Fantum's blog: "Thoughts"

For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.

Lately I've been too tired to be that man I used to be. Overwhelmed and uninspired does it matter that no one's listening. I've looked to find my place, I've searched to see my purpose served but every where that I can see people getting what they don't deserve. Cause I am what I am, I could change it all but never me. It's the pride of a foolish man but I live my life with no apologies. Convince the world I'm crazy, in truth maybe I am. But I've cut my baggage loose I shed my skin I'm a better man. No one left to pull me under no one left to drag me down. Standing on my own two feet I find the strength to stand my ground. I once dwelled on all the things in life I never had, I obsessed on my injustices until it drove me mad, and all that hatred that I felt I didn't understand. Was everything that held me down and kept me a bitter man.

The clock is ticking on the wall the world is spinning while the billions work to justify their lives. They search for meaning in their useless sense of breeding in their quest for recognition when they die. Because ego won't permit belief in our mortality so we manufactured our delusioned lie. We believe with much conviction in our useless superstition that our lives are bigger than life. The man on TV preaches his beliefs to me and says that I am doomed because I don't think like him. He asks for contributions for his sermons convolutions, in return is absolution for your sins. I watch in disbelief as people try and shed their grief because they can't accept the things that they've become. They blindly patronize a dogmatic pack of lies that tell them Jesus is their chosen one. Strictly designed for the weak of mind, not just the working man's opiate anymore. Paralyzed minds all seeking the sublime with all doubt ruled out by their faith in the divine. All of them seeking that same righteous reward. Weak of mind and born to follow, do not question the beliefs you swallow. Eternal life for your belief in man, welcome to the empty promised land. Don't think, don't breathe, don't live, just believe. With no question just devotion lifeless life living in transit

I have no interest in self-preservation, emptiness is like an old friend. I have no motive or any inclination, of doing anything for any one again. I've been the patsy, I've been the fool, I've been the scapegoat, now all of that is through. Don't want to sit and wonder when the end is near, don't want to know where I'll be in 20 years. Because I bite the hand that feeds. Easy to call me selfish, after years of nurtured apprehension. I have no shame I take the blame, no more subordination. I gave up my self-esteem for a false security, and foolishly I chased that dream, that had to be force fed to me. I play no part in hope that dwindles, reality is such a change of pace. I see things now for what they are, and reality is such a different place. Nostalgia such a waist of time, so much life left to live. I can't dwell on yesterday, I gotta take as much as I give.