about but it does pop into my head at times...i bring it upon myself i know...
im about 2 begin a new chapter in my life.im about to journey down a new road,the road i have been on has been bumpy,ive gone off course a few times and even broke down..truth is its difficult and hard to be out there and alone and im very greatful for the people in my life,im greatful for the help i receive,the generoicity*,the love..im even thankful for the things im not very thankful for..
we all change thats jsut how life goes weather its alot or a little just always hopeing its for the better and not worse...
one day who knows what will lye ahead..but if u dont embrace change,if u dont embrace the future your gonna wind up playing the same board game over and over....
its better 2 dream big then 2 not dream at all...
this system is messed up...i had my appointment to try and get a scholarship for the truck drivers institute... got in to the appointment and started talkin to the lady then she desides to tell me how the workforce place usually doesnt give that type of scholarship to people under 25....i kind of flipped out and got upset because 4-5 months ago i was told to wait till i was 21 then to come back and go through the scholarship program because thats the best way to go... but she i guess the way she put it was because nobody will hire people under the age of 25...which is kind of a lie.... and the T.D.I helps place people of any age as long as there 21 and over.... covenant the company i want to start out with will take me..so i ended up driving all the way out to sanford again because rodney(the recuiter) says he could help get things situtated... so hopefully tommorrow ill have a clearer idea of whats going to happen.. thats also if the workforce will approve me going through with it which they should hopefully... because ill have an acceptance letter from T.D.I and i should have a pre-hire from covenant too so if that goes as planned all i have to do is walk through the rest of the steps and then get goin on that school and then last but not least go to TN... why do workforce places make things difficult...
if workforce doesnt want to help me im just going to try and go through roadmaster and there program or what ever where they will pay for my school and the company will pay them back while i work with them.... the only down fall with road master is they dont put u up in a hotel for the week long stuff and id have to stay with my moms partners wife and i dont know if i could do that lol... so hopefully everything gets situtated fine and i can jsut work on the rest of the steps
you know when people move out and on there own you think that they would understand responsibility.. i guess some people should really jsut stay at home.. maybe its better for them because they want so bad to be told what to do when to do it and how to do it... some people .. pay for a dog then dont even take care of the poor thing... some people get so pissed off and use drugs as an excuse for there mental disabilities... that they run away from the confrontation and hide for 2 or more days with no regaurds to there animals ...
heres where im going to ramble on....
noone on here knows me well enough to understand my views on certain subjects...in this instance... its the subject of blameing your habits on a "disability" that appearently dont even have.. how do i know.. its because thir best friend told me that its more like an excuse to use ... .. i could care less if somebody likes to smoke weed.. hell i use to a few years ago.. but when weed becomes and excuse to use why somebody took advantage of my car and there privlidges to drive it... i tend to really stop giving a fuck....
i suspose only a few people know how i can get... appearently i was 2 nice the 1st go around so this second go around i brought out the queen bitch...im not going to sit there and listen to the same excuse of how smoking is the only thing that can calm somebody down..im not goin to sit there and listen to how they had to drive 10 mins down the road on there 30 min break to smoke... how is it that working in a fast food resturant can cause so much stress when your not even that good of an emoployee??? how is it that you can lie about your hours because you want to abuse the privliage of somebody elses car?? i dont seem to understand how someone can get so angry that they run away from a girl whios jsut telling them how it is... dont get mad at me for not being happy that ur excuse was that u went to smoke then had to go back to work... then even though checkers(where kid works) closes at 3am dont get home till after 5:30am or laters then stays out the whole day till 9-10pm next night waits an hour then desides to tell you his story...
so kid desides hes gonna stay away from the house the past 2 days...pretty much said fuck his responsibilities as a dog owner and leaves her in the room and she destroys the carpet by the door and even the carpet from the other side..... i have 5 of my own dogs who desided 2 weeks ago they werent going to get along with that dog anymore and so that spereation began... and seems to have gotten worse.....i need to find a good home for this dog is this chick changed her mind.. im hoping she still wants her..she jsut needs love and a good home shes a brendal pit probably less than 7 months old......
In more happy news ive got myeligibility appointment with the workforce tommorrow at 1:30pm so hopefully that turns out good and things will start goin my way for a change lol...
so enough with wasteing your time...
(h) later
