Here are some malapropisms from the legendary quote master Yogi
Berra. After reading these, you'll be more than convinced that
he knew how to laugh at himself.
"Baseball is 90 percent mental; the other half is physical."
When watching a Steve McQueen movie on TV:
"He must have made that before he died."
"If people don't want to come out to the ball park,
nobody's gonna stop 'em."
"A nickel isn't worth a dime anymore."
"The future ain't what it used to be."
"There's nothing like a home opener,
whether it's at home or on the road."
"You can observe a lot just by watchin'."
"Always go to other people's funerals;
otherwise, they won't go to yours."
"Never answer an anonymous letter."
"Mantle can hit just as good right-handed as he can left-handed.
He's just naturally amphibious."
"When you come to the fork in the road, take it."
After a poor game:
"I think they just got through marinating the greens."
"We made too many wrong mistakes."
"It's deja vu all over again."
When asked what time it is: "Do you mean now?"
"I usually take a two hour nap from one to four."
Testifying before a grand jury about a New York Yankees' brawl
in a nightclub: "Nobody did nothin' to nobody."
"I am going to buy a Volkswagen or a foreign car."
New York mayor Lindsay's wife, on a hot day:
"You look nice and cool, Yogi."
Yogi: "You don't look so hot yourself."
For a spring training drill, Yogi instructed his players to
"Pair off in threes."
Reporter: "What would you do if you found a million dollars?"
Yogi: "If the guy was poor, I would give it back."
After a waitress asked if Yogi wanted his pizza cut into four or
eight slices: "Four, I don't think I can eat eight."
Yogi used to work with the Yoo-Hoo soft drink company.
A woman once called and asked if Yoo-Hoo was hyphenated.
Yogi said, "No, ma'am, it's not even carbonated."
After attending an opera, Yogi mentioned that he liked it, and
added, "Even the music was nice."
"I never really said all those things I said."
Yogi's son, Dale:
"The similarities between me and my father are different."
And his most famous quote of all. . .
"It ain't over till it's over."
Learn to laugh at yourself ---- It's the best therapy of all.
Author Unknown (except for Yogi)
