i'm hurt, i dont know what to think.
jason has found out something i didnt tell him and i'm not sure how...
was he posing as someone else? talking to me to see what i say? i feel betrayed and i dont know why, it;s not like he wants to be with me anymore, he told me as much himself.
he took me to radio shack yesterday because i asked him if he would. he didnt seem too upset about it, i'e been trying not to ask him for anything and just keep everything running as best as possible.
i really dont like conflict.
but today and yesterday he started talking to mark again, and i dont know how i feel about that. trying to tell him what not to do and what to do, as if he held a part in his life that was somehow meaningful.
i guess that i just dont know what to say an what to think. as i was sitting in the car yesterday he asked me somthing an i had to put my sunglasses on so that he couldnt see me cry. i'm sure that he did actally see, but it was the only protection that i had, and i thought that i would us it for all that it was worth.
it's really hard to love someone, to be inlove with someone and then to have it all thrown back at you, when it used to be given back to you. he used to kiss me before he left for PT, and when he got back and before he left for work again. Come home for lunch and sneek in a nooner, then there was the i'm home now-er and whatever there was in bed that night.
He told me he loved me, that he loved me more than i loved him, he kissed me all the time, he held me even in his sleep.
now i can't bare being near him, it just hurts...
