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So, the other day i had a conversation through the shoutbox. The conversation will remain confidential. Anyways, to sum up the latter part of the convo, I was told that I was a horrible person because I said that I had a tendancy to leave my mind in the gutter (more or less my words). I could hardly believe what I was just told. Because I'm admittingly a male with a dirty mind, I'm automatically a terrible person? I did some thinking and I now present to you the following gem of knowledge.
I am a pervert. I'm a horny bastard who will not think twice to see someone naked or flirt with someone. And guess what? I'm perfectly okay with this and I'll tell you why. All my friends and loved ones know full well that I'm a dirty bastard and they're fine with it because they know something else. I'm a nice guy. I'm a gentleman and a sweetheart. My brand of humor and my mentality are what adds to my charm. Do I force myself on people when they don't want the perversion? No. Contrary to popular belief, my horniness doesn't cloud my judgement. However, a pre-requisite to being my friend is the acceptance of the fact that I have a dirty mind and am neither afraid nor ashamed to both admit to having and to using it. Do I act horny 24/7? No, because then it would lose it's fun. Now, if you don't like the fact that I'm a horny bastard and might be prone to saying a few dirty remarks or shamelessly flirt, then here's a sound bit of advice. NOBODY IS TWISTING YOUR ARM TO TALK TO ME! If you disapprove of who I am, move on to the next person, but don't ever try to tell me I'm a terrible person because who I am isn't who you are.
and THAT, good sirs and madams, is my two cents.
No one knows who made it. The legends differ. Some say it was the Great Old Ones. Others insist nothing less than the Elder Gods could have created it. Some even venture to boldly state that it was the Outer Gods themselves, in their infinite madness, who conceived the notion that their forbidden knowledge be written down for only the most unfortunate and damned of mortal souls to find. No matter what the legends argue, they all agree on the central fact of the Necronomicon: It was never meant for the world of man.
It began it’s damned existence as Al Azif. “The Howling of Demons” is the rough translation of it’s christened name, given by Abdul Alhazred, The Mad Arab, hailed as the book’s author. Before anyone could question who or what inspired him to write it, he died a sudden and mysterious death. It was later that a scholar named Theodorus Philetas would translate it into Greek and re-christen it Necronomicon, “The Laws of the Dead.” In the year 1050 A.D. the two books perished in a burning inferno........
.....or did they?
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Sick in his bed, all Sebastian Draper could do was sleep and dream. His body couldn’t hold down fluids for long as solid food was out of the question entirely. The doctors couldn’t break the fever and were baffled by this. All they could do was make him as comfortable as possible by pumping him full of morphine to help numb the full-body pain that had all but crippled him.
Johnathan Finnegan visited Sebastian every day. It pained him to see his friend in such pain. On this evening marred by looming stormclouds, Johnathan entered the hospital and was greeted by the doctor.
“Good day, Mister Finnegan,” the doctor said.
“Good day, doctor,” Johnathan said, “How is he?”
“Not good,” the doctor replied, “His fever hasn’t broken and the pain is only increasing. I do not expect him to live through the night.”
“May I see him?” Johnathan asked.
“Yes, of course,” the doctor said.
Johnathan walked down the corridor and into the room they were keeping Sebastian in. Johnathan, for a brief moment, shut his eyes and wanted to turn away.
“Look at me, old friend,” Sebastian wheezed.
Johnathan open his eyes and looked at the man who was once his hearty, broad-shouldered friend, now a wasted away, sickly, frail shell of a man.
“Hello, Sebastian,” Johnathan said, “How are you feeling?”
“I’m going to die,” Sebastian replied, “Johnathan, sit down.” Johnathan sat in the chair next to Sebastian’s bed. “I feel I may not live much longer,” Sebastian said, “If that’s true, you must know the truth.”
“What truth?” Johnathan asked.
“The truth of what is happening to me,” Sebastian said.
A distant thunderclap grabbed Johnathan’s attention momentarily before he turned back to his friend. “Sebastian, you are sick,” Johnathan said, “You have the fever.”
“It is not the fever,” Sebastian said, “It is…them.”
“Who?” Johnathan asked.
“Them,” Sebastian answered, “I see them all around. They talk to me when I sleep.”
“Those are just nightmares,” Johnathan answered, “Bad dreams brought on by the fever.”
“NO!” Sebastian blurted out, his voice accompanied by a louder thunderclap.
Sebastian began hacking uncontrollably. Johnathan put his hand on Sebastian’s chest and pressed down, helping him to calm his coughing fits. Sebastian’s hacking subsided and he laid back in his bed.
“Not dreams, Johnathan,” Sebastian said, “Visions.”
“What are you talking about?” Johnathan asked.
“I’ve received wonderous visions of the future,” Sebastian said, “Wonderous…and horrifying.”
“I don’t understand,” Johnathan said.
“I see fantastical creatures. They tell me they are gods," Sebastian said, "They are…so magnificent. I see them here…in our world…a future world. And then…I see…”
Johnathan leaned forward in his chair, gripped by Sebastian’s words. “What do you see, Sebastian?” Johnathan asked.
“I see…death,” Sebastian said, his face draining of all color, “I see our world in ruins. I see one beast standing tall amongst the rubble. He is fearsome. Dragon’s wings upon his back…claws adorn his hands and feet…his face, a mass of feelers…He is the destroyer of our world.”
Sebastian overturned his hand to reveal he had carved a symbol into his palm. The wound was fresh and was still oozing blood out. The sight of the wound combined with another, even louder thundercap caused Johnathan to jump up from his seat.
“Forgive me,” Sebastian said, “I did not mean to frighten you.”
“What have you done to yourself?” Johnathan asked, shocked.
“It is the symbol I see when I close my eyes,” Sebastian said, his breathing becoming sporadic.
“Sebastian?” Johnathan asked, “Nurse! Doctor!”
“I know what I have to do now,” Sebastian said, his life fading away.
“What, Sebastian?” Johnathan asked, “What do you have to do?”
Sebastian flung himself forward and press his hand against Johnathan’s throat. At the same moment a blinding flash and thunderclap shook the room as Johnathan lost conciousness.
So that's the preview of the book series I'm writing, Dark Legacy, this being from the first book, Necronomicon Unbound. Tell me what y'all think.
So today really hammered home what I've been feeling for some time now....I'm on the verge of another mental breakdown.
I ain't been feeling right, i been sleeping more, i feel detached from all around, family friends and everyone in between. I find myself quicker to anger and the biggest one of all, I'm forgetting things. I forgot three appointments with financial aid that I had set, i forgot my sister's birthday, i damn near forgot my dad's birthday, had it not been for being reminded today by my mother that it was coming up. And now, I left school and drove 45 minutes to where I live only to hop out of my car and realze I'd packed up my computer in my computer bag and LEFT IT IN THE LAB! I'm typing this on my folks home PC.
This quarter has sucked. With graduation on the horizon, everything is pressing down on me at once and it won't be much longer before I snap. My fear is that I'm gonna snap at someone close to me like I've done in the past.
I should've seen it coming. It's been almost five years since my last breakdown and it happened cause I was on drugs and couldn't function anymore. This time, though, I'm clean and sober and it's still about to rip my life in half. I just hope I can get a handle on things before i break.
Well, if you're reading this, it means you might have shown interest in seeing my debut film "Havok"
if that's true, here's the link:
http://www.megavideo.com/?v=IIQSMUQJ
go and check it out. If you do, leave me a comment or send me a message telling me what you thought of the movie, what you think could have been changed, etc.
