COOL Quote: "Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth." ~ Buddha
Bonus Cool Quote: "You've got the sun, you've got the moon, and you've got the Rolling Stones." ~ Keith Richards
Joke of the Week: E-MOONS
We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," where:
:) means a smile and
:( is a frown.
Sometimes these are represented by
:-)
:-(
Well, how about some "ASSICONS?"
Here goes:
(_!_) a regular ass
(__!__) a fat ass
(!) a tight ass
(_*_) a sore ass
{_!_} a swishy ass
(_o_) an ass that's been around
(_x_) kiss my ass
(_X_) leave my ass alone
(_zzz_) a tired ass
(_E=mc2_) a smart ass
(_$_) Money coming out of his ass
(_?_) Dumb Ass
Bonus Jokes
Indian Message To The Moon
When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, they did some astronaut training on a Navajo Indian reservation. One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew. The old man, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question which his son translated. "What are these guys in the big suits doing?"
A member of the crew said they were practicing for their trip to the moon. The old man got all excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts. Recognizing a promotional opportunity for the spin-doctors, the NASA folks found a tape recorder.
After the old man recorded his message, they asked the son to translate it. He refused. So the NASA reps brought the tape to the reservation where the rest of the tribe listened and laughed but refused to translate the elder's message to the moon.
Finally, the NASA crew called in an official government translator. He reported that the moon message said, "Watch out for these guys; they have come to steal your land."
Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction!
On July 20, 1969, the first man walked on the moon.
When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong made those first footprints, he not only gave his famous, "one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind," statement but followed it by several remarks, usual com traffic between him, the other astronauts, and Mission Control.
Just before he re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark, "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky."
Many people at NASA thought it was a remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.
Over the years, many people questioned Armstrong as to what the "Good luck Mr. Gorsky" statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled.
On July 5, 1995 in Tampa, Florida, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26 year old question to Armstrong. This time, he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had finally died, and so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question.
Armstrong explained, "When I was a kid, I was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. My friend hit a fly ball that landed in the front of the neighbors' bedroom windows. My neighbors were Mr. & Mrs. Gorsky. As I leaned down to pick up the ball, I heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, "Oral sex! You want oral sex?! You'll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"
DISCLAIMER: According to snopes, it's an urban legend. I don't care - - it's funny!
Short Ones
What holds the moon up?
Moonbeams.
What did the man do after being found guilty of sabotaging the moon mission?
He Apollo-gized.
How do you know when the moon is going broke?
When it's down to its last quarter.
What do you get when you take green cheese and divide its circumferenceby its diameter?
Moon pi.
What do you call a clock on the moon?
A lunartick.
How does a man on a moon get his haircut?
Eclipse it.
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
It has great food, but no atmosphere.
After the Americans went to the Moon, Leonid Brezhnev announced that the Soviets would be sending a man to the Sun.
The engineers objected. "If you send a man to the Sun, he will burn up!"
"What do you think I am, stupid?" he replied. "We'll send him at night!"
