I was talking with someone the other day about finding pieces of you in others. How you search your entire life to find the pieces of yourself that were once lost and now you must find in others. How you seek out these people instinctively because you know they hold a piece of you within them, you just need to figure out what that piece is. That made me stop and think about the way I have thought for a long time now. Before the other day I had no other way to explain my feelings on this to people, so about a year or so ago I wrote a blog on myspace about finding your soul mate. It was in this blog that I explained that I didn’t think that everyone only had one soul mate that they are searching their life for. . .that they have many, one to fit each facet of their life. I know I have so many people that I know that I have no other way to explain why we are as we are except that it is meant to be that way.
It was in this blog that I explained that each of the friends in my life that I hold so very dear to me is a soul mate of mine in some way. We connect on a level higher than what others can see. We know something about the other without ever knowing how it is we came to know this. These are the people that I need in my life, the people that fulfill me, who make me complete, who make me want to live another day. It was also in this blog that I talked about meeting people when you need them most and losing them once their purpose has been served. Yes, it was a very spiritually guided blog in many ways, different from my norm, but very enlightening and cleansing at the same time. I still feel this way of course it is just now I have another way to explain it.
I can now explain that these people are a part of me that was lost so long ago. These are the pieces of my puzzle that I need to connect in order to be a whole once again. I can’t remember ever being whole of course but the fact is that you can’t be fragmented unless you were once whole. I’ve met these people who fill my empty places in so many different places and in so many different ways. I have met them at work, on the street, at concerts, at home, and online . . . They are everywhere. I’ve been lucky to find some here close to home that I can see and speak with whenever I want, but others are further away and not as easily accessible.
The people that hold my missing pieces are just as jagged and torn and ragged as the puzzle pieces that they are. Not one of them has a straight edge or predictable curve. There is no rhyme or reason to anything that they do, they just simply are . . . Just as I simply am. I know these people when I meet them right away due to this ruggedness and rough around the edges attitude that I hold. I know that the people I find can’t be holding a piece of me if they are too straight laced. I have some people who are much more buttoned down than I am in my life of course but I also have some who are much freer than I am. We mesh together so beautifully though. Our worlds collide and sparks fly. I love these people with every ounce of me for whom and what they are and would never expect them to be anything else.
We hold the pieces of one another that the other can’t bear to hold on their own. I have found that I carry strength for many people; I am the strength that they need that they themselves do not have. I am the calm leveled headed person that others need; they can’t be rational and so I am for them. I am just plain common sense for others. I am a brain for some who can only think with their heart, so I am there to think with my mind for them. I am judgment for others because they can’t control themselves. Then there are a select few that I am just the one who will always be there to listen and take away the tears when no one else is capable.
I have friends who do the same for me and I am sure you do to, just may not have ever thought about it. I have friends that I take out drinking because they allow me the freedom to be me but with a safety net. I have friends that feel my emotions for me because I can’t always feel them on my own. I have friends who reassure me constantly because I am in a constant state of disorder and need to believe that everything will work itself out in the end. I have friends who will sit and cry with me for no reason and never tell a soul that they did so. I have friends who will stab a man in the heart with a knife just because he made me cry. I have friends who make me feel like I belong and that is priceless.
So, why all of this thinking? I don’t know, I guess because I am trying to change things in my life recently. I am trying to make adjustments in life so that I can find happiness one day. I am trying to find the last of the pieces that complete me fully so that I can move forward in life. I know that there are a few big pieces still missing and of course hundreds of little ones. I need to find the few big pieces though in order to feel whole and be comfortable with it. The entire idea in life is to be complete and content and I think sometimes I lose sight of that. I think I try to make life more about being full and happy rather than complete and content. I forget how great content can feel at the end of the day . . . To know that everything is as it supposed to be and all is well. I confuse full with complete as well. I forget that to be complete can consist of very few things in life, but to be full means that you always need more.
I guess sometimes as we age and we meet people that we never would have spoken to in the past and realize that they hold something of us in them that something new is bound to open up for us. I am ready to find my pieces and journey on into wherever I am going with whoever is going with me by my side. I’m feeling very spiritual and confident about all of this at the moment and almost sure that this is the right thing to be doing. It feels right to lay some things off to the side and proceed on my inner journey through my outward path. I’m ready to find others and bring them with me. I’m ready to see just how much this Wicked Lil Girl can endure in life before things start to go her way . . . Wish me luck all and who knows some of you may become a part of my journey.
