wolf hoodratNYC coder DJWOLF LUNACYRADIO's blog: "when im gone"

people who actually kill themselves never give warning or signs, those that do aren't serious but I can tell you this, Suicide is a train barreling downhill track with no brakes- it starts slow but builds into an obsession impossible to stop. You should feel honored that he felt you were the most important person in his world that he chose you to spend his last hours with- that was carefully and intentionally planned. When you are on the train you enjoy the view the speed your last hours but feel it is inevitable so you are happy and never feel the ending coming, its all preplanned and nothing can stop it, you dont want it stopped, you want it over. My roommates have no idea it ever happened to me, that I was ever on that train but I have many times and if I were on it right now, no one would know. When we refer to people we love who are gone, they want us to remember the fun we had together, to them death was just another step in life. the only predictable part of life is that it is unpredictable, you have a better chance of stopping the earth from turning than predicting or halting the events of life. Only two people can- the person on the train and the conductor and unfortunately there is only one conductor for every speeding train, and that is god.