WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REAL JOBS
Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
"I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all
the kids to copulate me."
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New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming
season:"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
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And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say:
"I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of
the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."
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Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John
Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
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Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996:
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy
like Norman Einstein."
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Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh :
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (now
that is beautiful)
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Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:
"You guys line up alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair
up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."
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Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with
promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He
went to
prison for three years, not Princeton ."
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Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime
of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in
the morning regardless
of what time it is."
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Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining
to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to
be an uncle or an aunt." (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature
in January).
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Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player:
"I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or
apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"
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Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he
told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me
like you're spending too much time on one subject."
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Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by
Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips
responded:
"Because she is too ugly to kiss good-bye."
