Take me from this dusty shelf
And return me to my former self.
I'm trapped in fan fiction stories
Which give no justice to my former glories.
How dare you subject me to bad grammar and spacin'?
And make me lose to that punk bitch Jason?
Haven't you learned from my box set?
I'm the best fuckin' killer yet.
I'm sadistic, I'm ruthless(but charming!), and cruel,
I make the kiddies scream, but the ladies drool.
No matter what the year, I'm hip
With my shiny blades and a well-timed quip.
Let me live again in heart and mind
As I make yet another glorious find.
Let me in, my pets, into your Dreams
And hear the dulcet tones of your final screams.
Give me another Nancy, another Tina, or Rod
Don't you know I'm your celluloid god?
When are you little shits gonna see?
There's not another bad-ass around like me
So take me off this dusty shelf
And return me to my former self.
Let me return to the darkness of your heart
And tear the fabric of your soul apart.
If you give me the terror of your plight
Then I'll be seeing you tonight.
Sleep again, my children, and hear me well
Tonight I'll return to drag you all to hell.
