Ms Kak Tease o NgC o OG's blog: "Thoughts & Emotions"

I smile I laugh I cry I break I fall apart I fall I hold back the tears I hold my breath But the feelings still stay Jumbled in my head Making me dizzy Seeing stars around my head Loneliness sadness happiness It surrounds me it embodies me With it I live, Because without it, I'd forget It involves my entire soul, my heart, my mind Tears stream down my face I wipe them from my cheeks I close my eyes and embrace it And yet I smile The sun shines thru dark clouds Shadows all around, swallowing the ground Quiet, silence, peaceful, yet sad So there I stand Tears dried upon my cheeks A soft smile, a tender glow in my eyes, a distant look I wish, I hope, I know, no , I feel You here with me still This moment, will always be here in my heart.

God do I love the feeling of Love That uncontrollable happiness When your heart pops out of your chest Just because that certain someone is in the room Their bright smile, their laughing eyes Feels as good as the ocean breeze across my face The smell of them sweeter than roses Their ora brighter than the sun and warmer than the oven Makes you speak in tongues and not one can understand I love the feeling of Love for my family, my friends, my loved ones Your all locked up in a safe jewelry box in my heart Your are like precious stones, gems, all so beautiful You make me smile so sweet Your love sweet as the old couples in the park holding hands As strong as a hurricane and unpredictable as a tornado Whisping me along and drifting around like clouds It surrounds and imbodies my soul, my heart, my mind The Feeling of Love is like Music So different in many ways yet always Great

The moon light caresses your body the stars twinkle in your eyes your lips glisten like the river your soul refreshing as the breeze your hair flowing like the leaves in the wind your voice as peaceful as the night your smile is warm as a summers eve i close my eyes i feel you close i dance around in cirlces like the squirrels playing the shadows linger around like your love in my heart my spine tingles with your touch like the cold breeze of the ocean against my naked skin the taste of your kiss i can never forget like my first cherry pie, sweet, juicy, warm, tender like a hot shower foggin up the mirrors our love together so hot i cant breathe open the windows let our romantic aroma wonder as contagious as a beautiful smile i crave for you, my hunger grows larger like dark chocolate on valentines day you tease me and i blush bright red you smile and i giggle with glee my face a soft pink color like the glowing sunset i gaze into your soulful eyes i can lose my self so easily like a message bottle lost at sea drifting, floating thru the ocean waves your soul drowns me with your melody sweet, safe, content, joy my heart flutters and skips a beat you, your love, your soul, your smile, your presence it surrounds me, it embodies me, it haunts me

Quietness, no sound no drama, no crap, just me, all me, single ... alone Happy, content..but lonely at times. I love the fact im single, do as I please Also hate the fact no one to hold me, watch me sleep So independent, confident, and happy, yet fragile the envy sets in, envy of love proud to be who i am and sad to be what i am not happy to be here but wishing I was there instead Feelings that I will be forever this way incircle my thoughts There are the days Im so involved with me My life so fulfilling and joyous That i somehow start to forget about my loneliness But always for some reason, something pulls me back And the sweetest things make me sad Im the hopeful, optimistic person, always seeing the brighter side of things Then there are the days the rain falls It falls fast and heavy and never seems to stop And I wish I could just give up Lay down in the street and just let it sweep me away But yet I make myself dance in the rain even with tears streaming down my face. Eventually the rain will stop But the thoughts still there Yet i keep dancing For I am in love, with Love For all that it is the happiness, the sweetness, the kindness the sadness, the heartbreak, the hurt it is enthralling and captivating So my hopefull optimistic self tells me One day i will feel that love I wont be lonely and someone will be in love in love with watching me sleep and it still will be quiet and happy and joyful but not alone but in this moment right now I need someone to help pick me up and help me dance in the rain as right now i just want it to sweep me away

What Inspires me ? What Inspires you ? Smiles, Frowns , laughs and giggles Children, grandparents the sun, the sky, the ocean breeze The oceans waves that crash The sound of nothing The noise of the kids playing Dogs, cats, puppies and kittens Stories, sad ones and happy ones Romantic ones and funny ones Eyes that gaze to nowhere My heart that beats Birds chirpping, squirrels playing Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter The pouring rain and thunderstorms The falling snowflakes and the snowy hills A smooth saxophone playing its jazz Feeling the beats of hip hop Dancing to all of the great sounds My body feeling the rumble of the reggae Laying in a hammock and relaxing Letting my thoughts wonder What inspires me, is everything What inspires me, is you.

You were there for me, Everytime I cried, Everytime a tear ran down my eye You kept me like a rose petal Maybe a little dry Maybe like the sky Soft and airy you talked to me Soothed me out from the droughts Which took me places out and about I think of all the good time we had Even thou you couldnt always be ther Comforting and calming me by brushing my hair You bailed me out from my endless pains I gave a person my love to gain All I achieved was a slap in my back So when I say this, dont take me wrong For I might had made a mistake But you were there, all on your own As the days go by, long and frustrating I cant stand the thoughts that I think of you Walking through the Valley of Darkness I see your shadow fall past the sunrise Look at me, there are no cries From these dreary eyes All I do nowm is hold back my tears When they're practically fears My Most feared nightmares come Not in the leaky shadows of the night But follows my footsteps left and right This dredful thing I wish it would end Dear loard, if you can, give a life for us to lend I cant walk another day with this grief Give me a hug, a shoulder to weap I have no one to call my Venus The one I weap for is my Hercules He's what I had all along Whos the one that was there for Mothers Day out Ask me who I called Mom I become puzzled reason cannot tell I love him both as mother and father My wish to you, to stay long as the sun, Will not be forgotten If fairies were true Like the ones you read to me, I would be one, to grant my own story I must be real, I must take the heat For things would not happen If I forever weaped I hope that one day you will, Tear the black sheets away from the clouds For the day will have come, with my new love He comes in black and Im in white, The day you will see, up away on a flight Where only angels sing, I breathe your fate I will always love you, to the moon, past the stars and beyond the Galaxy It has been 10 yrs to this date you took your last breath. but in my heart your heart still beats. I wish you was in here in real skin, but your memory, is in my mind. I close my eyes And hear your voice and feel your huggs. I know your love.. A Hui hou dad, Aloha wau ia 'oe Your daughter Britt "Nohea Anela" R.I.P. 06-07-97

I stare out the window, watching the rain fall. I seem to always smile, but my heart is sad. I stand in the rain so no one can see my tears. No one seems to know, the real me, who I am. I want people to know, yet I dont say anything. Content on where I am at in life But my soul not content. Its tired of being lonely, its tired of it all. Just want to dance, just want to smile. Smile because my soul is on fire. True Love is A Friendship on Fire. I want to be on fire. Instead of being wet and damp Standing in the rain.