1. Never do housework. No man ever loved a woman because the house was spotless.
2. Remember: you are known by the idiot you accompany.
3. Donft imagine you can change a man - unless hefs in diapers.
4. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
5. So many men - so many reasons not to date any of them.
6. If they put a man on the moon, they should be able to put them all there.
7. Tell him youfre not his type - you have a pulse.
8. Never let your manfs mind wander. Itfs too little to be let out alone.
9. Go for younger men. You might as well. They never mature anyway.
10. Men are all the same. They just have different faces so you can tell them apart.
11. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
12. Women donft make fools of men. Most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
13. The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.
14. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
15. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
16. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldnft ask for directions.
17. If he asks what sort of books youfre interested in, tell him checkbooks.
18. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his.
19. Sadly, all men are created equal.
20. When he asks you if hefs your first date, tell him gYou may be, you look familiar.h
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We always hear gthe rulesh From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!!!
Please notec these are all numbered g1 ON PURPOSE!
1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. Youfre a big girl. If itfs up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You donft hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. Itfs like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Even obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. Thatfs what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you wonft dress like the Victoriafs Secret girls, donft Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think youfre fat, you probably are. Donft ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say gnothing,h We will act like nothingfs wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
