I lit a candle today.
To hold against...
it's all been said before.
Except this time, I put it against my soft, unwanted skin.
In a dark room, warmed by a single bulb against the wall. Shining benevolence on overdue bills, and seared skin.
Pictures, devoid of smiles, bearing a tiny chain burdened with a story.
Do you wear it as a fond memento of a beloved?
Or a proud trophy over the conquered?
Why don't you throw the damn thing in the lake!
How dare you leave that around your neck!
HARLOT!
WHORE!
DECEIVER!
TOSS IT ASIDE LIKE YOU DID ME!
LIKE YOU SHOULD!
JUST LIKE I DESERVE! RIGHT?
Like you deserve to remember me as I really was.
Why would you want to anyway.
Isn't it obvious, after everything you put me through
after how you...
that..
that you just don't deserve to.
Why do you get to remember?
Why would you want to.
My family hates you.
I hate you.
Probably for the right reasons.
Why couldn't you just stay my possession,
my obsession.
Why couldn't you just put in the work, to get us both to where we needed to be?
Why couldn't you just love me as I loved you?
What does it matter?
People break up.
Right- it just
H a p p e n s.
B u l l s h i t.
We know why, we know how.
I'm just sorry... that I couldn't save us.
Take it easy, it's what you do best.
Whore.
Goodbye.
Thank you for loving me.
I'm sorry, that for whatever reason
that love just wasn't enough.
I'm sorry that I just wasn't perceptibly good enough.
I'll never forgive you. I have no reason to.
And, I'll never forget
trying
so
god
damned
hard
for love,
true
and beautiful,
that I knew was somewhere in all of us.
I deserve that.
I deserve to take myself to that place again.
I just ... question
if it will ever be.
True love.
Why
where
when
how
and
please.
