...When we first met, first touched, the connection, the bond, it was magic, like nothing else I could compare it to, and it was you, and me, simply chillin', talkin', connectin' and affectin' each other's minds and thoughts, doing things we ought not, growin' in a way that only you seem to portray just the right things to say to me, to help direct my steps, lighten up the path, but disaster seems the forecast, and the aftermath was a broken heart and broken dreams, I played into the game and the little schemes, blew all the good things we had, I know I made you mad, made you feel betrayed, but thats how I got played and it felt like I lost control for a moment, and you let me go, without even my shadow, to fall, and into the darkness and anger I fell, this living Hell, and where do I go from here? You taught me fear, not of death, or blood, or pain, but the love of a woman who will drive you insane, to the point, the edge, the brink, almost couldnt think straight around you, but thought I knew it all, thought Id made the right call, and we would work and grow into something, but a stupid wrong conversation led us to nothing but hurt pain and anger, and now its all a blur, and it still haunts my thoughts, my fallen angel, you saved me in the moment I was weakest, but alas I clung too tight, and you were right, you and I werent ready to keep it committed and slow and steady, and two wounded hearts, such as yours and mine, though for comfort and learning we matched just fine, but the life you were seeking, and the love I was dreaming, was all too much for it, it seems, and without even much time those dreams turned into screams of hurt from the soul of this boy, I had to grow up, and I lost that joy and spaek that I thought Id found with you, sorry I couldnt be the man to make your dreams come true, but I still remeber the little angel, who has grown so big I see, and Im glad to know you love her more, that you could ever again even think of me, but though I might disgust you now, and Im sorry I betrayed the trust, I know you love that lil girl, and Im glad you still have her in your world, where she does belong, even though Im long gone and sometimes miss you both, and that short time that we had, but then again Im glad for what I did encounter, you were but a blur, and a good teacher for new paths, but please for now try sometime to alay the wrath and bitterness you may feel toward me, please just let the past be, and if ever again you think you might pretend to be that good girl who can mend the heart with just well put words, and a heart like yours, show a little compassion, if you will, I would kill to fix thing, somehow, 'cause the who and where and what and how that my life is now is getting a little much, need to ease up on the rush of the rat race, take some spavce to clear this mind, the one you taught me to appreciate and use, and the styles of yours I stole and abuse, but you got the juices flowing, and now my muse sometimes gets going, and my soul comes thru the pen, time and again, onto the paper, and I wait for this one gift I have to draw people back, lead me down a path of redemption, and some positive attention will take me where I should maybe go, but where is that? I cant turn back, need to just follow thru, what good I did learn from you, and be true to myself, but I still feel I let you down, and Im sorry, its not easy, but you were my saving grace, if even only for a long ago day, but I thank, and hate you at the same time, but maybe the fault is mine, and so for now I will set this aside, ease back on the tide of emotion I have built up, you left me unloved, and maybe I deserved it, but I need to get a grip, so goodbye to the ghost of who you were, once again I aloow the blur to take you away, maybe someday...
