VixMarie's blog: "VixTalks"

In life we all wear masks to hide behind until we find what we are really looking for, but in doing this we tend to hide our true selves and prevent what we are looking for from finding us.  If you want things in life you have to not be afraid to be yourself and go through many others that haven't found the strength to do the same.  Maybe just being real and putting down the masks you can show those looking for you what they could have easily just walked right past. Don't be afraid of who you are or not being enough for anyone else.  The one that has been searching for you will want the real you, not a you that you have created to hide behind.

First written for Vixtalks.com:

“The Fixer” is that person whom people seem to just be able to talk to.  They don’t have to offer their help cause it is just who they are and people sense it.  ”The Fixer” just has this way of knowing what is wrong and has a way of reading people.  They seem to just go with their instincts and people feel so comfortable opening up to them. “The Fixer” somehow is able to listen, analyze and turn around and give guidance without even knowing how.

All my life I have been “The Fixer”. I love helping others to work through things and find solutions. I thrive for the honor to help others find the answers they are looking for. I enjoy talking to people and listening to what they are going through in their lives and then working together to find the right path to take them on to their future.

When I was in high school I remember the day when another student that I had never met before come up to me at my locker and asked me if they could talk to me. I was a little taken back but I said, “of course, how can I help?” She proceeded to tell me of a problem she was having and I listen but also thinking to myself why would a stranger be talking to me about stuff this personal? When she finished telling me what she was dealing with she asked if I had any advice for her.  I remember looking at her with compassion and talking to here about what I would suggest she do about the situation.  I was amazed how after we talked for a bit how the look in her eyes seemed to change from sorrow to almost relief.  As she started to walk away that day I stopped her and asked, “Why did you come to me with this?” She smiled and said because people always talked about me and how I was always very open-minded and caring and there was something in my smile and eyes that she just felt comfortable talking to me.  This simple statement changed the way I saw myself, I realized that day that I needed to someday work with others somehow.

Some people see “The Fixer” as someone who takes on other people’s problems and hides from their own.  I have never been that person.  By helping others I open my eyes a little more to myself and allow myself to grow from these experiences.  We can not all learn from each other if we truly listen and stop judging each other for our flaws and short-falls.

I have another friend that I met on a social media site that when we started chatting he was going through a tough time in his life and we started talking and I shared with him my B-A-B-Y-S-T-E-P-S process.  I reminded him that he needed to take his time and not try to make rush decisions.  We talked a lot about his situation and how he didn’t want to do the wrong thing for his son but he needed to be happy himself.  I explained that if he just remembered B-A-B-Y-S-T-E-P-S it would all fall into place.  We talk frequently and it is wonderful for me to hear how well he is doing on his own with his son now and they have a fantastic relationship and that is truly because he always put his son’s needs before his own.  Most people would find it strange to get so close to people they have never met.  Have over a year now of talking to this man we have never met in person but through out communications we have become friends.  He is the first to point out that I had “The Fixer” personality.  I truly did not know what that meant until then.

I have embraced “The Fixer” title and find it an honor to be able to connect with so many amazing people and to have a small part in helping them to get through difficult times and complicated decisions.  I know I don’t have all the answers but I love being able to share my views and opinions with so many and play my part in guiding through tough and sometimes great moments in their lives.