When you don't try to write deep things, they come naturally. When you are unaware of your surroundings, and the noises in your head, things come out easier. There are points and times when you have the ability to say what you want and mean something totally different than what comes out. Here I am sitting at my computer, my coffee buddy just leaving for work, and I am at a loss of what to say, or what to write. Do I write about what is going on inside of my head? Do I write about what we share when we are together, besides coffee and really good conversation? Do I go off topic, should I go off topic? I'm not sure anymore of what is happening with me. I'm not sure what I really want in this life. I find that there are people that come into your life at the right time, and the right place, that make you see things in a different way. That make you think a little differently, that make you re-think your current situation. They go happily to quick check and sit in the car while you stand there talking to your old friends, shouting and laughing, and in general having an amazing time. They just sit there happily listening to what the conversation is. There are pleanty of men who want to know me better, want to know what makes me tick. What makes my head spin, what makes my toes curl. These things come to those who wait it out. Who respect me and my body, who say nice things to me, who are kind to my kids and my dog. When men read my blogs, they get a chance to feel me, they get a chance to almost make love to me through my writings, they get to see the inner Rachel, the part of me that I so often hide. I don't want to always be profound, but sometimes I find it helps me meet real people. The kind of people that make me think, and make me want to shout out on the rooftops this person gets me! So I'll stay being profound at least in my writings, in person I'll stay happy, and giggly, and sweet.
