Muerte Bella's blog: "Ramblings"

There was a little boy with a bad temper. His wise father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, to hammer a nail in the back fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Then it gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the now older boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share a word of praise, and they always want to open their hearts to us. Show your friends how much you care by learning to control your anger and your tongue. How many times do we say things in anger and haste not realizing that the affects of our words may scar others? We must think before we act and choose our words carefully. The person who said, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" must have been living in a fantasy world! Words are a powerful tool. They can hurt as much as a physcial blow or even more, depending on who delivers that blow. It is even worse when you fight with a love one! There's a saying "You'll always be my best friend. You know too much!" We may giggle over it but it holds alot of truth. Your loved ones are the ones who know you best - your good times, bad experiences and deep dark secrets. This is what creates the problem. When you have an argument with a loved one, there is a tendency to pick on those deep dark secrets and throw it back to their face. It is not because you have a malicious intent but you just want them to hurt as much as they've hurt you, and in doing so, you may say something that you will live to regret and eventhough you may apologise for saying it, the damage is done. You can never take back those words once they leave your mouth. This could cause a mistrust to form between you and that loved one. They may never ever trust you again, and worse case scenario...they may decide to sever all ties with you. After all, what kind of relationship let alone friendship can there be if there is NO trust... So next time you're having an argument with a loved one, walk away if you don't think you can hold your temper or more importantly...your tongue. Go have a smoke... or get some fresh air...or whatever you need to do to clear your head. Do NOT attempt to try and resolve the issue whilst your still a hot head...because all you're going to end up doing is make things worse...or create ANOTHER problem. Take the time to cool off...even if it means not talking for one or two days before you regroup to settle the matter at hand. It may just be the thing to help save your relationship/friendship.