Icarus's blog: "Hope- by any other name."

I get pretty fucking loopy, pretty fucking easily as it is
drinking on top of anti-hystamines may not have been the best plan, but there's no NCIS on right now, and there's a stupid "protection mission" on AC4FA.

I'm in no mood to protect anyone.

It's past time to start another chapter, a new story, the person I even christened this blog for is ... gone... but I guess I was dragging my feet hoping to get a few thousand more views seeing as how my original blog has the fewest posts, and still the most views... weird.

The theme and sentiment died a long time ago...
I'm reluctant to christen the next page in her name, as ... I have less of a shot with her than any others in the past.

Sure people have affairs, sure I've lured women from their boyfriends before, this one seems... bigger, but it could all be in my head, and for the life of me I couldn't tell you what I'm feeling.

Still a big broad nothing really

sensations experienced without her are getting less intense by the day... I'm being dragged further into the debt and void of other people's lives

and I have not put on pants today.

Just thought I'd pass that on.

So, new process, new blog, new mission...
How did she show up as an impossible pillar just as I was searching for a new meaning in my life?
Coincidence?
Okhrams' razor?

I always need something impossible to do...
maybe I should set out to cure cancer next time.

Might be as futile, but more bragworthy.

Maybe I just need something to punish myself with.
Something pretty, and just out of reach.

Too bad these are all assumption based on my own outside evaluation of my own unknown feelings and intentions...

I guess I'm afraid of not knowing where and what I really feel... and I can't really make a line in the dirt about nothing...

In the meantime... I made a vaguely spanish putanesca...
and I'm gonna
move
before my head gets too detached.