hello hello everyone. I havnt written in a while and i cant sleep SO i figured why the hell not....

Things in 2010 arent going as well as i planned, found the most amazing man ever and he dumped me the day after my birthday because i told him i loved him...Whateverrrrr im over it. Iv decided im going back to college but im going to go to college out of state. i want out of this state so bad. Still living at home with my mom and dad... not where i want to be BUT i cant really do anything about it. its either be here or be homeless. I lost my job back in december because i got swine flu and was out of work for 2 weeks. They labled me as a "liablity". again...WHATEVER. I lost a bunch of weight. if you havnt been able to tell i went from a size 20 down to a size 13. and still losing more! Im so proud of myself for accomplishing something i have been working so hard to do for a long time. I may look different on the outside BUT i am the same me on the inside. And that will never change. i believe whole heartedly in staying true to ones self. Iv been working on my drawing, its gotten alot better now that i actually have time to do it more. I really missed drawing and all that stuff. I have gotten in contact with a bunch of my friends from school again. I missed them alot, havnt seen all of them for like 2 years. got to hang out with a couple of them last week it was awesome. I missed them! I cant really think of much else to write right now. so I will leave you with that... talk to you allll later!

Niki

LOVESTORY~~♥♥

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty and he said no. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever and he said no. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, and once again he replied with a no. She had heard enough. As she walked away,tears streaming down her face. The boy grabbed her arm and said.... You're not pretty you're beautiful. I don't want to be withyou forever. I NEED to be with you forever. And I wouldn't cry if you walked away...I'd die... ♥♥ ~~THE END~~ ♥♥.......

I want a guy like that :(

My Lullaby

Is the sound of your heart beating

My Lullaby

Is the sound of your voice

My Lullaby

Is your soft touch

My Lullaby

Is you laying next to me

My Lullaby

Is you

Its been 3 long years since you've been gone. It seems just like yesterday i got the phone call saying that you had passed away. I sit here this morning and think of all the times i would come over and we would talk and you would teach me a new trick in cooking to cut back on dishes. A cup of flour is a handful, a tablespoon of baking powder is  a palm full. Remembering how we all cried when we found out that you had cancer...we were all afraid but you told us not to worry and it would all be okay. You put up a long a courageous fight for 3 years. I remember riding the hour commute almost daily to go to the doctors for check ups and blood work, chemotherapy, and pain managment. We all learned little tricks of our own to cut back on your pain, and sickness. on May 6th,2006 i guess you decided it was time to give up that fight. And for a week we all sat at your bedside in your home. Checking your temperature, blood pressure, fixing your IV's and keeping you comfortable as you lived out your last days with us. You went peacefully,  quietly, with only a few of us around to say goodbye. I can still remember Pop coming over to you and kissing your lips and saying " I love you Eva. I will see you when i get there." It broke our hearts to see you go but we knew that the pain, and the suffering, and the fight was over. We all miss you gram.... I love you.....

Niki

Im up for auction at Fubars Finest Melons!

http://www.fubar.com/photo.php?u=1914021&albumid=1650980&i=3094190885&idx=17

so go to that link and bid on me!

Muahz

Darling Niki

This is the USMC Girlfriend Handbook:
1) Dont count on anything, hurry up and wait
2) Dont Listen to anyone on the outside,All you will get is negative remarks, which make things harder for you to deal with.
3) When he becomes stubborn and a royal pain in the ass, just remind yourself hes probably had a bad day,and being away from you is hard on him to. So just let him rant and dont take it personal.
4) When your down, treat yourself.
5) Learn how to listen if you dont know how! He will need you. You will be the one he comes to when he needs to bitch, but dont bitch back. That is what the USMC girlfriend is for! This is a hard time for our men, and they need us much more than sometimes they think they do.
6) Love your marine, be truthful, and reassure him, even if hes deployed, he will have someone to come back to.
7) He will try to pull away at some point, whether directly telling you to move on and not wait for him, or just becoming distant. Its a way they try to deal. Stick with him because he really does want (and need) you there.
8) When he is away for a long time, or even just a couple hours, write alot of letters! Communication is key to a relationship!
9) Some of his friends will probably be morons...expect this.
10) You arent the only woman in his life. His mom loves and misses him to, so make sure she is updated on what is going on with him.
11) He needs to feel important, so dont hold back on the compliments- remind him of how proud you are of what he does.
12) Chances are they wont call when they say they will.
13) Dont buy that non refundable plane ticket to early.
14) When eating with a marine either finish your "chow" in 15 minutes or less or be stared at until you are finished.
15) Never take one single minute with them for granted. Live each day with them like its the last one you will have in a while, because with the Marine Corps, it just might be.
16) Take lots of pictures so you can remember what eachother looks like.
17) Dont even TRY to compare your Marine to ordinary men.You can no longer complain about broken plans, that phone call you were supposed to get but didnt, missed birthdays and anniversaries, his snoring (hey at least hes sleeping BESIDE you), spending more time with "the boys" then you ect, ect,ect,ect.
18) Always look on the bright side of things. How many of your gal pals get to get their first encounter, first date, first kiss from their men over and over again?
19) Gotta be able to keep up with your man. We give our Marines a whole new meaning of PT.
20) Even if he says he will, he probably wont. Maybe really means probably not, OR probably not when he said he would.
21) Being a Marines girlfriend is the toughest job in the corps. You have to deal with stress similar to the wives, without the promise of forever or the benefits and support they get.
22) We find ourselves using military lingo. "Im going to get my room squared away.", "Its chow time.", or using military time.
23) Patients is the BIGGEST key to making the relationship work. You have to wait alot, but in the end, waiting is what makes it worthwhile.

Semper Fi to My Marine ♥

So i had to go into work today and talk to my boss... didnt know what it was all about but had a feeling... i was semi right about my feeling.., Due to the fact that i am going to be going to school in July for Cosmetology, and need a schedual change at work and my call ins since i started working there (which for 90% of them i have doctors notes saying i was UNABLE to work) I have to put a 2 week notice in before July. I dont understand WHY they keep picking at me, and never touch the people whom call in ever weekend when it is their weekend to work. I dont fuckin get it... But whatever.. so i have to look for a new job ASAP. I am so friggin pissed off right now... GOD FUCKING DAMN!

How is it possible that someone can say they love you so much yet hate everything you represent and do? Like they will say "I love everything about you...BUT this this this and this."

How in gods name is that possible? If they Love everything about you how can they hate just certain things? It makes no fuckin sense to me... i guess im just confused.... someone PLEASE explain this to me...

Okay i have an Auction folder, go place your bids!

Currently up for auction:

Nurse Naughty

~*ViXeNz LoVe*~

both auctions end April 15th!!! make your bids!!!

The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones. 
2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."
8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labeled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labeled as such.
10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.
11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.
15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
16. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."
17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.
20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.
22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.
23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)
25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.
26. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.
27. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.
28. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.
29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.
30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.
31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.
32. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.
33. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.
34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.
35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.
36. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.
37. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.
38. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.
39. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.
40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.
41. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.
42. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.
43. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.
44. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.
45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.
46. If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.
47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.
48. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.
49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.
50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.
51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.
52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.
53. If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.
54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.
55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.
56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.
57. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.
58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.
59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.
60. My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.
61. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.
62. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.
63. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.
64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.
65. If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.
66. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.
67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.
68. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.
69. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.
70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.
71. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.
72. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them.
73. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.
74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.
75. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.
76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)
77. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutentant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.
78. I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."
79. If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.
80. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.
81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.
82. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.
83. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.
84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.
85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."
86. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.
87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.
88. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.
89. After I captures the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.
90. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.
91. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.
92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)
93. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.
94. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.
95. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.
96. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.
97. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unraveled.
98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.
99. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.
100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.