Simply Wilddove's blog: "Thoughts and ramblings"

Can a person be a dog racist? By that I mean is that even though I am not a people racist can I be a animal racist?? Can I be stereotyped because I am not a cat person? And even though I have owned several breeds of dogs I still really only prefer the BOXER BREED.. Breeds of dogs and races of people both carry certain physical traits, charactoristics, history, different ways of being raised, different statistics, being more prone to certain health problems than others...ETC,ETC.ETC Do you believe that A breed of dog can be like a race of people ?? ....

I'm becoming terribly resigned. pretty much just life in general I'm resigned to love, and don't even know if I believe in it anymore. there's plenty of signs in my life that point to YES and I should believe, but I'm not so sure if it's going to wander my way any time soon. I'm resigned to the passage of time, I can do nothing to stop it. it will continually speed up and unless I accept it, I'll simply be drug behind it. Maybe it's not even really resign. maybe it's just apathy. I can feel that old numbness creeping back up my spine, just waiting to take over again. I hated those days. I was such a mess. I felt nothing for a months. nothing hurt, nothing was pleasurable, nothing was tolerable and nothing set me in any direction except further into complete indifference. I don't know the exact moment when it happened. but I became a former shell of myself. My inspiration has been lacking. Am I only the only person in the world who literally acts out scenarios? I'll come up with something in my head and then, aloud, I answer my role out loud. whomever is in my head reacts and I continue to run with it. it happens a lot and makes me sound a little crazy. daydreaming is a solid part of my reality. Sometimes it just strikes me how terribly needy I seem to be, how insecure and unsure of myself... I need people so badly. I mask my desire behind a cynical facade of bitterness and beneath it all...there is still a ton of cynicism...but I swear to God, somewhere in there is a heart that still beats with the fierce hope of ... something. I almost typed love...but i'm not sure if it's really what I'm looking for. I'm not necessarily looking for someone to make me happy...perhaps someone who is as unhappy as I and we can revel in our unhappiness together and somehow everything will seem OK then.

I see so much working the job I do.I see everything from couples that have been married for 30 years all the way to the quick pop one night stands.I get to watch and read people and sometimes I don't like what I see,but it is also my place to keep my mouth shut...BUT YOU KNOW ME sometimes I just can't... I can not stand to see a young girl come in with someone that you can clearly see is useing them all the while they are standing there playing dumb,or if they are not playing dumb then they are acting like the king big shyt..then there's the ones that play the innocent "Who... Me" casting THEMSELVES as the humble servant ..Yea duhhh.. I think the way we are sometimes, is made up of not just the things we go through in life but what we are around..the things we see and hear..and I think I see way to much.I don't date in RL and I don't play online because it is my choice.I keep watching people, studying them, listening to what they say,wondering how much is really ment and how much is game..I do love to joke and cut-up with friends and us pick on each other but what you read is all that goes on,, there are no private sweet sexual contacts......It's not that I am being a prude or that I am sexual repressed,cold hearted,,or a tease..WELL MAYBE A TEASE..A GIRL HAS TO HAVE ALITTLE FUN ..LOL,,But it is ment in fun not hurtful in any way. YEA,,,I THINK I JUST SEE TO MUCH

Thinking about the first time we met,the day I suprised you at your office, and how my skin danced to your touch. the second time I saw you from a distance you were standing on the corner on your way to work when it started to rain,I remember the puzzled way you smiled at me when our eyes met,just for a fleeting instant I thought you might have remembered me. Would I dare chance another meeting? How could I arrange such a meeting without you being supicious? hmmmm..the office is out,so is a chance meeting of me running into you.. .let me see now. I know you take meetings outside the office ,,hmmmm ,,yea! that might just work.... After I get the time and place arranged next step to call your secretary to set up the appointment with you,and inform her that there will no need for you to take a taxi that I would send a car to pick you up.{That way no muss no fuss you are delivered to my door}hmmm ok that'll work.. I have decided that at this meeting that I am going to be the one in complete control and that I am not going to deny myself any of my deepest fantasies.I want to kiss you so deeply that I pour into you and and we are made into one. I have waited for a long time to hear your voice again, to hear you hiss my name the way you did so many nights on the phone..But this time it is going to be different, This time I want you to crave me, to serve me, my aches,my needs,my wants. I can hardly wait to see you bound and on your knees,and hear you beg to be my little pussy boy ..... My Slave MARY

If someone asked you to describe yourself what would you say to them?? How could I put into words that the person I am now at this moment is not the person that I was yesterday and its not the person I will be next week..next month or next year..Without sounding like a nut case..lol.. I am forever changing..I do not use the term personal growth,{that shit is to much work}grin but I do keep a open mind to new experiences,new cultures,new religions..My mind is constancely evolving,new doors opening up to me everyday. Right now this very minute I would simply have to describe myself as......A forever changing woman with a kind heart and a mischievous mind...

For me It all started out as a game, like that of a innocent childs game of tag,but some how this game was different and nobody explained the rules...if there were ever any rules for this game to begin with,,Thinking back now how was I to know where this was going to take me,, to me all I knew that it was exciteing and I so wanted to play. I was shy and not at all sure of what I was doing at first,I tried to hide the fear/desire from him, but he knew,for he had played this game several times before. and before long he had eased my mind with his soft words and some how,, as if I was born from it,, the game started to take its shape inside me,simply,naturally as if I had came home from another place, another time.The game now was where I belonged,and I surrendered myself to it with total abandonment when he asked...Do you love me? and I faintly whispered "Yes"

Don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by the face I wear. For I wear a thousand masks, masks that I am afraid to take off and none of them are me. Pretending is an art that's second nature with me, but don't be fooled. For God's sake don't be fooled. I give the impression that I am secure, that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without, that confidence is my name and coolness my game; that the waters are calm and I am in command, and that I need no one. But don't believe me, please. My surface may seem smooth, but my surface is my mask, ever-varying and ever-concealing 'Neath this lies no complacence. Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, and aloneness. But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know. I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear of being exposed. That is why I frantically create a mask to hide behind; a nonchalant, sophisticated facade, to help me pretend, to shield me from the glance that knows. But such a glance is precisely my salvation. My only salvation. And I know it. That is, if it is followed by acceptance, if it is followed by love. It is the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself, that I am worth something. But, I don't tell you this. I don't dare. I am afraid to. I am afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance and love. I am afraid you will think less of me, that you will laugh at me, and that you will see this and reject me. So I play my game, my desperate game, with a facade of assurance without, and a trembling child within. And so begins the parade of masks, and my life becomes a front. I idly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk. I tell you everything that is really nothing, and nothing of what is everything, of what is crying within me; So when I am going through my routine do not be fooled by what I am saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I am not saying. What I would like to be able to say, what for survival I need to say, but I can't say. I dislike hiding, Honestly! I dislike the superficial game I am playing, the phony game. I would really like to be genuine and spontaneous, and me, but you have got to help me. You have got to hold out your hand, even when that is the last thing I seem to want. Only you can wipe away from my eyes that blank stare of breathing death. Only you can call me into aliveness. Each time you try to understand and because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings, very small wings, very feeble wings, but wings. With your sensitivity and sympathy, and your power of understanding, you can breathe life into me. I want you to know that. I want you to know how important you are to me, how you can be the creator of the person that is me if you choose to. Please choose to. You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble, you alone can remove my mask. You alone can release me from my shadow world of panic and uncertainty; From my lonely person. Do not pass me by. Please . . . do not pass me by. It will not be easy for you; a long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls. The nearer you approach me, the blinder I strike back. I fight against the very thing I cry out for. But I am told that love is stronger than walls, and in this lies my hope. Please try to beat down those walls with firm hands, but with gentle hands for a child is very sensitive. Who am I, you may wonder? I am someone you know very well. For I am every man you meet and I am every woman you meet. _________________ by Charles C. Finn

My child ,I am the tears of your heart, I am the laughter in your mind, I am the maker of your dreams, , I'll sing you songs to make you hear, For my truth resides in the trees, and in the wind ,...my little one you were born of mystery and magic, in a kindom far far away...And a brave knight stands over the garden to protect you his warrior princess, with the sapphire eyes, big, patient and blue.And all around you enchanting fairries dance; so unconcerned, uncaptive, innocent and free! .Even the Shimmering fairies that bath in the forest of magic,knows ,that no lord or Elf prince will ever be able to capture your heart. Written by Mary Lee

I want to start out by Expressing my deepest condolences to the families of Virginia Tech and everyone else affected by this horrible tragedy. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I can hear the gun control coming,,I can see this as the next platfrom for people against guns..I can not express strongly enough that it is the person not the gun that is to blame,or better yet with this boys mental history I think the college is as much at fault here as the gun. Yes I own a gun several as I have stated before and no I would never go out and take a innocent life,and I really don't see my guns jumping out of the gun case and going out on their own to hurt anyone.I know you are going to say ..guns kill well Sweetie so does the human hand as a matter of fact I have not heard of to many serial killers that have used guns,and to the people who support gun control why don't you go and talk to a woman that is afraid to leave her home because she was raped at knife point how much safer she would be if they got rid of guns...BULL-SHIT.. I'll tell you what I will do for you people who want gun control..LEAVE ME YOUR NUMBER,,So the next time a rabid racoon comes up in my yard I can give you a call to come and knife him to death..or figure out a way to humainly relocate it.. This I found on the net and I just want to say if a person is going to kill then they are going to kill..gun or no gun Women Against Gun Control 2A Educational Forum City sees sharp rise in knife crimes Date: Mar 29, 2007 7:30 AM PUBLICATION: Calgary Herald DATE: 2007.03.29 EDITION: Final SECTION: City & Region PAGE: B8 ILLUSTRATION: Colour Photo: Calgary Herald Archive / While gun crimes weredown 6.5 per cent in 2006, the number of knife-related offences went up 12 per cent. ; BYLINE: Jamie Komarnicki, with files from Sarah Chapman, CalgaryHerald. City sees sharp rise in knife crimes The number of knife attacks in Calgary shot up last year, according to the latest crime statistics, leading police Chief Jack Beaton to question whether gangs are trading in guns for knives. Knife-related offences hit 815 last year, up 12 per cent from the 728 offences recorded in 2005. After a spate of summer shootings last year, police stepped up efforts to combat gang violence -- a campaign that seems to be working, Beaton said. Firearm usage decreased by 6.4 per cent last year. "We seem to have suppressed that (firearms), but then we see the knives issue go up, so the question is, Have they traded their guns for knives? We've had a lot of knifings in our city over the last couple of years," Beaton said. "It's not something we want to see. It's violence in our city that's not acceptable." Overall, both weapon usage and weapon attacks causing injury decreased slightly last year. But Ward 12 Ald. Ric McIver said sharp increases in knife crimes should be taken seriously, citing public education and stricter penalties as possible measures. "Any good feeling we have about less gun crimes is taken away by knife crimes," said McIver, who sits on the police commission. "I take no comfort in the weapon of choice switching from a gun to a knife." Another concerning trend, McIver said, is the number of car thefts, which skyrocketed by nearly 44 per cent last year. There were 45 homicide offences in Calgary last year as compared to 39 in 2005. Those figures includes murders, attempted murders, criminal negligence and other offences causing death. Beaton said homicides are one of the more "volatile" statistics. The Second Amendment IS Homeland Security !

I come to you in the dark of night ,,I know I shouldn't be here,,,it is not yet our time . but I can't help standing here by your bed ,watching you sleep.There have been so many nights like this through the years and I have often wondered if you knew I was there...I was the very first one in this world to gaze into your eyes... right from that moment I knew that our souls were forever tied..'We are all given to this, that feeling that creeps onto our lives,,, that moment when our Old Souls are discovered......When we realize that perhaps we are different....It is not an awakening, it is not even a discovery....It is simply a different way of seeing',,For we are old souls,, We seem to know our way to each other without knowing,,Though many women have walked through your doors,still It was me you slayed the dragons for,,And me that has died from a broken heart, when it was your turn to depart before me.. We have been through all the mistakes and sorrows of a 40 lifetimes, and yet we still have learned nothing .. As I sit on the edge of your bed ,I engrave every line on your face in my mind, wondering what you are dreaming.Tonight you are restless,as if you are desperately searching for your way home, I hate to see all that pain built up in you. I reach out to comfort you...My fingers touch your face ever so lightly so as not to awaken you.God I love watching you sleep.. thinking of how your resting eyes tell me all the things you do not allow your self say aloud. Somehow I know that I must leave you now,and the thought tears me apart.. if only once you could see me,,feel me,,but before sliping back into the night shadows from which I came...I lean down and touch your cheek with my lips and whisper I Love You .. Someday we will reunite...I am sure of it... BY ,,MARY LEE