So, last night, after learning how to count shots in Mexican ("One-Tequila, Two-Tequila, Three-Tequila, Floor"), I started to leave the bar and noticed a cop circling the parking lot like a vulture, stalking his prey.
My drinking buddy for the night barely made it out of the parking lot; he was on a beautiful black-and-chrome Harley, but was having problems staying upright - in fact, I had to help him lift it back into position. Damn, those are heavy. He did earn a facial cut for his trouble, however, as his head met the windshield of his bike on the way out.
After helping him up and making sure he was vertical for the remainder of his sojourn, I went back to my car and saw the same policeman, in his car, headlights on, and waiting. Mine was the last car in the lot.
I could smell a setup a mile away.
So, I went into my car, grabbed a couple of things, exited my car, and started to walk home.
No DWI for me. 'kthxbai.
The trouble actually started today, however, when it came time for my sober self to go get my car. While the bar was within walking distance (anything is, really, if you're willing to walk long enough), I didn't feel like braving the heat to make the trek on foot, especially with my feet in the condition they're in (damn neuropathy). So, I picked up the phone and dialed a taxi company based in Dallas.
"Sure, we'll be right there - give us 20 minutes," they said. That was at 3:30.
4:15 came around. The cab, however, did not.
I called them back. "Sir, I show this ticket in 'No Trip' status. This means the driver arrived, didn't see you, and left."
"I've been standing here the whole time," I shot back. "Besides, didn't you tell me he was going to call my cell phone?"
"I'm sorry about the mishap. I'll send him back."
4:55. I called again. I realized that had I walked, I'd have been back with my car by then. "Where's the cab? Is he coming?"
"Sir, I'm showing his trip marked as 'complete.' This means he came and got you."
"Ummm..." I started to question the logic for a moment. "No, he didn't. I'm still here, at my apartment. No one showed, and no one called."
"OK, sir... I'll send you another cab. Rest assured, he will be written up for this."
I almost said, "Make sure you slap him really hard on the back of the wrists before you send him out again." However, my humor lately has been lacking. Ask any woman.
When 6 pm came and went and there was still no cab, I called a different company. "Oh! Yeah, I know where you are. You're in that new complex they built last year..."
Score.
"... so, what happened? Ya left yer car down there at the bar? ... Yeah, I know them cops... stalkin' ya, like a vulture, just a-waitin' fer you to commit to backin' outta yer space so they can bust ya for a DWI..."
I'm in love.
"... Yeah, we got a driver up by 121 and 75. He'll give ya a call in--" {Call Ended}
Crap. Dropped call? I was about to bash my head against the nearest wall, when my phone rang.
"Sorry 'bout that, pardner, musta been a bad cell tower or somethin'. Anyway, 15 minutes."
He called back! And, at the right number! And, didn't forget where I was! And... at 14:59 on the clock...
"... Sir? Yeah, this is Thomas, from the cab company... I'm probably 'bout a block away from you... How do I get to you?"
I gave him directions from what turned out to be about 500 feet away. He pulled up almost immediately after I hung up.
"Yeah," Thomas said, "I know some cab companies that do that... They want to get at least four or five of you in the same area before they come out. And then they'll probably charge you $30 or $40 just to come out there... and your ride ain't exactly far."
I feel stupid. I'd have saved money if I had walked this trip instead. I'd have saved money if I could have gotten a hold of someone from work and gotten a ride there. I'd have saved time if I'd called this particular cab company first.
So I'm lighter by $15. But, how much would a DWI have cost me?
