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What are you waiting for?
That perfect someone. Isnt that what we all want? Love and to be Loved. Most people have been in love or had feelings of love for someone. But when you get hurt by someone that you feel those strong feelings it makes you question love and makes you doubt yourself and the feelings you felt from that person and the ones you gave in return. Love is the all end all of everything right? The crazy and amazing things people do when they are inlove or love someone period. So why is it that we all usually have to learn a hard lesson when it comes down to being hurt by that person in which we loved.... I believe we go through these world devastating and crushing to find the pure truth of love.
I belive the truth of love has more meaning than people originally think.
When you truey love someone and are loved back in the same manner, the other person is always put first in actions because love is more than a feeling but an action. The actions I speak of are more simple than complex even though love always seems to be complex and perplexing most of the time. Caring gestures, embracing touches, looks, understanding and listening, motivation to be positive, compromises. These seem to be small challenges and I say challenges because alot of people dont listen after awhile which seems to be the most difficult obstacle at times in any serious relationship. When people are first together there is that overwhelming feeling of love and happiness. You explore and learn each other and become more interested about another person than you ever have, conversations seem fresh and new and at times go on for long periods because you are creating a bond. Every touch seems more sensitive and makes you that ever more curious. You feel an indescribable pulling to be around that person and build those bonds between you and the other person starting the base for trust, honesty, security, greater self esteem, and of course love. The only problem that arises after time as things do these traits shared at the beginning seem to wavor and fade even if they are still present because the gestures start to become spaced out which is normal but sometimes they fade beyond wanting to because there is no reinforcement for these over the long duration when they are shown. And in alot but not all relationships the intamacy that seemed to be something special shared between the couple starts to be the only pillar supporting the feelings and is a poor substitute for the act of showing the feelings of love you have for the person. Intamacy should never become what seems to be the only source of enforcing the feelings when the gestures and acts of acknowledgement that was present in the beginning arent showed like they should be. Intamacy should stay the same positive reinforcement that is bestowed in a relationship as a special bond between a couple that show the same reaccuring appreciation for their partner as in the beginning of the relationship when the euphoria was enough.
Now when you have those strong bonds with another person you know that you would do anything for that other person just as they would do for you. When these strong bonds are present in a relationship, hardships faced become something that is overcome easily when the two people face it together with the understanding that it is two agaisnt the world and no matter what situation happens they will face it hand in hand to achieve the same goal. With this mentality even distance doesnt hinder the chioce to put the other person first, even if it was needed by the other person to drop everything and travel any amount of distance to be there for the other person for any reason.
Appreciation is probably another big thing in relationships, most people dont receive the kind of appreciation that is deserved but never demanded. Its sad to say but this is a poison in any relationship. If one person becomes less appreciated it changes or modifies the persons ability to want to recipricate the feelings and emotions back associated with appreciation and self value to another.
Trust and honesty heavily rely on how strong of a bond that is created with the other person. In alot of cases many people have skeletons or regrets which they feel they should never disclose to anyone ever for the feelings of being exposed as something other than how they would like to be seen as. This leads to lies compounding other lies because of the feeling of being rejected by the other person when the expectations arent what they thought.
In summation we want that perfect person that we know will give us the admiration of love and the respect of appreciation that gives us that feeling of security. The trust that they wont leave our side even through hard and easy times, that they will understand us for who we are and not judge but accept our strengths and weaknesses. Someone who we can love and be loved back with equality.
QUESTION...
LONG BEFORE WE MEET OUR MATES, WE HAVE AN EXACT IDEA IN MIND OF THE PERSON WE WANT TO SHARE OUR LIVES WITH, SO WHAT DO WE LOOK FOR IN POTENTIAL PARTNERS? INTELLIGENCE, SHARED VALUES, MUTUAL INTERESTS, CHARACTER, PERSONALITY?
NO ONE WANTS TO BE ALONE IN LIFE, WE WANT TO CONNECT AND SHARE OURSELVES WITH ANOTHER INDIVIDUAL THAT WE CAN CONFIDE IN, TRUST, BE HONEST TO, CONVEY FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS WITH. SO WITH THAT IN MIND WHEN WE GET A TASTE OF THIS HEALTHY ADDICTION WE TRY TO FIND IT IN EVERY MEANINGFUL ENCOUNTER WITH POTENTIAL PARTNERS WE ARE ATTRACTED TO. ON AVERAGE MOST RELATIONSHIPS LAST ANYWHERE FROM A FEW MONTHS TO A COUPLE YEARS. SO WHAT KEY FACTORS PLAY INTO A RELATIONSHIP NOT LASTING OR LASTING?
THERE ARE SIGNS THAT CAN INDICATE THAT A RELATIONSHIP WILL BE LONG TERM; THE ABILITY TO DISCUSS PROBLEMS AND DISAGREEMENTS WITHOUT FIGHTING, ALLOW EACH OTHER TO HAVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS AND STYLES, RECOGNIZE AND ACKNOWLEDGE SERIOUS DIFFERENCES WITHOUT LAYING BLAME OR MAKING ACCUSATIONS, MAKING WANTS KNOWN, HEAR AND UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER EVEN DURING DISAGREEMENTS, FIND TIME TO COMMUNICATE ON A REGULAR BASIS, WORK TOGETHER AS EQUALS, AND EMBRACING EACH OTHERS CHANGE AND GROWTH. IF A RELATIONSHIP DOESNT EXHIBIT THESE QUALITIES THAN CHANCES ARE THE RELATIONSHIP WILL BE TROUBLED.
THE OLD ADDAGE IS TRUE, IF YOU CANT COMPROMISE AND HAVE GOOD COMMUNICATION THE RELATIONSHIP WILL NEVER WORK. SAME GOES FOR HAPPINESS, IF EITHER PERSON ISNT HAPPY OR ONE PERSON IS ALWAYS SACRIFICING THEY'RE HAPPINESS TO MAKE THE OTHER PERSON HAPPY IT STILL WONT WORK.
MOST MEN AND WOMEN WHO ARE LOOKING FOR LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS MAY HAVE AN UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS AND WILL FAIL TO REALIZE THAT RELATIONSHIPS DONT HAPPEN OVER NIGHT BUT TAKE TIME. COUPLES NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT THEY WILL HAVE TO GO THROUGH LIFE MAKING CHANGES IF THEY WANT A SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP. THE INITIAL PERIOD OF ADJUSTMENT TO EACH OTHERS DIFFERENCES OFTEN WRECKS NEW RELATIONSHIPS MAKING IT EASIER FOR PAST RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHER PARTNERS SEEM MORE COMFORTING FOR THE FACT THAT THEY ALREADY FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH THE PREVIOUS PARTNER.
ANOTHER TRUTH ABOUT PEOPLE LOOKING FOR A STRONG AND LONG LASTING RELATIONSHIP IS FINDING SOMEONE WHO IS MORE LIKE YOURSELF, SAME INTERESTS AND VIEWS ON SUBJECTS. WOMEN CURRENTLY OUT NUMBER MEN 6 TO 1. MEANING MEN HAVE AN OVER ABUNDANCE OF POTENTIAL PARTNERS TO FIND THE ONE WHO BEST SUITES HIS NEEDS AND LIFESTYLE ON THE BASIS OF SIMILARITIES BOTH PEOPLE SHARE. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR WOMEN? WOMEN HAVE A HARDER TIME FINDING A MONOGAMOUS PARTNER. TO INCREASE THE LIKELY HOOD OF FINDING AND KEEPING THE IDEAL POTENTIAL PARTNER WOMEN CONSISTANTLY MAINTAIN AN ATTRACTIVE AND APPEALING IMAGE TO KEEP THE PARTNER INTERESTED IN BEING MONOGAMOUS. SO THE OLD SAYING IS TRUE, A MAN CHASES A WOMEN UNTIL SHE CATCHES HIM.
ITS FUNNY, PEOPLE HOLD ON TO THE LITTLE THINGS THAT THEY THINK MAKE THEM WHO THEY ARE, AND YET IT DOESNT. VERY ATTRACTIVE WOMEN BELIEVE THEY HAVE TO BE WITH AN ATTRACTIVE MALE TO SHOW THEIR STANDINGS IN A SOCIAL CLICK. BUT AFTER AWHILE THEY COME TO FIND OUT THE HARD WAY FROM BEING TREATED BAD TO BEING FORGOTTEN OR NEGLECTED TO BEING BEATEN OR WORSE. MEN AND WOMEN ARE BOTH THE SAME IN THE HABIT OF BEING CREATURES OF HABIT, WOMEN LOOK AT MEN AND SEE THEIR SEX APPEAL, THE MANNER IN WHICH THEY DRESS AND TAKE CARE OF THE WAY THEY PRESENT THEMSELVES, IF THEY TRIM THEIR NAILS REGULARLY, HOW THEY SMELL, HOW THEY LOOK AT THEM... NOW THIS ONE IS KINDA A MULTIPLE PART ONE BECAUSE THE WOMEN WANT TO BE SEEN AS BEAUTIFUL AND WANT A MAN TO SEE THAT SO MORE THAN A DEEP BUT QUICK LOOK SEEMS TO BE CROSSING THE PERSONAL LINE OF JUST LOOKING. BUT NOT ENOUGH LOOKS AT THEM FROM A MALE THEN THEY SEEM UNATTRACTIVE OR REGARDED AS NOTHING MORE THAN ANOTHER FEMALE AND THIS MAY SEEM UNIMPORTANT YET IT IS A SELF ESTEEM THING FOR WOMEN, BEING ATTACTIVE AND BEAUTIFUL IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR A WOMEN WHO WANTS TO BE NOTICED TO FEEL BEAUTIFUL, SO WOMEN ARE ALWAYS LOOKING AND MEASURING UP THE THINGS THAT THEY MAY NOT REALIZE OR MAY BE AWARE OF IN A MAN TO HELP THE SELECTIVE PROCESS OF FINDING THAT PERFECT MATE THEY CAN FEEL SURE THEY CAN HAVE CHILDREN WITH EVEN IF THEY DONT WANT CHILDREN.... ITS A NATURE THING IN US ALL.. NOW MEN.. WHAT WE LOOK FOR IN WOMEN IS THINGS THAT EXCITE US MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY, BY THIS I MEAN THE LITTLE THINGS WE LIKE... EYE COLOR, HAIR COLOR, SIZE AND SHAPE, ALL ASPECTS OF FEATURES, BUT ALSO WE LOOK AT THE CHARACTERISTICS THAT A FEMALE MAY HAVE.... CLINGY, GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR, INDEPENDENCE, NURTURING ABILITIES, MANNER IN WHICH THEY TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES, MOODS, RESPONSES TO DIFERENT OPINIONS, THE WHOLE OUTLOOK ON THINGS THEY THINK OF AND THE WAY THEY ACT. NOW BOTH MEN AND WOMEN ARE MORE TARGETED TO THE ATTRACTION THROUGH APPEARANCE AND THE WAY THE OTHER LOOKS..... THIS IS GOOD BUT IT IS ONLY INSTANT GRATIFICATION AND NOTHING MORE AND WHEN THE LOOKS GET OLD AND THEY HAVE SEEN THE SAME FACE A THOUSAND TIMES THEY BECOME LESS INTERESTED IN ONE ANOTHER LEADING TO QUICK RELATIONSHIPS OF JUST SIMPLE GRATIFICATION AND IT LEADS NOWHERE. NOW WHEN PEOPLE GET OVER THESE THINGS BY EITHER LEARNING FROM MISTAKES BECAUSE THEY WERE TREATED BADLY OR THEY SEE THE EFFECTS OF A LONG LASTING AND HAPPY RELATIONSHIP THEY START TO RELIZE THAT LOOKS DONT AMOUNT FOR MUCH WHEN THEIR HAPPINESS IS TO BE SACRIFICED FOR IT, CAUSE WHETHER IT TAKES ONE DAY OR FIVE YEARS THEY WILL LEARN THAT IN ORDER FOR SOMEONE LIKE THEM TO BE HAPPY THEY HAVE TO GIVE UP THEIRS AND IT ISNT A FAIR TRADE FOR SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO BE TRUELY LOVED FOR AS LONG AS THEY WILL LET SOMEONE LOVE THEM AND WE ALL WANT TO BE LOVED RIGHT. SO LOOK FOR HAPPINESS NOT THE PERSON WHO EVERYONE WANTS, FIND THE ONE WHO WANTS YOU FOR YOU NO MATTER WHAT AND THAT YOU KNOW WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY AS YOU WILL THEM.
