CrazyJuggaletteBitch's blog: "1st"

Feeling Frisky The young Farmer Brown made an appointment with the family doctor regarding sexual problems he was having with his wife. "Now listen, Luke," the doctor advised, "you have to be more loving to your wife. Give her lots of hugs and kisses. Show her how much you care." "Well, I do the best I can, Doc," the fellow cried. "You see I'm up before the sun rises, working in the field until dusk. I'm just too tired." The doctor thought for a moment and then said, "Take a shotgun with you next time you work in the field and shoot it off every time you're feeling a bit frisky. When your wife hears the noise, she'll come a- runnin'." About a month later Farmer Brown went back to the doctor.... this time really depressed. "What's wrong" asked the doctor. "Didn't you take my advice?" "Yep, I sure did, and everything was going great until hunting season started last week," moaned the farmer. "I haven't seen her since."

CREDIT CARD APPLICATIONS So you have received a credit card application? You know what it says, but do know what it really means? What it says: "You have demonstrated financial responsibility..." What it means: You're breathing! What it says: "You have no predetermined credit limit..." What it means: "We're not worried, we employ the Break Your Legs collection agency." What it says: "To apply for membership, fill out this short form..." What it means: You'll get the long form later. What it says: "You may direct us not to share this information with anyone else..." What it means: "Catch us, if you can!" What it says: "We look forward to receiving your completed application..." What it means: "We baited the hook, let's see if anyone bites!" What it says: "You've been pre-approved..." What it means: "You've been pre-approved to be Rejected!" or "We've already prepared your letter of denial."

A Mans Boob Chart . . Itty bitty titties ()() Little breasts (.)(.) Nice breasts (o)(o) Perfect breasts (D)(D) Bullets (O)(O) Handful breasts (~0~)(~0~) Stretch mark breasts o/.o/ Grandma's breasts [o][o] Breasts during a mammogram * % * Flat chest (+0(+0) Fake silicone breasts (*)(*) High nipple breasts (@)(@) Big nipple breasts oo A cups {O}{O} D cups (^)*(^) Cold breasts (>)(>) Perky breasts (o)*(O) Lopsided breasts

14 Things PMS stands for Pass My Shotgun Psychotic Mood Shift Perpetual Munching Spree Puffy Mid-Section People make me sick Provide Me with Sweets Pardon My Sobbing Pimples May Surface Pass My Sweatpants Pissy Mood Syndrome Plainly; Men Stink Pack My Stuff Permanent Menstrual Syndrome ...and my favorite one... Potential Murder Suspect

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