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It is a good thing to remember the basics and we all at times need one to remind us from where we started. You see the path we take in life, the journey we take in this world some times feels really small and other times really long but nevertheless during that time we might forget who we was, where we start from and mostly, the one thing that motivates us. I will not talk about anything else here, only some basic rules for any Dom/Master that we need to keep in mind no matter how experienced we are. For those who plan to enter this lifestyle it may also be a could starting point.
1. Be Humble. There is nothing wrong to be humble. We are humans and at the end of the day we are not God. So yes, no matter how good you are in what you do just let your actions speak for you, let others speak for you. When they say something positive thank them kindly and when they make negative comment be brave to investigate if at any case there is a truth in their words
2. You ask from your submissive or slave to be patient but you should be the one to teach them patience by example. Patience is a virtue and you should be the first to hold it. When you start with a new sub she will need a lot of time (some more and some less) to learn your ways, your desires, your needs and anything expected from her. Push her to learn faster but be patient until she learn all of them.
3. Be brave and open minded. Your position as a Dominus or Master is never threatened if you have something to learn from your submissive. Give her the space to grow into your relationship and you might discover a hidden treasure. Admit what you found in her and you will strengthen your position in the relationship as long as you are honest.
4. Be Honest. Honesty is one of the pillars in a BDSM relationship. There is no way to achieve anything without it and as much as you need honesty by her side, the same and even more she needs you to be honest with her. Truth some times hurts but is always rewarding on the long run.
5. We all are humans. Do not forget that. The submissive might like to be an object, a pet, a toy or anything else far from the definition of human but at the bottom end her role is only there to serve her needs, her desires, her thoughts, her emotions, her heart and soul. So remember, you are messing with the inner world of a human and as you hate the idea of people toying with you so she does.
6. Be responsible. We all have to be responsible in this life but in BDSM a Master has to be responsible in a lot more ways than any other human in this world. You are responsible to the extend you need to say no to requests, a situation that might make her feel sad but you have to. Exactly as parents have to say no when the children want something that will harm them
7. Communicate. Many miss the real meaning of communication. Just speaking is not the meaning of it. You need to express clearly and openly who you are. You need her to do the same to learn who she is. BDSM is a relationship of knowledge. Both parts need to know deeply who the other one is. Not only their limits and desires. Everything that makes a person who he or she is. Secrets might be ok in the vanilla world (though I deeply doubt it is ok) but in our lifestyle we need to be open book to our partner.
8. Be sensitive. Surprised? Some might be. To be sensitive you need to have empathy and sympathize. It nice for her to know that you have all that you need to feel her, to feel and understand what she is going through. It builds trust and forges your bond. An insensitive Dom/Master may easily turn to an abuser. He may easily become selfish and care only for his own pleasures.
9. Be balanced. No matter what, we need balance in life. We need our silly moments and the time that we live without caring for nothing. As a Dom you need to identify when is proper to take a “break” (I do not like that word but my knowledge in English can’t help me find a better one) and share some silly moments, some fun in a childish way. To be romantic and speak with the words your heart dictates.
10. Be Grateful. The lyrics “woman be my slave, the greatest gift I can give” speak only half the truth. The same greatest give you will ever receive is her submission. If you don’t understand the submission is a gift given to a Master then your place is not in the BDSM lifestyle. A woman decides to dedicate her self to a Man, she decides to surrender to his will, she giver her submission to a Master. If that is not a real BIG GIFT then what might be? Be grateful for her gift and try to show it as often as you can.
11. Be strong. No, not strong in the way you imagine or you think I mean. Be strong to admit your mistakes, learn from them and develop your self through the process. Be strong to show your human side even your weak side. If she is not able to understand that side of yours, understand that you are not a God (even if she admires you as one) then she is not real and good enough.
As if clashing with your partner weren’t awful enough, new research suggests that hostile relationships could actually affect your fat metabolism—especially if you’ve ever dealt with depression.
In the study, 43 healthy couples married for at least three years filled out surveys on marital satisfaction, past mood disorders, and symptoms of depression. Then, researchers served them high-fat meals designed to mimic the nutritional profile of a typical fast-food meal.
Every 20 minutes for seven hours after the meal, researchers measured how many calories each participant burned. They also took a few blood samples to assess insulin (which regulates fat storage) and triglycerides, blood fats that could increase your risk of heart disease when present in large amounts.
In the midst of all this testing, researchers asked the couples to privately discuss and try to resolve at least one contentious issue in their relationships. The researchers recorded and assessed the discussions, and looked for verbal and nonverbal signs of hostility, like attributing actions to bad intentions, eye-rolling, and criticizing one another. “The arguments tend to be really reliable in assessing marriage hostility,” says study lead author Jan Kiecolt-Glaser, Ph.D., a psychiatry and psychology professor and the director of the Institute for Behavioral Medicine Research at The Ohio State University.
Related: Here’s What The Average America Male Looks Like Without Clothes On
Hostile partners who also had symptoms or a history of mood disorder burned an average of 31 fewer calories per hour, which could amount to up to a 12-pound weight gain in a year. They also had higher insulin levels for up to two hours after the meal, which stimulates food intake and increases the likelihood of obesity, according to study authors. The hostile, depressed group also had elevated levels of triglycerides.
Kiecolt-Glaser says the culprit here appears to be stress: Researchers already know that elevated levels of stress hormones can also affect your heart rate, blood pressure, immune system, and even slow wound healing. It’s no wonder stress slows down your fat metabolism as well.
If you think you’re in the clear because you’re not clinically depressed, not married, or because you eat super-healthy, think again: Kiecolt-Glaser says the results could apply to anyone in a hostile relationship, with or without a diagnosis of depression. “The idea is that if your primary relationship is going badly, what should be your major source of support becomes your major source of stress,” Kiecolt-Glaser says. Also: “A hostile relationship could certainly affect health even among people who eat healthier meals,” she adds.
Related: 10 Signs You May Need To Lose Weight
If you want to protect your body from a relationship on the rocks, your best bet is to work on improving that relationship. If you or your partner are feeling depressed (which can make a person moody, angry, and generally difficult to be around), consider seeking out clinical treatment, and/or practicing holistic mood-boosters like exercising, eating well, and seeking social support from friends and family, Kiecolt-Glaser says. And if all that doesn’t help? You might want to reconsider whether your relationship is worth the sacrifice to your health.
this is for vets who are disabled and feel your treat ment in va hospital is unfair
WASHINGTON (AP) — The Veterans Affairs Department is considering disciplinary action against more than 1,000 employees as it struggles to correct systemic problems that led to long wait times for veterans seeking health care and falsification of records to cover up delays, VA Secretary Robert McDonald said.
In an interview with the CBS News program "60 Minutes," McDonald said the VA is taking "aggressive, expeditious disciplinary action, consistent with the law" against more than 1,000 of its 315,000 employees.
McDonald said the disciplinary report given to the Veterans Affairs committees in the House and the Senate "has about 35 names on it. I've got another report that has over 1,000" names, McDonald said.
The interview with "60 Minutes" will be broadcast on Sunday. An excerpt was set to air Friday on the "CBS Evening News
McDonald's comments represent a departure from his previous public remarks. At a news conference Thursday, he said the VA has proposed disciplinary action — up to an including firing — against more than 40 employees nationwide since June. Those cases are all related to a scandal over long patient wait times and manipulation of records to hide the delays.
At an appearance Friday at the National Press Club, McDonald said the VA has taken or is considering disciplinary action against 5,600 employees over the past year, although aides later clarified that most of those actions were not related to the health-care scandal.
"We are very serious about making sure that we hold people accountable," McDonald said.
The VA has been under intense scrutiny since a whistleblower reported that dozens of veterans may have died while awaiting treatment at the Phoenix VA hospital, and that appointment records were falsified. Since then problems have been revealed at VA health care sites across the country.
The scandal led to the ouster of former VA Secretary Eric Shinseki and to a new law making it easier for veterans to get VA-paid care from local doctors. The agency has been overwhelmed by the influx of veterans from wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the aging of Vietnam War veterans and expanded eligibility for benefits as a result of exposure to Agent Orange and other problems.
Some Republican lawmakers have criticized the VA for moving too slowly to fire managers involved in covering up wait times and other problems.
But McDonald said the agency is moving as fast as it legally can. All VA firings are subject to review by an administrative judge.
"We've got to make it stick," McDonald told CBS. "We propose the action, the judge rules and the individual has a time to appeal."
What the VA is "most concerned about is caring for veterans. So if someone has violated our values and we think has done bad things, we move them out," McDonald said. "And that's why we have a lot of people on administrative leave. We move them out. We don't want any harm to our veterans."
Only one of four senior employees recently targeted for removal by the VA has been fired, a fact Republican lawmakers cite in criticizing McDonald's implementation of the new law, which gives McDonald wide authority to fire poor-performing employees and streamlines the appeals process.
Two of the targeted employees retired. A third was granted an extension allowing her more time to reply to the VA's decision.
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Follow Matthew Daly on Twitter: https://twitter.com/MatthewDalyWDC
